Author and Comic Writer, Simon Rich.

Photo Courtesy Serpentstail Publishing
Simon Rich believes that a simple plot allows the author to digress and frees the reader's brain to 'travel to all those wierdo places'.

Elliot Allagash – a rich comic novel



The café at the London Review Bookshop in the city's Bloomsbury district is the perfect place to meet the humorist (he would approve of the word) Simon Rich. It's a "proper", old-fashioned bookshop where stock is carefully chosen by humans, then sold without the heavy discounting book-buyers have come to expect these days.

Rich, who is perilously thin and wears his thick hair in a Beatles-style mop, knows that where we're sitting is too chi-chi to be anything like an accurate reflection of The World Out There, and understands that "if someone is reading your work in the 21st century, it's really an incredible miracle. There are so many other books; so many other activities". But he'd rather things were different. Not because he's a snob, but because he's drawn as a writer to outmoded literary forms: the "humour piece" and the comic novel.

This may surprise anyone whose knowledge of the 26-year-old New Yorker is limited to the fact that he writes for Saturday Night Live, America's longest-running satirical television show. (He's the youngest writer to have worked on its scripts.) But you can be a hip young gunslinger and a throwback at the same time. "Being an old-fashioned comic novelist is sort of like making top hats or monocles," he admits. "But I can't help it! These are the books I grew up loving. I always wanted to write one."

And so he has. Set in a present-day Manhattan private school, Elliot Allagash is a horribly funny coming-of-age novel about a lonely misfit named Seymour, who becomes the willing pawn of a delinquent classmate: Elliot, the son of America's richest man. Inspired by his father, a paper tycoon who buys brilliant art so that he can have the pleasure of destroying it before anyone else has had a chance to look at it, Elliot likes to use his fortune to implement cruel, manipulative schemes. Mostly, his motive is revenge. But in Seymour's case, it's pure amusement. Can Elliot transform Seymour into the most popular boy in the school? And what will happen when he does?

The plot is nothing special: in outline it suggests Amy Heckerling's film Clueless, itself an updated version of Jane Austen's Emma. But what sets Elliot Allagash apart is the antiquity of its comic brio: you sense at once that it's the work of someone who grew up snorting over Evelyn Waugh.

"It's shamelessly ripped off from all the writers I love," says Rich, "and those are people like Waugh, PG Wodehouse, Roald Dahl, Douglas Adams. Also Terry Southern [author of The Magic Christian and Stanley Kubrick's main collaborator on Dr Strangelove], who wasn't English but wrote in a very English idiom.

"Like them, I like to write premises, and the thing about a premise is there's only so much comedy you can milk out of it. So to write a successful comic novel, you need a character or situation that allows you to pack in a ton of unrelated premises, otherwise you'll end up with a bloated, one-premise book. Novels like Catch 22 and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy were set in the army and in space so that Joseph Heller and Douglas Adams could digress - which they needed to do to keep the reader's attention.

"In terms of the plot itself, I just went to all those great genie stories - everything from My Fair Lady to Dr Faustus. What happens when you find the lamp? You hope you wish for the right things, but invariably you don't.

"Simple plots are good. If you read Candide, there's no plot. Well, there is, but it's minimal. If the plot is too complicated, the reader's brain has to focus on understanding it rather than being free to travel to all these weirdo places."

Elliot's catchphrase in the novel is "No interruptions". (It usually precedes a long, self-aggrandising anecdote.) Rich says this has always been his motto as a writer. "A great piece of advice that one writer gave me at college was 'Skip the boring parts'."

That's great, I say. But how do you know where the boring parts are? If writers knew when they were being boring and could act on this knowledge, the history of literature would look very different. There'd be no Tristram Shandy, no Piers Plowman.

"I think, in my case, it comes from being a graphomaniac, from just throwing so much stuff against the wall," says Rich. "I churn out a shocking number of horrible things, then I go back and hope that one or two will be salvageable. None of my work is particularly precious to me."

He's temperamentally well-suited to writing TV comedy, then.

