You might not trust your pilot. You might think she’s incapable of getting you where you want to go. But the moment when your stricken 747, engines ablaze and undercarriage jammed, is coming in for a crash landing on a strange, fogbound runway is probably not the ideal time to force her out of the cockpit.
The decision by Britain's Conservative MPs to submit their leader, Prime Minister Theresa May, to a vote of no confidence on the eve of concluding the UK's Brexit deal will do nothing to restore public confidence in the ability of the British government to deliver anything but a chaotic withdrawal from the EU.
If Mrs May loses her job in tonight's ballot, the Conservative party will either anoint a successor who could take control before Parliament recesses in just over a week, or descend into a bitter and divisive power struggle that could drag on well into the new year.
The Cabinet is not short of sharp-toothed, ambitious predators, so the smart money is on the latter, in which case the tumult is only getting started.
Whoever takes the reins, they still face the intractable problem of satisfying all elements of their party and winning over a majority in the wider House of Commons to support any version of the Brexit deal they manage to cobble together.
As Mrs May has proved, this is an impossible task.
If she wins the vote, she is safe for another year – unless, of course, opposition parties and a small number of her own disgruntled troops find sufficient common ground to force a general election.
If that happens, at least half of the country’s voters will be willing the opposition Labour party to win, and then to pull the plug on Brexit altogether.
But in short, and as has been the case all along, what happens next in the great Brexit tragicomedy is anyone’s guess.
In her speech in response to the challenge to her leadership, packed with the tired, unconvincingly hollow rhetoric that has become her stock in trade, Mrs May presented the unedifying spectacle of a prime minister quite literally begging for her job.
She would, she said, contest the challenge “with everything I’ve got”, even though it must have been as clear to her as it was to her MPs and the rest of the country that everything she’s got hadn’t been enough to fend off a challenge in the first place.
She believed, she said, “in the Conservative vision for a better future”, and “a thriving economy, with nowhere and nobody left behind”.
Perhaps she’d been too busy over the past couple of years to read the ever-growing body of analysis, including the forecasts of her own government, that has predicted that everywhere, and everyone, will be worse off post-Brexit.
Mrs May was at least right when she said that a change of leadership at this point would create further uncertainty “when we can least afford it” and that a leadership election “would not change the fundamentals of the negotiation or the parliamentary arithmetic”.
But there was no point in appealing to logic or common sense at this stage of the game.
Mrs May earned the enmity of a significant proportion of her party when, having been handed the leadership unopposed in July 2016, she threw away the Conservative’s parliamentary majority by calling, and losing, an entirely unnecessary general election.
Ever since, confidence in her has ebbed.
True, it wasn’t her fault when the letters of the party slogan started to fall off the wall behind her as she gave her speech to the Conservative party conference in 2017.
She couldn’t really be blamed, either, for becoming trapped in her car on Tuesday as Angela Merkel, the German chancellor, waited patiently on the red carpet to tell her that no, there was nothing she could do to bail her out of her predicament back home.
But when even inanimate objects start working against you, the writing is on the wall (before it falls off, at least).
As for the electorate, come a general election, it won’t be forgotten that Mrs May’s predecessor David Cameron triggered Brexit as a cynical ploy to keep his party in power in the face of rising pressure from populist right-wing politicians seeking to blame foreigners for all Britain’s perceived woes.
Mr Cameron, having tossed the Brexit grenade into the room, quit to write his memoirs instead of sticking around to pick up the pieces, as most in his party and in the country believed he should have done.
Many believe that, instead of picking up Brexit and running with it, Mrs May should have had the courage of her Remainer beliefs and either declined the leadership on principle or stood to reverse the referendum result in a general election.
Quite how an election might play now for the Conservatives was illustrated today by the venomous social media response to a tweet from Mr Cameron, who had the lack of self-awareness to tweet that "we need no distractions from seeking the best outcome with our neighbours, friends and partners in the EU”. As one of thousands of angry ripostes put it: “So says the man who lit the fuse then ran like the wind”.
As Mrs May fights for her political future, comparisons are, inevitably, being made with the overthrow of previous Conservative prime minister Margaret Thatcher, ousted from power in a coup 28 years ago.
