In The National's new series, Out of My Comfort Zone, writers explore ways in which they've pushed themselves, be it mentally, emotionally or physically, and reflect on what the experience has taught them
All our bags were packed. We were ready to go. Then someone remembered she’d forgotten her Humantra sachets. Which prompted a second to make a pit stop at the petrol station to pick up vitamin water. Which in turn got a third to frantically check her hand-carry for a not-so-little pouch of mid-air skincare for the seven-hour flight from the UAE to Phuket.
Bemused, I watched my friends – smart, savvy, opinionated women, all – slide into holiday mode on my first girls' trip. Away from children, colleagues, partners and parents, they were liberated, uninhibited and absolutely unapologetic about their femininity.
The dormant tomboy in me was part-fascinated, part-flabbergasted as foot massages were factored into daily plans and a missing hairdryer became cause for consternation.
Fortunately, there were four to spare and share – plus a curler to boot.
What ensued was a study in kindness, generosity and plenty of madcap fun.
What I learnt
Multiple studies on gender and personality traits often credit women with heightened emotional intelligence. Labels such as empathy, adaptability, compassion and compromise are quick to follow suit.
All of these rang true at various points on the trip, offering important life lessons in both grace and group dynamics. Despite the delayed red-eye flight to Phuket for some of us, the others who landed earlier hung about the airport for three hours so we could travel together on the pre-booked hotel shuttle.
The SplitWise app proved to be a lifesaver, with some places not accepting Apple Pay and others only doing business in Thai baht. My money was often no good there, but never once did I feel obliged to lose currency on conversion as one friend or the other stepped up to clear and document bills.
Food is a love language we all spoke, as I discovered to my delight – alongside discovering that each portion of mango sticky rice apparently deserves its own Instagram Story, despite my dismay at having to wait until the perfect picture was clicked.
Would I do it again?
Every year, if not more often. Travelling with girlfriends is fun, freeing and educational. I revelled in our similarities and learnt from our differences.
Above all, I appreciated that the trip brought to the fore qualities of patience, magnanimity and adjustment that are often taken for granted when travelling with a long-time spouse.
Case in point: My roommate on the trip conceded to leaving the air-conditioning thermostat set to the frigid levels I am habituated to, even as I learnt to live with – and sleep through – her phone set to silent-but-on-vibrate mode.
Of course, there will always be non-negotiables, things that one will simply not compromise on. Think good hygiene habits – laundry baskets are made for a reason and sandy feet in bed is just rude.
But that, too, is part of the learning-giving-conceding curve that brings out positives such as versatility and variety – a must on any holiday worth its salt.
Want to try? What to know
Planning is crucial: Whether your travel group is made up of optimistic Pollyannas or nervous Nellies – or likely a mix of the two – ticking off basics such as flight plans, accommodation, conveyance, pre-filled visa forms and restaurant reservations well in advance ensures stress levels are at an all-time low.
Find common ground: For us, this was food. Accordingly, the week we spent in Phuket went hand in hand with two painstakingly researched restaurants per day – from lunches at beach shacks in Kamala and the cottage-bound Michelin-starred One Cheun, to dinners at hip and happening Cafe del Mar and sunset spot Casa Boho. The delicious meals – and accompanying conversation about what felt like every topic under the sun – elevated the trip to no end.
Respect boundaries: If you’re sharing a room with a friend, use a mix of communication and common sense to gauge their preferences and pet peeves, and do your best to attend to or avoid them within reason.
Keep an open mind: Once the framework of a trip is in place, flexibility becomes key to enjoyment. For instance, I’d never usually break stride in the middle of a night-out to sit still in a massage parlour, vitamin water in tow – but I did. Another friend shed her inhibitions about heading to the airport four hours before the return flight when the rest convinced her there was still a 7-Eleven we were yet to raid.
Flexibility, in this case, was directly proportional to enjoyment. Because, at the end of day, as much as I appreciated the scintillating conversation and sardonic humour that made us all friends to start with, my own trip would have been subpar without fortified fluids and multiple massages.