"Yeah, it's perfect. And I come from a magazine world where you throw it all out there and wait for the rejection slips to come back. If even one scores, then you feel you've had a good week."

Now, this is where some critics raise their eyebrows. Rich is undoubtedly a comic wunderkind whose talent cup runneth over. But how many rejection slips has he actually received in his life? How many 26-year-olds whose fathers are not the veteran New York Times columnist and former "butcher of Broadway" Frank Rich get to contribute offbeat, elliptical "humour pieces" to The New Yorker? Not many. But then you can turn that around and ask how many 26-year-olds are writing offbeat, elliptical humour in the first place. Even fewer - and I'd guess none of them is as good as anything in Rich's two previous books, the collections Free-Range Chickens and Ant Farm.

Rich grew up on 15th Street and 1st Avenue in the middle of Manhattan. "I was a fearful kid," he recalls, "always convinced a murderer was going to escape from prison, climb up to our apartment and destroy us." At school, he was "a pretty typical nerd, constantly reading and writing, failing with girls, starting humour magazines for me and my friends that nobody would ever read".

At Harvard, he became the president of the university's satirical magazine, the Harvard Lampoon: "All my friends were doing noble things like learning how to be doctors and I was in a basement arguing about the merits of the Benny Hill Show and writing thousands of jokes a day."

Didn't he have to break off occasionally to do some work?

"Harvard was a pretty non-academic experience for me. The classes I took tended to be electives on subjects I was really interested in, like mediaeval culture, religion, primates and insanity throughout history. [Deadpan face] I think these things really inform my writing."

The film rights to Elliot Allagash have been bought by Jason Reitman (Up in the Air, Juno). Rich has just turned in the screenplay, "so we'll see if they like it". He had to change a lot, but didn't mind: "I wrote it a long time ago and the distance felt wide enough... not that it was as if I hadn't written it, but I didn't shed a tear at having to rip it apart." He smiles. "It was great to be able to spend time with Elliot again."

'Cheb Khaled'

Artist: Khaled
Label: Believe
Rating: 4/5

LIVING IN...

This article is part of a guide on where to live in the UAE. Our reporters will profile some of the country’s most desirable districts, provide an estimate of rental prices and introduce you to some of the residents who call each area home.

Haircare resolutions 2021

From Beirut and Amman to London and now Dubai, hairstylist George Massoud has seen the same mistakes made by customers all over the world. In the chair or at-home hair care, here are the resolutions he wishes his customers would make for the year ahead.

1. 'I will seek consultation from professionals'

You may know what you want, but are you sure it’s going to suit you? Haircare professionals can tell you what will work best with your skin tone, hair texture and lifestyle.

2. 'I will tell my hairdresser when I’m not happy'

Massoud says it’s better to offer constructive criticism to work on in the future. Your hairdresser will learn, and you may discover how to communicate exactly what you want more effectively the next time.

3. ‘I will treat my hair better out of the chair’

Damage control is a big part of most hairstylists’ work right now, but it can be avoided. Steer clear of over-colouring at home, try and pursue one hair brand at a time and never, ever use a straightener on still drying hair, pleads Massoud.

TWISTERS

Director: Lee Isaac Chung

Starring: Glenn Powell, Daisy Edgar-Jones, Anthony Ramos

Rating: 2.5/5

The five pillars of Islam
Specs: 2024 McLaren Artura Spider

Engine: 3.0-litre twin-turbo V6 and electric motor
Max power: 700hp at 7,500rpm
Max torque: 720Nm at 2,250rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed dual-clutch auto
0-100km/h: 3.0sec
Top speed: 330kph
Price: From Dh1.14 million ($311,000)
On sale: Now

Zodi & Tehu: Princes Of The Desert

Director: Eric Barbier

Starring: Youssef Hajdi, Nadia Benzakour, Yasser Drief

Rating: 4/5

RESULTS

5pm: Handicap (TB) Dh100,000, 2,400m
Winner: Recordman, Richard Mullen (jockey), Satish Seemar (trainer)

