In his debut book, Sahil Rizwan wittily picks apart Bollywood films of the 1990s - ones he grew up watching. Courtesy HarperCollins Publishers India
In his debut book, Sahil Rizwan wittily picks apart Bollywood films of the 1990s - ones he grew up watching. Courtesy HarperCollins Publishers India
In his debut book, Sahil Rizwan wittily picks apart Bollywood films of the 1990s - ones he grew up watching. Courtesy HarperCollins Publishers India
In his debut book, Sahil Rizwan wittily picks apart Bollywood films of the 1990s - ones he grew up watching. Courtesy HarperCollins Publishers India

Book review: 42 Things I Learnt from Bollywood


  • English
  • Arabic

42 Things I Learnt from Bollywood

Sahil Rizwan

HarperCollins India

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Sahil Rizwan's 42 Things I Learnt from Bollywood will give fans of the author – already internet-famous for his comic-­strip film reviews published under the name The Vigil Idiot – hours of reading pleasure: imagine page upon page populated with stick figures, all spouting funny aphorisms.

In his debut book, Rizwan tears with relish into the Bollywood films of the 1990s – the ones he “grew up watching”.

Each chapter is a trip down memory lane, taking readers into an era when Rahul Roy was the country’s biggest superstar, when kids hankered to watch Small Wonder on television and ate orange ice lollies sold by ice-cream vendors outside their school gates.

But that is where the nostalgia ends. What follows are scathing comic strips in which Rizwan rips apart the best and worst of the decade's films in the most unapologetic way. Nothing is spared, from blockbusters such as Salman Khan's Hum Aapke Hain Kaun...! to the box-office dud Kareeb, starring Bobby Deol.

Each movie is carefully chosen and mined for its illogical plot twists, then neatly summed up with a lesson (there are 42) such as: if you love something, set it free. But if you want it to come back, better make sure to exchange contact details first (the verdict on the 1999 Aamir Khan-Manisha Koirala drama Mann).

Among the hundreds of Bollywood film reviews in the print and digital world, Rizwan's stand out for the stick-figure illustrations and their speech bubbles. Rani Mukerji in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, drawn with wings and a halo, tells her daughter: "Just help your sad panda father out, will ya"; while in Hum Aapke Hain Kaun...!, Salman Khan mutters: "Maybe if she didn't wear flowing designer saris..." when his brother's wife falls down a flight of stairs.

The book could have done with a little less colourful language, yet The Vigil Idiot’s diehard fan base is sure to lap it up. Refreshingly, there’s also a lot of celebrity bashing, which adds to the fun.

But in the end, Rizwan also confesses to being Bollywood’s biggest fan and says he would never want it to change its ways. We like that.

artslife@thenational.ae

How to protect yourself when air quality drops

Install an air filter in your home.

Close your windows and turn on the AC.

Shower or bath after being outside.

Wear a face mask.

Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.

If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.

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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
WEST ASIA RUGBY 2017/18 SEASON ROLL OF HONOUR

Western Clubs Champions League
Winners: Abu Dhabi Harlequins
Runners up: Bahrain

Dubai Rugby Sevens
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Runners up: Jebel Ali Dragons

West Asia Premiership
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UAE Premiership
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Miguel Cotto world titles:

WBO Light Welterweight champion - 2004-06
WBA Welterweight champion – 2006-08
WBO Welterweight champion – Feb 2009-Nov 2009
WBA Light Middleweight champion – 2010-12
WBC Middleweight champion – 2014-15
WBO Light Middleweight champion – Aug 2017-Dec 2017

Red flags
  • Promises of high, fixed or 'guaranteed' returns.
  • Unregulated structured products or complex investments often used to bypass traditional safeguards.
  • Lack of clear information, vague language, no access to audited financials.
  • Overseas companies targeting investors in other jurisdictions - this can make legal recovery difficult.
  • Hard-selling tactics - creating urgency, offering 'exclusive' deals.

Courtesy: Carol Glynn, founder of Conscious Finance Coaching

The biogs

Name: Zinah Madi

Occupation: Co-founder of Dots and links

Nationality: Syrian

Family: Married, Mother of Tala, 18, Sharif, 14, Kareem, 2

Favourite Quote: “There is only one way to succeed in anything, and that is to give it everything.”