But there is a vital difference between the events of 1990 and the power struggle now unfolding in Westminster. Unlike Mrs May, Mrs Thatcher was not leading the UK through perhaps its most significant period in post-war history.
However bumpy the post-Brexit touchdown for which Britons were braced could have been, the crash landing they now face promises to be far more calamitous.
UAE FIXTURES
October 18 – 7.30pm, UAE v Oman, Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi
October 19 – 7.30pm, UAE v Ireland, Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi
October 21 – 2.10pm, UAE v Hong Kong, Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi
October 22 – 2.10pm, UAE v Jersey, Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi
October 24 – 10am, UAE v Nigeria, Abu Dhabi Cricket Oval 1
October 27 – 7.30pm, UAE v Canada, Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi
October 29 – 2.10pm, Playoff 1 – A2 v B3; 7.30pm, Playoff 2 – A3 v B2, at Dubai International Stadium.
October 30 – 2.10pm, Playoff 3 – A4 v Loser of Play-off 1; 7.30pm, Playoff 4 – B4 v Loser of Play-off 2 at Dubai International Stadium
November 1 – 2.10pm, Semifinal 1 – B1 v Winner of Play-off 1; 7.30pm, Semifinal 2 – A1 v Winner of Play-off 2 at Dubai International Stadium
November 2 – 2.10pm, Third place Playoff – B1 v Winner of Play-off 1; 7.30pm, Final, at Dubai International Stadium
Du Football Champions
The fourth season of du Football Champions was launched at Gitex on Wednesday alongside the Middle East’s first sports-tech scouting platform.“du Talents”, which enables aspiring footballers to upload their profiles and highlights reels and communicate directly with coaches, is designed to extend the reach of the programme, which has already attracted more than 21,500 players in its first three years.
Our legal columnist
Name: Yousef Al Bahar
Advocate at Al Bahar & Associate Advocates and Legal Consultants, established in 1994
Education: Mr Al Bahar was born in 1979 and graduated in 2008 from the Judicial Institute. He took after his father, who was one of the first Emirati lawyers
RESULTS
2.15pm: Al Marwan Group Holding – Handicap (PA) Dh40,000 (Dirt) 1,200m
Winner: SS Jalmod, Antonio Fresu (jockey), Ibrahim Al Hadhrami (trainer)
2.45pm: Sharjah Equine Hospital – Maiden (PA) Dh40,000 (D) 1,000m
Winner: Ghallieah, Sebastien Martino, Jean-Claude Pecout
3.15pm: Al Marwan Group Holding – Handicap (PA) Dh40,000 (D) 1,700m
Winner: Inthar, Saif Al Balushi, Khalifa Al Neyadi
3.45pm: Al Ain Stud Emirates Breeders Trophy – Conditions (PA) Dh50,000 (D) 1,700m
Winner: MH Rahal, Richard Mullen, Elise Jeanne
4.25pm: Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan Cup – Prestige Handicap (PA) Dh100,000 (D) 1,200m
Winner: JAP Aneed, Ray Dawson, Irfan Ellahi
4.45pm: Sharjah Equine Hospital – Handicap (TB) Dh40,000 (D) 1,200m
Winner: Edaraat, Antonio Fresu, Musabah Al Muhairi
Tamkeen's offering
- Option 1: 70% in year 1, 50% in year 2, 30% in year 3
- Option 2: 50% across three years
- Option 3: 30% across five years
At a glance
Global events: Much of the UK’s economic woes were blamed on “increased global uncertainty”, which can be interpreted as the economic impact of the Ukraine war and the uncertainty over Donald Trump’s tariffs.
