"BB" Bronwyn Byrnes was selected for the five-minute "newcomer" spot.
"BB" Bronwyn Byrnes was selected for the five-minute "newcomer" spot.

Funny girls: UAE comediennes stand up



Tomorrow, history - or as the comedienne and lead performer of Funny Girls, Mina Liccione, describes it, "her-story" - will be made at the Al Shalal Beach Club on Palm Jumeirah, as Liccione and her international but Dubai-based cohort of comics present the first all-female comedy show in the Middle East. One would be hard pressed to come across five more different women in one comedy troupe. There is Lamya Tawfik, the Egyptian PhD student who is eschewing her thesis to tell jokes; "BB" Bronwyn Byrnes, the blonde Australian air hostess; Sophie Samuelian, the American-Armenian teacher; Sabina Giado, a Sri Lankan communications co-ordinator and Liccione, a vivacious, six-foot-tall Italian-American from New York. The only things that link them are that they all live in Dubai and they all are funny.

"I think here, arts and comedy have grown so much. I am ready to hear the women's voices - and a lot of people are too. I get messages saying that all the time," Liccione says. The rest of the Funny Girls have studied with Liccione in her comedy courses, which she runs at the Dubai Community Theatre and Arts Centre. When Liccione arrived in Dubai in 2008, she knew she wanted to tap into the female talent in the UAE. "I decided I really wanted to train enough women to the point where they were not just good, not just for fun, but to get to the point where they can perform. I wanted to hear a different point of view. I've heard the same Arab-American comedy for 10 years now. I wanted a different voice."

The fact that two of the troupe's members, Giado and Tawfik, wear headscarves will shape but not dominate the humour. And it has already attracted some controversy. During a recent television interview in Lebanon, Tawfik says she was asked by a presenter: "'You are veiled. Aren't veiled women supposed to keep attention away from themselves?' And I said: 'I am not disrespectful of myself or the veil.' One of the things I have always been proud of is that I am able to do almost anything I want to do with the veil on. I don't allow it to limit me.

"My Arabic and my English are the same strength," Tawfik says, "but a lot of the time I think in English and it's a lot easier for me to do stand-up in English than it is in Arabic. Arab-speaking comedians don't really do stand-up." Liccione agrees: "Arab comedy is more about storytelling." Similarly, Giado is aware that her religion marks her out as different in the world of comedy: "I'm very conscious of being a representative, but at the same time, I try not to let it limit me. It's a bit of a fine line."

Giado started performing stand-up as part of her undergraduate degree in Melbourne, Australia. "I had to pass the performance studies course and I didn't know anything except stand-up. I didn't know theatre, so I did stand-up and it went down, like, awesome. It was unbelievable. I never thought of doing stand-up, ever, but it was just so much fun that I kept doing it." Giado later showed her parents the video of her performance. "Their first reaction was shock because usually I am really quiet and soft-spoken in real life. On stage I'm different. I become a lot more comfortable in my skin. I'm just a little more open, expressive in what I think."

The jokes will reflect the social values of the women and UAE society. As Liccione explains: "We all take pride in the fact that as part of my programme, and for these girls as individuals, we do not swear. We don't talk about certain things; we genuinely respect the culture here, and the women have values that are reflected in the comedy. You don't need to swear. You can tell stories. It forces you to be more personal and more creative."

Most of the comediennes are long-term Dubai residents. Tawfik and Giado were born and brought up there, and Byrnes has lived there for 15 years. She puts her love of comedy down to her childhood as the youngest of eight children in Brisbane, where she and her mother would watch the comedian Dave Allen on television. There is a touch of Rita Rudner about Byrnes, who was selected from the students of Liccione's last comedy course to take the five-minute "newcomer" spot at the beginning of tomorrow's show.

The fifth member of the group, Samuelian, has been a drama teacher in an international school in Dubai since 2002, and has done stand-up in the UAE and the US. She caught the comedy bug while participating in an open mic day in Dubai with Ahmed Ahmed and his fellow Arab-American comics during their Axis of Evil tour in 2006. Anyone who thinks an all-female show means relentless jokes about PMT and useless husbands should think again. Liccione says her comedy comes from her loud and funny Italian-American family. "I talk a lot about my dad and my mum, but I like talking about current events or something I just went through. I take notes. I write down funny stories. Art reflects life, so whatever I'm actually experiencing, that's what I'll talk about."

Liccione also works in improvisation and movement at the New York Film Academy in Abu Dhabi. With her business partner and co-producer of Funny Girls, Ali al Sayed, she set up Dubomedy's Monday Night Funnies in Dubai, and launched an Abu Dhabi version last month. Liccione and al Sayed have big plans for the future of comedy in the UAE. As al Sayed explains: "We intend to walk that extra mile. Right now we are doing training, doing small shows and getting the community involved. Once the base is strong enough, we're going to the rest of the Middle East and North Africa."