 

Name: Razan Nabulsi

Occupation: Co-founder of Dots and Links

Nationality: Jordanian

Family: Married, Mother of Yahya, 3.5

Favourite Quote: A Chinese proverb that says: “Be not afraid of moving slowly, be afraid only of standing still.”

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Jebel Ali results

2pm: Handicap (PA) Dh 50,000 (Dirt) 1,400m

Winner: AF Al Moreeb, Antonio Fresu (jockey), Ernst Oertel (trainer)

2.30pm: Maiden (TB) Dh 60,000 (D) 1,400m

Winner: Shamikh, Ryan Curatolo, Nicholas Bachalard

3pm: Handicap (TB) Dh 64,000 (D) 1,600m

Winner: One Vision, Connor Beasley, Ali Rashid Al Raihe

3.30pm: Conditions (TB) Dh 100,000 (D) 1,600m

Winner: Gabr, Sam Hitchcott, Doug Watson

4pm: Handicap (TB) Dh 96,000 (D) 1,800m

Winner: Just A Penny, Sam Hitchcock, Doug Watson

4.30pm: Maiden (TB) Dh 60,000 (D) 1,600m

Winner: Torno Subito, Sam Hitchcock, Doug Watson

5pm: Handicap (TB) Dh 76,000 (D) 1,950m

Winner: Untold Secret, Jose Santiago, Salem bin Ghadayer

Living in...

This article is part of a guide on where to live in the UAE. Our reporters will profile some of the country’s most desirable districts, provide an estimate of rental prices and introduce you to some of the residents who call each area home.

If you go

The flights
Etihad (etihad.com) flies from Abu Dhabi to Luang Prabang via Bangkok, with a return flight from Chiang Rai via Bangkok for about Dh3,000, including taxes. Emirates and Thai Airways cover the same route, also via Bangkok in both directions, from about Dh2,700.
The cruise
The Gypsy by Mekong Kingdoms has two cruising options: a three-night, four-day trip upstream cruise or a two-night, three-day downstream journey, from US$5,940 (Dh21,814), including meals, selected drinks, excursions and transfers.
The hotels
Accommodation is available in Luang Prabang at the Avani, from $290 (Dh1,065) per night, and at Anantara Golden Triangle Elephant Camp and Resort from $1,080 (Dh3,967) per night, including meals, an activity and transfers.

Punchy appearance

Roars of support buoyed Mr Johnson in an extremely confident and combative appearance

The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cyl turbo

Power: 201hp at 5,200rpm

Torque: 320Nm at 1,750-4,000rpm

Transmission: 6-speed auto

Fuel consumption: 8.7L/100km

Price: Dh133,900

On sale: now 

The specs
Engine: 77.4kW all-wheel-drive dual motor
Power: 320bhp
Torque: 605Nm
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Price: From Dh219,000
On sale: Now
Our legal columnist

Name: Yousef Al Bahar

Advocate at Al Bahar & Associate Advocates and Legal Consultants, established in 1994

Education: Mr Al Bahar was born in 1979 and graduated in 2008 from the Judicial Institute. He took after his father, who was one of the first Emirati lawyers

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The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre 6-cyl turbo

Power: 374hp at 5,500-6,500rpm

Torque: 500Nm from 1,900-5,000rpm

Transmission: 8-speed auto

Fuel consumption: 8.5L/100km

Price: from Dh285,000

On sale: from January 2022 

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Director: Siva
Stars: Suriya, Bobby Deol, Disha Patani, Yogi Babu, Redin Kingsley
Rating: 2/5
 
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The specs

A4 35 TFSI

Engine: 2.0-litre, four-cylinder

Transmission: seven-speed S-tronic automatic

Power: 150bhp

Torque: 270Nm

Price: Dh150,000 (estimate)

On sale: First Q 2020

A4 S4 TDI

Engine: 3.0-litre V6 turbo diesel

Transmission: eight-speed PDK automatic

Power: 350bhp

Torque: 700Nm

Price: Dh165,000 (estimate)

On sale: First Q 2020