Growth forecasts: Cut for 2025 from 2 per cent to 1 per cent. The OBR watchdog also estimated inflation will average 3.2 per cent this year
Welfare: Universal credit health element cut by 50 per cent and frozen for new claimants, building on cuts to the disability and incapacity bill set out earlier this month
Spending cuts: Overall day-to day-spending across government cut by £6.1bn in 2029-30
Tax evasion: Steps to crack down on tax evasion to raise “£6.5bn per year” for the public purse
Defence: New high-tech weaponry, upgrading HM Naval Base in Portsmouth
Housing: Housebuilding to reach its highest in 40 years, with planning reforms helping generate an extra £3.4bn for public finances
Our legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
Past winners of the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix
2016 Lewis Hamilton (Mercedes-GP)
2015 Nico Rosberg (Mercedes-GP)
2014 Lewis Hamilton (Mercedes-GP)
2013 Sebastian Vettel (Red Bull Racing)
2012 Kimi Raikkonen (Lotus)
2011 Lewis Hamilton (McLaren)
2010 Sebastian Vettel (Red Bull Racing)
2009 Sebastian Vettel (Red Bull Racing)
ARGYLLE
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Off-roading in the UAE: How to checklist
The%20specs
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Top 10 in the F1 drivers' standings
1. Sebastian Vettel, Ferrari 202 points
2. Lewis Hamilton, Mercedes-GP 188
3. Valtteri Bottas, Mercedes-GP 169
4. Daniel Ricciardo, Red Bull Racing 117
5. Kimi Raikkonen, Ferrari 116
6. Max Verstappen, Red Bull Racing 67
7. Sergio Perez, Force India 56
8. Esteban Ocon, Force India 45
9. Carlos Sainz Jr, Toro Rosso 35
10. Nico Hulkenberg, Renault 26
More from Rashmee Roshan Lall
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
BMW M5 specs
Engine: 4.4-litre twin-turbo V-8 petrol enging with additional electric motor
Power: 727hp
Torque: 1,000Nm
Transmission: 8-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 10.6L/100km
On sale: Now
Price: From Dh650,000
Our legal consultants
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
Global state-owned investor ranking by size
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What are the GCSE grade equivalents?
- Grade 9 = above an A*
- Grade 8 = between grades A* and A
- Grade 7 = grade A
- Grade 6 = just above a grade B
- Grade 5 = between grades B and C
- Grade 4 = grade C
- Grade 3 = between grades D and E
- Grade 2 = between grades E and F
- Grade 1 = between grades F and G
UK’s AI plan
- AI ambassadors such as MIT economist Simon Johnson, Monzo cofounder Tom Blomfield and Google DeepMind’s Raia Hadsell
- £10bn AI growth zone in South Wales to create 5,000 jobs
- £100m of government support for startups building AI hardware products
- £250m to train new AI models
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
Started: 2020
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: Entertainment
Number of staff: 210
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
Lampedusa: Gateway to Europe
Pietro Bartolo and Lidia Tilotta
Quercus
What is dialysis?
Dialysis is a way of cleaning your blood when your kidneys fail and can no longer do the job.
It gets rid of your body's wastes, extra salt and water, and helps to control your blood pressure. The main cause of kidney failure is diabetes and hypertension.
There are two kinds of dialysis — haemodialysis and peritoneal.
In haemodialysis, blood is pumped out of your body to an artificial kidney machine that filter your blood and returns it to your body by tubes.
In peritoneal dialysis, the inside lining of your own belly acts as a natural filter. Wastes are taken out by means of a cleansing fluid which is washed in and out of your belly in cycles.
It isn’t an option for everyone but if eligible, can be done at home by the patient or caregiver. This, as opposed to home haemodialysis, is covered by insurance in the UAE.
Book%20Details
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The specs
Engine: 3.8-litre, twin-turbo V8
Transmission: eight-speed automatic
Power: 582bhp
Torque: 730Nm
Price: Dh649,000
On sale: now
The White Lotus: Season three
Creator: Mike White
Starring: Walton Goggins, Jason Isaacs, Natasha Rothwell
Rating: 4.5/5
Game Changer
Director: Shankar
Stars: Ram Charan, Kiara Advani, Anjali, S J Suryah, Jayaram
Rating: 2/5
Cricket World Cup League 2
UAE squad
Rahul Chopra (captain), Aayan Afzal Khan, Ali Naseer, Aryansh Sharma, Basil Hameed, Dhruv Parashar, Junaid Siddique, Muhammad Farooq, Muhammad Jawadullah, Muhammad Waseem, Omid Rahman, Rahul Bhatia, Tanish Suri, Vishnu Sukumaran, Vriitya Aravind
Fixtures
Friday, November 1 – Oman v UAE
Sunday, November 3 – UAE v Netherlands
Thursday, November 7 – UAE v Oman
Saturday, November 9 – Netherlands v UAE