By the end of this series we may not know how good the victor is, but we will have a clearer idea of how poor the vanquished has really become.
Such have been the trials of India and England since they became the world's top-ranked Test sides, a little like the pop star suffering from second-album blues.
So to the neutral, at its core this series is about recalibration, not Indian revenge for the summer of 2011 or the English search for a first series win in India since 1984.
Do not take this the wrong way: both are compelling motivations, but because the mighty have fallen so mightily, it is human nature to know how low they have sunk.
With Australia and South Africa also playing each other, cricket's rankings are currently in delicious disorder. Certainly it has made the ICC go mad sending emails assiduously detailing the many permutations for the three sides aiming to go top.
Their last email outlined nine different situations across both series for England to reach No 1 only leaving out the scenario in which every other Test side ceases to be a Test side.
Beyond all this, where to begin with this series that has so much going on that an anticlimax might not be a bad thing all round?
The headlines are Spin v England. How should they play? How will they play? Can the surfaces turn as much as expected? Does turn even matter, given England struggled mostly with the skid and bounce in the UAE?
Here is the little that is concrete. India do not have a Saeed Ajmal in their attack, but they do have spinners as good as Abdur Rehman and Rangana Herath (the lesser mystery of this pair still managed to flummox 38 English wickets between them across five Tests earlier this year).
On the other side, England have been poor collectively against spin, but they possess individuals who can handle spin competently.
Beyond that it is all fluid conjecture, although the accent may well be on crease occupation rather than pure run scoring, an attritional coming together of two attritional sides.
Underneath, everywhere you look there is something to keep an eye on.
Foremost are the returns of Kevin Pietersen (molecules and convicted criminals can be reintegrated, not batsmen) and maybe Yuvraj Singh, pie-chucked and pie-chucker respectively, together again for more cartoonish capers.
Meanwhile, right across the Indian batting line-up – old openers, new middle order and Sachin Tendulkar – one question will suffice, albeit in slightly modified constructions: can they still cut it? Can they cut it? Can he still cut it?
Even of Alastair Cook, on his first tour as full-time Test captain, a similar question could be asked.
India is where his senior career began, a matter-of-fact century on debut in 2006 signalling the start of a career so choir-boyishly dutiful and colourlessly prodigious that one day he will be the daddy of all Test batting records and we will be left asking ourselves how and when he did it.
Graeme Swann is also returning to the scene of his international debut, now with a perceptible but not yet alarming dip in returns.
It has unhinged England's attack just enough for it to loosen up its hitherto constrictive, menacing preponderance.
India is not the place for attacking off-spinners to regain form, but Swann, cricketer and man, is an outlier and India's batting is not what it used to be.
Other than Virat Kohli that is, who has looked as destined for greatness this year as any young batsmen in years.
He is already a superstar but as he stands at the foot of a very long, crowded road, this series appears at just the right moment for him, in the familiarity of home, against a very good pace attack, with greater responsibility.
Too many other stories to keep a tab on; the overworked MS Dhoni's captaincy; the Zimbabwean coaching shoot-out between one inscrutable and one invisible; Harbhajan Singh's return; the arrival of Nick Compton (no pressure from being Denis's grandson, none whatsoever) as an opening partner for Cook; Ian Bell's on again, off again claims to greatness; Zaheer Khan's bandaged body; the potency of England's pace bowlers after a poor summer.
A shame though, thanks to the stand-off between the Board of Control for Cricket in India and Sky television, that the sequel to the tete-a-tete between pundits Nasser Hussain and Ravi Shastri from last summer over the Decision Review System (DRS) is unlikely. Do expect, however, the DRS to feature prominently in this crowd.
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2020 Oscars winners: in numbers
- Parasite – 4
- 1917– 3
- Ford v Ferrari – 2
- Joker – 2
- Once Upon a Time ... in Hollywood – 2
- American Factory – 1
- Bombshell – 1
- Hair Love – 1
- Jojo Rabbit – 1
- Judy – 1
- Little Women – 1
- Learning to Skateboard in a Warzone (If You're a Girl) – 1
- Marriage Story – 1
- Rocketman – 1
- The Neighbors' Window – 1
- Toy Story 4 – 1
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Where to buy
Limited-edition art prints of The Sofa Series: Sultani can be acquired from Reem El Mutwalli at www.reemelmutwalli.com
The%20specs
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DUBAI SEVENS 2018 DRAW
Gulf Men’s League
Pool A – Dubai Exiles, Dubai Hurricanes, Bahrain, Dubai Sports City Eagles
