As Parker set his late shot off on its high, wistful parabola, he had plenty of time to muse on what might have been.
What if his mum and dad had demanded more royalties from that McDonald's advert he starred in when he was a kid?
What if he had not thrown in his lot with Chelsea in favour of a move to low-flying Newcastle United five years ago?
What if Fabio Capello had realised that a fully fit Gareth Barry was not the World Cup answer, let alone a barely fit one?
What if he had expressed a little more eagerness to move when Liverpool came calling for him this summer?
Then the ball struck the back of the net, and he was still playing for West Ham United, still bottom of the Premier League, and still having to answer to Avram Grant.
When Tim Cahill's trademark header brought his side back to 3-2 with 90 seconds left of injury time, it prompted the sort of cheer from the Gwladys Street end that meant: "Oh, that was unexpected. I'm glad I stayed now."
Few among the Goodison Park faithful might have expected their side would then go on to equalise (let alone have a chance to seal a win).
Then Everton retrieved possession, slung it into the mixer, Cahill got his head on it again, and Mikel Arteta, everyone's favourite Anglo-Basque midfield maestro, smashed the loose ball home.
Cue pandemonium on Gwladys Street, and a quick retraction from Efan Ekoku on commentary for deigning to suggest the game was over at 3-1, as well as for doubting the wisdom of David Moyes, the Toffees manager.
Cue, too, Sir Alex Ferguson, his Manchester united counterpart, trading in his Rolex for a new model: Fergie Time is not supposed to work like this.
England's finest performer at this summer's World Cup earned himself an extended holiday for his exploits in South Africa.
The smiling Yorkshireman Howard Webb brandished 13 yellow cards and a red in the World Cup final, and made himself Public Enemy No 1 in Holland as a result.
Ironically, referee Webb handed out the first card of his return to Premier League duty for a foul on a Dutchman, the new Tottenham Hotspur playmaker, Rafael van der Vaart.
He even took time out to treat an eye problem suffered by the same player later in the game. So no hard feelings there, then.
After a pair of stellar displays for his country during the international break, England's No 1 was probably starting to think he could walk on water.
He has now learned that walking on slightly sodden grass 10 yards outside of your penalty area, with no good reason, brings with it its own perils.
Pride comes before a fall. For all the plaudits Hart has been receiving for his brilliance between the posts for club and country, he should still leave the defending to those who are paid handsomely to do it.
The incredulous smile of Manchester City's captain and centre-half, Kolo Toure, said it all, after his goalkeeper decided to go walkabout to allow Blackburn Rovers to score the calamitous opening goal at Eastlands. What was he thinking?
Given the way he has turned the club around since arriving at White Hart Lane, Harry Redknapp, the Tottenham manager, probably has a point when he says Spurs fans should trust his judgement.
However, the jury is likely to remain in session for a long time on the signing of William Gallas, the former Arsenal captain, going by his lacklustre first appearance since crossing the north London divide.
West Bromwich Albion's supporters welcomed him to The Hawthorns with a rendition of, "Gallas is an Arsenal fan." And that was about the highlight for the veteran Frenchman.
Judging by his passing on Saturday, Gallas has yet to be introduced to the majority of his new teammates.
The little-heralded Marc-Antoine Fortune strolled past him to set up the home side's goal.
The striker generally gave him a torrid time all afternoon, which reached its nadir when he was booked for fouling him.
Gallas could have righted the wrongs when a chance to score the winner fell his way three yards out, but he ballooned it over the bar.
Gallas will have to get better for Spurs; he cannot get much worse.
pradley@thenational.ae
How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
Know your camel milk:
Flavour: Similar to goat’s milk, although less pungent. Vaguely sweet with a subtle, salty aftertaste.
Texture: Smooth and creamy, with a slightly thinner consistency than cow’s milk.
Use it: In your morning coffee, to add flavour to homemade ice cream and milk-heavy desserts, smoothies, spiced camel-milk hot chocolate.
Goes well with: chocolate and caramel, saffron, cardamom and cloves. Also works well with honey and dates.
The specs
AT4 Ultimate, as tested
Engine: 6.2-litre V8
Power: 420hp
Torque: 623Nm
Transmission: 10-speed automatic
Price: From Dh330,800 (Elevation: Dh236,400; AT4: Dh286,800; Denali: Dh345,800)
On sale: Now
Emergency
Director: Kangana Ranaut
Stars: Kangana Ranaut, Anupam Kher, Shreyas Talpade, Milind Soman, Mahima Chaudhry
Rating: 2/5
How to avoid crypto fraud
- Use unique usernames and passwords while enabling multi-factor authentication.
- Use an offline private key, a physical device that requires manual activation, whenever you access your wallet.
- Avoid suspicious social media ads promoting fraudulent schemes.
- Only invest in crypto projects that you fully understand.
- Critically assess whether a project’s promises or returns seem too good to be true.
- Only use reputable platforms that have a track record of strong regulatory compliance.
- Store funds in hardware wallets as opposed to online exchanges.
'Brazen'
Director: Monika Mitchell
Starring: Alyssa Milano, Sam Page, Colleen Wheeler
Rating: 3/5
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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Our legal advisor
Ahmad El Sayed is Senior Associate at Charles Russell Speechlys, a law firm headquartered in London with offices in the UK, Europe, the Middle East and Hong Kong.
Experience: Commercial litigator who has assisted clients with overseas judgments before UAE courts. His specialties are cases related to banking, real estate, shareholder disputes, company liquidations and criminal matters as well as employment related litigation.
Education: Sagesse University, Beirut, Lebanon, in 2005.
Your rights as an employee
The government has taken an increasingly tough line against companies that fail to pay employees on time. Three years ago, the Cabinet passed a decree allowing the government to halt the granting of work permits to companies with wage backlogs.
The new measures passed by the Cabinet in 2016 were an update to the Wage Protection System, which is in place to track whether a company pays its employees on time or not.
If wages are 10 days late, the new measures kick in and the company is alerted it is in breach of labour rules. If wages remain unpaid for a total of 16 days, the authorities can cancel work permits, effectively shutting off operations. Fines of up to Dh5,000 per unpaid employee follow after 60 days.
Despite those measures, late payments remain an issue, particularly in the construction sector. Smaller contractors, such as electrical, plumbing and fit-out businesses, often blame the bigger companies that hire them for wages being late.
The authorities have urged employees to report their companies at the labour ministry or Tawafuq service centres — there are 15 in Abu Dhabi.
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Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia