The Super Mario Bros Movie might just be the most cynical cash-grab in cinematic history.
Based on Nintendo’s seminal video game franchise that is adored the world over, the animated film tells the origin story of Mario (Chris Pratt), a struggling plumber from Brooklyn, New York. He and his younger brother Luigi (Charlie Day) are accidentally transported to the Mushroom Kingdom after they step too close to a large green pipe.
There he has to travel across this bizarre world in order to save Luigi, who has been captured by the fire-breathing turtle creature Bowser (Jack Black). Mario goes on this journey with the help of the Mushroom Kingdom’s ruler Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy) and a mushroom-human hybrid Toad (Keegan-Michael Key).
Along the way, Mario has to wrestle Donkey Kong (Seth Rogen), the heir to the Jungle Kingdom, in order to gain access to his army, as well as traverse the terrifying Rainbow Road on a kart.
The Super Mario Bros Movie has no interest in making this simple plot surprising or even that dramatic. What’s even worse is that none of the all-star vocal talents actually seem suited to the characters they’re voicing, leaving the film dull and lifeless.
Instead, The Super Mario Bros Movie is entirely focused on shoe-horning famous scenes, locations, characters, and Easter eggs from its various video games into the narrative, even though none of them piece together smoothly.
It’s almost as if The Super Mario Bros Movie was made by a committee of marketers. Presumably, directors Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic (Teen Titans Go! To The Movies) and screenwriter Matthew Fogel (Minions: The Rise Of Gru) were told which elements of the Mario franchise had to be included in the film in order to keep fans happy. The trio then had the thankless task of trying to create an engaging cinematic story from these random parts, which clearly proved to be impossible.
The main consequence of the story’s hollow characters and its constant attempts to pay homage to the franchise is that The Super Mario Bros Movie barely feels like a movie at all. In fact, it often feels as though you’re watching someone play a video game. Badly, too.
There’s one training sequence where Mario tries to complete an obstacle course, but he repeatedly misses his jumps or is hit by a shell, which results in him falling into the water and then starting over again.
It would be easier to overlook The Super Mario Bros Movie’s many failings if it was actually funny. But its jokes are just predictable as its story. Not even the esteemed comedic talents of Pratt, Day, Black, Key and Rogen can create a hearty or memorable laugh.
When the jokes aren’t falling flat, The Super Mario Bros Movie’s soundtrack is bizarrely filled with random tracks from the 1980s and 1990s. They don’t fit at all with the movie and only act as a reminder of just how inorganic and utterly pathetic this cinematic endeavour is.
In fact, The Super Mario Bros Movie’s only redeeming feature is that it’s mercifully only 92 minutes long. The relentless pace of its threadbare story, as well as its blindingly bright animation, means that it never actually becomes unbearable to watch. Kids will be mesmerised by the colourful world, while adults will nod with recognition at its never-ending supply of Easter eggs.
But, sadly, The Super Mario Bros Movie is yet further proof that major Hollywood productions are more interested in creating safe, run-of-the-mill interpretations of hugely popular franchises that deliver exactly what fans expect, rather than using the intellectual properties to create something fresh, adventurous and meaningful.
As a result, rather than being a celebration of a beloved character, The Super Mario Bros Movie only ends up embodying everything that’s wrong with modern mainstream movie-making. Especially since, despite its many, many failings, it’s still clearly going to be a huge success.
The Super Mario Bros Movie is out in the UAE on April 20
Scroll through the gallery below for more images of the film
-
Anya Taylor-Joy as Princess Peach and Chris Pratt as Mario in The Super Mario Bros Movie. All photos: Universal Pictures -
Chris Pratt as Mario and Charlie Day as Luigi -
Jack Black as Bowser, a monstrous, fire-breathing anthropomorphic turtle -
The Super Mario Bros Movie is directed by Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic, best known for the Teen Titans Go! series -
Seth Rogen voices Donkey Kong -
The film is based on Nintendo’s seminal video game franchise that is adored the world over -
The ensemble voice cast includes Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor-Joy, Charlie Day, Jack Black, Keegan-Michael Key, Seth Rogen and Fred Armisen, among others