For al Sayed, an Emirati, the time has come for UAE comedy to stand up and be counted. "I grew up with entertainment being imported. We're trying, hopefully, to export our entertainment internationally." Funny Girls appear at the Gusto Ristorante at the Al Shalal Beach Club on the Palm Jumeirah tomorrow. Doors open at 7.30pm. Entrance is free and a Dh145 barbecue buffet is available. Call 04 430 9466 to reserve a table and 050 440 0994 for more information.

Lexus LX700h specs

Engine: 3.4-litre twin-turbo V6 plus supplementary electric motor

Power: 464hp at 5,200rpm

Torque: 790Nm from 2,000-3,600rpm

Transmission: 10-speed auto

Fuel consumption: 11.7L/100km

On sale: Now

Price: From Dh590,000

Countries offering golden visas

UK
Innovator Founder Visa is aimed at those who can demonstrate relevant experience in business and sufficient investment funds to set up and scale up a new business in the UK. It offers permanent residence after three years.

Germany
Investing or establishing a business in Germany offers you a residence permit, which eventually leads to citizenship. The investment must meet an economic need and you have to have lived in Germany for five years to become a citizen.

Italy
The scheme is designed for foreign investors committed to making a significant contribution to the economy. Requires a minimum investment of €250,000 which can rise to €2 million.

Switzerland
Residence Programme offers residence to applicants and their families through economic contributions. The applicant must agree to pay an annual lump sum in tax.

Canada
Start-Up Visa Programme allows foreign entrepreneurs the opportunity to create a business in Canada and apply for permanent residence. 

Farasan Boat: 128km Away from Anchorage

Director: Mowaffaq Alobaid 

Stars: Abdulaziz Almadhi, Mohammed Al Akkasi, Ali Al Suhaibani

Rating: 4/5

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The specs

Engine: 1.6-litre 4-cyl turbo

Power: 217hp at 5,750rpm

Torque: 300Nm at 1,900rpm

Transmission: eight-speed auto

Price: from Dh130,000

On sale: now

The National's picks

4.35pm: Tilal Al Khalediah
5.10pm: Continous
5.45pm: Raging Torrent
6.20pm: West Acre
7pm: Flood Zone
7.40pm: Straight No Chaser
8.15pm: Romantic Warrior
8.50pm: Calandogan
9.30pm: Forever Young

The 12 Syrian entities delisted by UK 

Ministry of Interior
Ministry of Defence
General Intelligence Directorate
Air Force Intelligence Agency
Political Security Directorate
Syrian National Security Bureau
Military Intelligence Directorate
Army Supply Bureau
General Organisation of Radio and TV
Al Watan newspaper
Cham Press TV
Sama TV

Dubai World Cup Carnival card

6.30pm: Al Maktoum Challenge Round-2 Group 1 (PA) US$75,000 (Dirt) 1,900m

7.05pm: Al Rashidiya Group 2 (TB) $250,000 (Turf) 1,800m

7.40pm: Meydan Cup Listed Handicap (TB) $175,000 (T) 2,810m

8.15pm: Handicap (TB) $175,000 (D) 1,600m

8.50pm: Handicap (TB) $135,000 (T) 1,600m

9.25pm: Al Shindagha Sprint Group 3 (TB) $200,000 (D) 1,200m

10pm: Handicap (TB) $135,000 (T) 2,000m

The National selections:

6.30pm - Ziyadd; 7.05pm - Barney Roy; 7.40pm - Dee Ex Bee; 8.15pm - Dubai Legacy; 8.50pm - Good Fortune; 9.25pm - Drafted; 10pm - Simsir

How to apply for a drone permit
  • Individuals must register on UAE Drone app or website using their UAE Pass
  • Add all their personal details, including name, nationality, passport number, Emiratis ID, email and phone number
  • Upload the training certificate from a centre accredited by the GCAA
  • Submit their request
What are the regulations?
  • Fly it within visual line of sight
  • Never over populated areas
  • Ensure maximum flying height of 400 feet (122 metres) above ground level is not crossed
  • Users must avoid flying over restricted areas listed on the UAE Drone app
  • Only fly the drone during the day, and never at night
  • Should have a live feed of the drone flight
  • Drones must weigh 5 kg or less

8 traditional Jamaican dishes to try at Kingston 21

  1. Trench Town Rock: Jamaican-style curry goat served in a pastry basket with a carrot and potato garnish
  2. Rock Steady Jerk Chicken: chicken marinated for 24 hours and slow-cooked on the grill
  3. Mento Oxtail: flavoured oxtail stewed for five hours with herbs
  4. Ackee and salt fish: the national dish of Jamaica makes for a hearty breakfast
  5. Jamaican porridge: another breakfast favourite, can be made with peanut, cornmeal, banana and plantain
  6. Jamaican beef patty: a pastry with ground beef filling
  7. Hellshire Pon di Beach: Fresh fish with pickles
  8. Out of Many: traditional sweet potato pudding
Key facilities
  • Olympic-size swimming pool with a split bulkhead for multi-use configurations, including water polo and 50m/25m training lanes
  • Premier League-standard football pitch
  • 400m Olympic running track
  • NBA-spec basketball court with auditorium
  • 600-seat auditorium
  • Spaces for historical and cultural exploration
  • An elevated football field that doubles as a helipad
  • Specialist robotics and science laboratories
  • AR and VR-enabled learning centres
  • Disruption Lab and Research Centre for developing entrepreneurial skills
Our family matters legal consultant

Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais

Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.

COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Kumulus Water
 
Started: 2021
 
Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid
 
Based: Tunisia 
 
Sector: Water technology 
 
Number of staff: 22 
 
Investment raised: $4 million 
Another way to earn air miles

In addition to the Emirates and Etihad programmes, there is the Air Miles Middle East card, which offers members the ability to choose any airline, has no black-out dates and no restrictions on seat availability. Air Miles is linked up to HSBC credit cards and can also be earned through retail partners such as Spinneys, Sharaf DG and The Toy Store.

An Emirates Dubai-London round-trip ticket costs 180,000 miles on the Air Miles website. But customers earn these ‘miles’ at a much faster rate than airline miles. Adidas offers two air miles per Dh1 spent. Air Miles has partnerships with websites as well, so booking.com and agoda.com offer three miles per Dh1 spent.

“If you use your HSBC credit card when shopping at our partners, you are able to earn Air Miles twice which will mean you can get that flight reward faster and for less spend,” says Paul Lacey, the managing director for Europe, Middle East and India for Aimia, which owns and operates Air Miles Middle East.

MATCH INFO

Champions League quarter-final, first leg

Ajax v Juventus, Wednesday, 11pm (UAE)

Match on BeIN Sports

Recent winners

2002 Giselle Khoury (Colombia)

2004 Nathalie Nasralla (France)

2005 Catherine Abboud (Oceania)

2007 Grace Bijjani  (Mexico)

2008 Carina El-Keddissi (Brazil)

2009 Sara Mansour (Brazil)

2010 Daniella Rahme (Australia)

2011 Maria Farah (Canada)

2012 Cynthia Moukarzel (Kuwait)

2013 Layla Yarak (Australia)              

2014 Lia Saad  (UAE)

2015 Cynthia Farah (Australia)

2016 Yosmely Massaad (Venezuela)

2017 Dima Safi (Ivory Coast)

2018 Rachel Younan (Australia)

A meeting of young minds

The 3,494 entries for the 2019 Sharjah Children Biennial come from:

435 – UAE

2,000 – China

808 – United Kingdom

165 – Argentina

38 – Lebanon

16 – Saudi Arabia

16 – Bangladesh

6 – Ireland

3 – Egypt

3 – France

2 – Sudan

1 – Kuwait

1 – Australia
 

What is type-1 diabetes

Type 1 diabetes is a genetic and unavoidable condition, rather than the lifestyle-related type 2 diabetes.

It occurs mostly in people under 40 and a result of the pancreas failing to produce enough insulin to regulate blood sugars.

Too much or too little blood sugar can result in an attack where sufferers lose consciousness in serious cases.

Being overweight or obese increases the chances of developing the more common type 2 diabetes.

ICC Women's T20 World Cup Asia Qualifier 2025, Thailand

UAE fixtures
May 9, v Malaysia
May 10, v Qatar
May 13, v Malaysia
May 15, v Qatar
May 18 and 19, semi-finals
May 20, final

Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.

Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.

Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.

Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.

“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.

Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.

From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.

Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.

BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.

Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.

Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.

“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.

Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.

“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.

“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”

The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”

Skewed figures

In the village of Mevagissey in southwest England the housing stock has doubled in the last century while the number of residents is half the historic high. The village's Neighbourhood Development Plan states that 26% of homes are holiday retreats. Prices are high, averaging around £300,000, £50,000 more than the Cornish average of £250,000. The local average wage is £15,458. 

Meydan racecard:

6.30pm: Handicap | US$135,000 (Dirt) | 1,400 metres

7.05pm: Handicap | $135,000 (Turf) | 1,200m

7.40pm: Dubai Millennium Stakes | Group 3 | $200,000 (T) | 2,000m

8.15pm: UAE Oaks | Group 3 | $250,000 (D) | 1,900m

8.50pm: Zabeel Mile | Group 2 | $250,000 (T) | 1,600m

9.20pm: Handicap | $135,000 (T) | 1,600m

The specs: 2018 Nissan Altima


Price, base / as tested: Dh78,000 / Dh97,650

Engine: 2.5-litre in-line four-cylinder

Power: 182hp @ 6,000rpm

Torque: 244Nm @ 4,000rpm

Transmission: Continuously variable tranmission

Fuel consumption, combined: 7.6L / 100km

 

Rock in a Hard Place: Music and Mayhem in the Middle East
Orlando Crowcroft
Zed Books

Adele: The Stories Behind The Songs
Caroline Sullivan
Carlton Books