Pool B – Jebel Ali Dragons, Abu Dhabi Saracens, Abu Dhabi Harlequins, Al Ain Amblers
Gulf Men’s Open
Pool A – Bahrain Firbolgs, Arabian Knights, Yalla Rugby, Muscat
Pool B – Amman Citadel, APB Dubai Sharks, Jebel Ali Dragons 2, Saudi Rugby
Pool C – Abu Dhabi Harlequins 2, Roberts Construction, Dubai Exiles 2
Pool D – Dubai Tigers, UAE Shaheen, Sharjah Wanderers, Amman Citadel 2
Gulf U19 Boys
Pool A – Deira International School, Dubai Hurricanes, British School Al Khubairat, Jumeirah English Speaking School B
Pool B – Dubai English Speaking College 2, Jumeirah College, Dubai College A, Abu Dhabi Harlequins 2
Pool C – Bahrain Colts, Al Yasmina School, DESC, DC B
Pool D – Al Ain Amblers, Repton Royals, Dubai Exiles, Gems World Academy Dubai
Pool E – JESS A, Abu Dhabi Sharks, Abu Dhabi Harlequins 1, EC
Gulf Women
Pool A – Kuwait Scorpions, Black Ruggers, Dubai Sports City Eagles, Dubai Hurricanes 2
Pool B – Emirates Firebirds, Sharjah Wanderers, RAK Rides, Beirut Aconites
Pool C – Dubai Hurricanes, Emirates Firebirds 2, Abu Dhabi Saracens, Transforma Panthers
Pool D – AUC Wolves, Dubai Hawks, Abu Dhabi Harlequins, Al Ain Amblers
Gulf U19 Girls
Pool A – Dubai Exiles, BSAK, DESC, Al Maha
Pool B – Arabian Knights, Dubai Hurricanes, Al Ain Amblers, Abu Dhabi Harlequins
The specs: 2019 Haval H6
Price, base: Dh69,900
Engine: 2.0-litre turbocharged four-cylinder
Transmission: Seven-speed automatic
Power: 197hp @ 5,500rpm
Torque: 315Nm @ 2,000rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 7.0L / 100km
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RESULTS
5pm: Rated Conditions (PA) Dh85,000 (Turf) 1,600m
Winner: AF Mouthirah, Tadhg O’Shea (jockey), Ernst Oertel (trainer)
5.30pm: Maiden (PA) Dh80,000 (T) 1,400m
Winner: AF Alajaj, Tadhg O’Shea, Ernst Oertel
6pm: Wathba Stallions Cup Handicap (PA) Dh70,000 (T) 1,400m
Winner: Hawafez, Connor Beasley, Abubakar Daud
6.30pm: Maiden (PA) Dh80,000 (T) 2,200m
Winner: Tair, Fabrice Veron, Eric Lemartinel
7pm: Handicap (PA) Dh80,000 (T) 2,200m
Winner: Wakeel W’Rsan, Richard Mullen, Jaci Wickham
7.30pm: Handicap (PA) Dh100,000 (T) 2,400m
Winner: Son Of Normandy, Fernando Jara, Ahmad bin Harmash
Our family matters legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
MATCH INFO
Real Madrid 2 (Benzema 13', Kroos 28')
Barcelona 1 (Mingueza 60')
Red card: Casemiro (Real Madrid)
AI traffic lights to ease congestion at seven points to Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Street
The seven points are:
Shakhbout bin Sultan Street
Dhafeer Street
Hadbat Al Ghubainah Street (outbound)
Salama bint Butti Street
Al Dhafra Street
Rabdan Street
Umm Yifina Street exit (inbound)
Emergency phone numbers in the UAE
Estijaba – 8001717 – number to call to request coronavirus testing
Ministry of Health and Prevention – 80011111
Dubai Health Authority – 800342 – The number to book a free video or voice consultation with a doctor or connect to a local health centre
Emirates airline – 600555555
Etihad Airways – 600555666
Ambulance – 998
Knowledge and Human Development Authority – 8005432 ext. 4 for Covid-19 queries
The President's Cake
Director: Hasan Hadi
Starring: Baneen Ahmad Nayyef, Waheed Thabet Khreibat, Sajad Mohamad Qasem
Rating: 4/5
MATCH INFO
Uefa Champions League semi-final, first leg
Bayern Munich v Real Madrid
When: April 25, 10.45pm kick-off (UAE)
Where: Allianz Arena, Munich
Live: BeIN Sports HD
Second leg: May 1, Santiago Bernabeu, Madrid
'O'
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'Ghostbusters: From Beyond'
Director: Jason Reitman
Starring: Paul Rudd, Carrie Coon, Finn Wolfhard, Mckenna Grace
Rating: 2/5
Abramovich London
A Kensington Palace Gardens house with 15 bedrooms is valued at more than £150 million.
A three-storey penthouse at Chelsea Waterfront bought for £22 million.
Steel company Evraz drops more than 10 per cent in trading after UK officials said it was potentially supplying the Russian military.
Sale of Chelsea Football Club is now impossible.
The biog
Favourite hobby: I love to sing but I don’t get to sing as much nowadays sadly.
Favourite book: Anything by Sidney Sheldon.
Favourite movie: The Exorcist 2. It is a big thing in our family to sit around together and watch horror movies, I love watching them.
Favourite holiday destination: The favourite place I have been to is Florence, it is a beautiful city. My dream though has always been to visit Cyprus, I really want to go there.
RedCrow Intelligence Company Profile
Started: 2016
Founders: Hussein Nasser Eddin, Laila Akel, Tayeb Akel
Based: Ramallah, Palestine
Sector: Technology, Security
# of staff: 13
Investment: $745,000
Investors: Palestine’s Ibtikar Fund, Abu Dhabi’s Gothams and angel investors
Polarised public
31% in UK say BBC is biased to left-wing views
19% in UK say BBC is biased to right-wing views
19% in UK say BBC is not biased at all
Source: YouGov
Wallabies
Updated team: 15-Israel Folau, 14-Dane Haylett-Petty, 13-Reece Hodge, 12-Matt Toomua, 11-Marika Koroibete, 10-Kurtley Beale, 9-Will Genia, 8-Pete Samu, 7-Michael Hooper (captain), 6-Lukhan Tui, 5-Adam Coleman, 4-Rory Arnold, 3-Allan Alaalatoa, 2-Tatafu Polota-Nau, 1-Scott Sio.
Replacements: 16-Folau Faingaa, 17-Tom Robertson, 18-Taniela Tupou, 19-Izack Rodda, 20-Ned Hanigan, 21-Joe Powell, 22-Bernard Foley, 23-Jack Maddocks.