Last week, just like every few months, I came across another article about mixed marriages. Once again, somebody was panicking about the effect that such unions might have on “national identity” and the population. This time the FNC was asked to establish a special committee to look into why so many Emirati men are choosing to marry foreign women.
Who one chooses to marry is a very personal decision and members of society at large should not feel like they can comment so liberally on the issue. While I am a firm believer that everyone is entitled to their opinion, the time has come for someone to point out just how potentially offensive and hurtful it is to have people comment on this topic in this way.
Imagine being a product of a marriage where one parent is not Emirati and you are continually being made to feel that you are intrinsically related to social problems that need to be resolved. I refuse to have any of my brothers and sisters feel like there is something wrong with them or that they or their parents are not welcome as part of this country. We are, after all, a Harry Potter generation. We will not stand for any talk of pure-blood versus Mudblood.
Repeatedly singling out mixed families or their children does nothing but alienate the ever-growing part of our society that fall into that category. Many of my close friends have one parent who is not from this country.
While for some people this had very little or no influence on their lives growing up, others had very negative experiences and as a result do not feel like they are a part of society. They were picked on in school and were made to feel different and unwelcome. While I think the trend is changing in younger generations, who care little for these things, we still need to address the fact that the existing mentality is harmful and should not persist. Again this is not the case for everyone, but we shouldn’t ask anyone to prove their Emirati-ness, especially since each of us bring something unique to the existing culture. The essence of the UAE is its diversity, its openness and acceptance, and that is meant to preclude preconceived notions or ideas about people who are mixed.
So what are the real issues at stake when certain people bring up the issue of mixed marriages? Is it the loss of Arabic language? A perceived loss of traditions and customs? Because if so, these are all things that can be addressed without pointing fingers and placing blame. These issues can be addressed by rallying the whole community to come together. But if you continue to stigmatise or alienate part of your population, there is no reason for them to want to fully embrace the culture.
We can do things such as encourage reading and writing in Arabic, and make elements of Emirati culture part of the school curriculum. Offering classes on Bedouin history, Emirati dialect or falconry can do this.
We can work to expand the availability of cultural fairs that go beyond the usual touristy type. We can work to revitalise the rich oral poetry tradition through workshops and performances, trips into the desert or out at sea to experience how our ancestors lived.
We should also remember what the most essential components of UAE “national identity” are such as the importance of family, respecting our elders, being generous and hospitable, keeping the UAE a safe and welcoming country etc. In addition, we shouldn’t forget to celebrate all the different elements that have been brought here by other cultures and how without every little different piece the UAE wouldn’t be the same.
We are all responsible for the society we live in and in shaping it.
We should not tolerate it if anyone singles out or places judgement on any member of our community. I find that attitude, more than anything else, most damaging in trying to maintain a close-knit community.
Fatima Al Shamsi is a globetrotting Emirati foodie, film buff and football fanatic