5.30pm: Wathba Stallions Cup Handicap (PA) Dh 70,000, 2,200m​​​​​​​
Winner: AF Taraha, Tadhg O’Shea, Ernst Oertel

6pm: Abu Dhabi Fillies Classic Prestige (PA) Dh110,000, 1,400m​​​​​​​
Winner: Dhafra, Fabrice Veron, Eric Lemartinel

6.30pm: Abu Dhabi Colts Classic Prestige (PA) Dh110,000, 1,400m​​​​​​​
Winner: Maqam, Fabrice Veron, Eric Lemartinel

7pm: Handicap (PA) Dh85,000, 1,600m​​​​​​​
Winner: AF Momtaz, Fernando Jara, Musabah Al Muhairi

7.30pm: Maiden (PA) Dh80,000, 1,600m​​​​​​​
Winner: Optimizm, Patrick Cosgrave, Abdallah Al Hammadi

UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
The specs

Engine: 3.8-litre, twin-turbo V8

Transmission: eight-speed automatic

Power: 582bhp

Torque: 730Nm

Price: Dh649,000

On sale: now 

Important questions to consider

1. Where on the plane does my pet travel?

There are different types of travel available for pets:

  • Manifest cargo
  • Excess luggage in the hold
  • Excess luggage in the cabin

Each option is safe. The feasibility of each option is based on the size and breed of your pet, the airline they are traveling on and country they are travelling to.

 

2. What is the difference between my pet traveling as manifest cargo or as excess luggage?

If traveling as manifest cargo, your pet is traveling in the front hold of the plane and can travel with or without you being on the same plane. The cost of your pets travel is based on volumetric weight, in other words, the size of their travel crate.

If traveling as excess luggage, your pet will be in the rear hold of the plane and must be traveling under the ticket of a human passenger. The cost of your pets travel is based on the actual (combined) weight of your pet in their crate.

 

3. What happens when my pet arrives in the country they are traveling to?

As soon as the flight arrives, your pet will be taken from the plane straight to the airport terminal.

If your pet is traveling as excess luggage, they will taken to the oversized luggage area in the arrival hall. Once you clear passport control, you will be able to collect them at the same time as your normal luggage. As you exit the airport via the ‘something to declare’ customs channel you will be asked to present your pets travel paperwork to the customs official and / or the vet on duty. 

If your pet is traveling as manifest cargo, they will be taken to the Animal Reception Centre. There, their documentation will be reviewed by the staff of the ARC to ensure all is in order. At the same time, relevant customs formalities will be completed by staff based at the arriving airport. 

 

4. How long does the travel paperwork and other travel preparations take?

This depends entirely on the location that your pet is traveling to. Your pet relocation compnay will provide you with an accurate timeline of how long the relevant preparations will take and at what point in the process the various steps must be taken.

In some cases they can get your pet ‘travel ready’ in a few days. In others it can be up to six months or more.

 

5. What vaccinations does my pet need to travel?

Regardless of where your pet is traveling, they will need certain vaccinations. The exact vaccinations they need are entirely dependent on the location they are traveling to. The one vaccination that is mandatory for every country your pet may travel to is a rabies vaccination.

Other vaccinations may also be necessary. These will be advised to you as relevant. In every situation, it is essential to keep your vaccinations current and to not miss a due date, even by one day. To do so could severely hinder your pets travel plans.

Source: Pawsome Pets UAE

EMIRATES'S REVISED A350 DEPLOYMENT SCHEDULE

Edinburgh: November 4 (unchanged)

Bahrain: November 15 (from September 15); second daily service from January 1

Kuwait: November 15 (from September 16)

Mumbai: January 1 (from October 27)

Ahmedabad: January 1 (from October 27)

Colombo: January 2 (from January 1)

Muscat: March 1 (from December 1)

Lyon: March 1 (from December 1)

Bologna: March 1 (from December 1)

Source: Emirates

'The Lost Daughter'

Director: Maggie Gyllenhaal

Starring: Olivia Colman, Jessie Buckley, Dakota Johnson

Rating: 4/5

Politics in the West
The burning issue

The internal combustion engine is facing a watershed moment – major manufacturer Volvo is to stop producing petroleum-powered vehicles by 2021 and countries in Europe, including the UK, have vowed to ban their sale before 2040. The National takes a look at the story of one of the most successful technologies of the last 100 years and how it has impacted life in the UAE.

Part three: an affection for classic cars lives on

Read part two: how climate change drove the race for an alternative 

Read part one: how cars came to the UAE

Voy! Voy! Voy!

Director: Omar Hilal
Stars: Muhammad Farrag, Bayoumi Fouad, Nelly Karim
Rating: 4/5

The Africa Institute 101

Housed on the same site as the original Africa Hall, which first hosted an Arab-African Symposium in 1976, the newly renovated building will be home to a think tank and postgraduate studies hub (it will offer master’s and PhD programmes). The centre will focus on both the historical and contemporary links between Africa and the Gulf, and will serve as a meeting place for conferences, symposia, lectures, film screenings, plays, musical performances and more. In fact, today it is hosting a symposium – 5-plus-1: Rethinking Abstraction that will look at the six decades of Frank Bowling’s career, as well as those of his contemporaries that invested social, cultural and personal meaning into abstraction. 

'Worse than a prison sentence'

Marie Byrne, a counsellor who volunteers at the UAE government's mental health crisis helpline, said the ordeal the crew had been through would take time to overcome.

“It was worse than a prison sentence, where at least someone can deal with a set amount of time incarcerated," she said.

“They were living in perpetual mystery as to how their futures would pan out, and what that would be.

“Because of coronavirus, the world is very different now to the one they left, that will also have an impact.

“It will not fully register until they are on dry land. Some have not seen their young children grow up while others will have to rebuild relationships.

“It will be a challenge mentally, and to find other work to support their families as they have been out of circulation for so long. Hopefully they will get the care they need when they get home.”

ESSENTIALS

The flights 
Fly Etihad or Emirates from the UAE to Moscow from 2,763 return per person return including taxes. 
Where to stay 
Trips on the Golden Eagle Trans-Siberian cost from US$16,995 (Dh62,414) per person, based on two sharing.

Bournemouth 0

Manchester United 2
Smalling (28'), Lukaku (70')

A QUIET PLACE

Starring: Lupita Nyong'o, Joseph Quinn, Djimon Hounsou

Director: Michael Sarnoski

Rating: 4/5

Dengue fever symptoms

High fever (40°C/104°F)
Severe headache
Pain behind the eyes
Muscle and joint pains
Nausea
Vomiting
Swollen glands
Rash

TEACHERS' PAY - WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

Pay varies significantly depending on the school, its rating and the curriculum. Here's a rough guide as of January 2021:

- top end schools tend to pay Dh16,000-17,000 a month - plus a monthly housing allowance of up to Dh6,000. These tend to be British curriculum schools rated 'outstanding' or 'very good', followed by American schools

- average salary across curriculums and skill levels is about Dh10,000, recruiters say

- it is becoming more common for schools to provide accommodation, sometimes in an apartment block with other teachers, rather than hand teachers a cash housing allowance

- some strong performing schools have cut back on salaries since the pandemic began, sometimes offering Dh16,000 including the housing allowance, which reflects the slump in rental costs, and sheer demand for jobs

- maths and science teachers are most in demand and some schools will pay up to Dh3,000 more than other teachers in recognition of their technical skills

- at the other end of the market, teachers in some Indian schools, where fees are lower and competition among applicants is intense, can be paid as low as Dh3,000 per month

- in Indian schools, it has also become common for teachers to share residential accommodation, living in a block with colleagues

The end of Summer

Author: Salha Al Busaidy

Pages: 316

Publisher: The Dreamwork Collective 


The Arts Edit

A guide to arts and culture, from a Middle Eastern perspective

      By signing up, I agree to The National's privacy policy
      The Arts Edit