If Borussia Monchengladbach go to Madrid as buoyant as they were in Kiev five weeks ago, it should be decided fairly quickly.
That evening the German club were 4-0 up against Shakhtar Donetsk by half-time. If Shakhtar, who really are the Jekyll and Hyde of this season’s Champions League, blitz Inter Milan as they blitzed Real Madrid back in October – 3-0 at the break – everybody can finally stop biting their nails.
Club football’s premier competition is sometimes thought dull and stagnant through its autumn months, because of a group phase which takes too many games to filter out the good from the ordinary.
Uefa, the designers of the system, are working on reforming it. They may want to look at whatever weird ingredient was slipped into the mix of this season’s Group B.
After five rounds, any two of the four contestants can still go through to the last 16, which is a welcome straw to clasp at for the clubs currently sitting third and fourth. They were widely expected to finish first and second. They are Madrid and Inter. Both are playing last-gasp catch-up on a rollercoaster that has defied all forecasts.
In all three opening matchdays, points were grasped and lost with goals scored in the last 10 minutes; Monchengladbach averaged a goal every 18 minutes in their two matches against Shakhtar.
Yet in Milan on Wednesday night, Shakhtar could conceivably take their place in the knockouts with only a draw against Inter, a club who have a fair idea of how hot and cold the Ukrainians blow.
In August, they met in a Europa League semi-final, and Inter won 5-0. In October, Shakhtar cemented their place at the top of barmy, bewildering Group B by holding the Inter of Romelu Lukaku and Lautaro Martinez to 0-0 thanks to a 19-year-old goalkeeper, Anatoliy Trubin, promoted from third-choice to first because a Covid-19 crisis had ruled out other keepers.
Beat Inter on Wednesday evening and Trubin’s troops would finish top if a Shakhtar win combines with Monchengladbach taking fewer than three points from their trip to the Spanish capital.
The complex arithmetic exerts greater pressure on the so-called ‘giants’ of La Liga and Serie A. Madrid can still guarantee progress if they win, but in a group where the leaders, Monchengladbach, are just three points ahead of Inter at the bottom, it will be a night when coaching staff in Milan and Madrid are constantly tuned to events elsewhere.
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Gallery: Shakhtar Donetsk 2 Real Madrid 0
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Having collected only one point from their first two games, Madrid have been mostly on the back foot. Their manager, Zinedine Zidane, has called every game since "a final"; the back-to-back "finals" against Inter launched Madrid's recovery, with a 2-0 win in Milan and a 3-2 victory at home. Then came Kiev: Shakhtar 2, Real Madrid 0, the Ukrainians' second victory over the Spanish champions.
The Real midfielder Casemiro spoke on Tuesday,and peppered almost every phrase with the word "final". “Everyone in the dressing-room and in the club knows this is a final,” he said of the visit of Monchengladbach, “and at this club, we win finals.” Under Zidane, Madrid have played in nine finals, taking in European and Spanish Super Cups, and won all of them.
That includes three successive Champions League finals, up to 2018. Madrid were the original governors of the European Cup and they have mastered its modern version, the Champions League, like nobody else. Should they not climb out of third place tonight, they will make unwanted history. Madrid have never been eliminated in a group phase.
Monchengladbach, by contrast, have never progressed beyond a Champions League group. “This is not a ‘small’ team, they are the group leaders,” said Casemiro of the free-scoring Germans, “but it is in our hands to go through.”
That message was heard loud and clear in Milan, where Inter manager Antonio Conte needs not only a win against Shakhtar but a positive result, either way, in Madrid.
News of Real-Borussia drawing would extinguish Inter’s morale. “We can’t think about what’s happening in the other game,” said Conte, warning his players against imagining that Monchengladbach and Madrid might settle for a convenient stalemate if they know Inter are well ahead in the later stages of the evening.
But every actor in the drama that is Group B should know by now that nothing can be stage-managed or second-guessed. “A week ago, we were dead and buried,” said Conte, “and now we can glimpse a shaft of light.”
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Gallery: Real Madrid 3 Inter Milan 2
Who are the Sacklers?
The Sackler family is a transatlantic dynasty that owns Purdue Pharma, which manufactures and markets OxyContin, one of the drugs at the centre of America's opioids crisis. The family is well known for their generous philanthropy towards the world's top cultural institutions, including Guggenheim Museum, the National Portrait Gallery, Tate in Britain, Yale University and the Serpentine Gallery, to name a few. Two branches of the family control Purdue Pharma.
Isaac Sackler and Sophie Greenberg were Jewish immigrants who arrived in New York before the First World War. They had three sons. The first, Arthur, died before OxyContin was invented. The second, Mortimer, who died aged 93 in 2010, was a former chief executive of Purdue Pharma. The third, Raymond, died aged 97 in 2017 and was also a former chief executive of Purdue Pharma.
It was Arthur, a psychiatrist and pharmaceutical marketeer, who started the family business dynasty. He and his brothers bought a small company called Purdue Frederick; among their first products were laxatives and prescription earwax remover.
Arthur's branch of the family has not been involved in Purdue for many years and his daughter, Elizabeth, has spoken out against it, saying the company's role in America's drugs crisis is "morally abhorrent".
The lawsuits that were brought by the attorneys general of New York and Massachussetts named eight Sacklers. This includes Kathe, Mortimer, Richard, Jonathan and Ilene Sackler Lefcourt, who are all the children of either Mortimer or Raymond. Then there's Theresa Sackler, who is Mortimer senior's widow; Beverly, Raymond's widow; and David Sackler, Raymond's grandson.
Members of the Sackler family are rarely seen in public.
SERIE A FIXTURES
Friday Sassuolo v Torino (Kick-off 10.45pm UAE)
Saturday Atalanta v Sampdoria (5pm),
Genoa v Inter Milan (8pm),
Lazio v Bologna (10.45pm)
Sunday Cagliari v Crotone (3.30pm)
Benevento v Napoli (6pm)
Parma v Spezia (6pm)
Fiorentina v Udinese (9pm)
Juventus v Hellas Verona (11.45pm)
Monday AC Milan v AS Roma (11.45pm)
No more lice
Defining head lice
Pediculus humanus capitis are tiny wingless insects that feed on blood from the human scalp. The adult head louse is up to 3mm long, has six legs, and is tan to greyish-white in colour. The female lives up to four weeks and, once mature, can lay up to 10 eggs per day. These tiny nits firmly attach to the base of the hair shaft, get incubated by body heat and hatch in eight days or so.
Identifying lice
Lice can be identified by itching or a tickling sensation of something moving within the hair. One can confirm that a person has lice by looking closely through the hair and scalp for nits, nymphs or lice. Head lice are most frequently located behind the ears and near the neckline.
Treating lice at home
Head lice must be treated as soon as they are spotted. Start by checking everyone in the family for them, then follow these steps. Remove and wash all clothing and bedding with hot water. Apply medicine according to the label instructions. If some live lice are still found eight to 12 hours after treatment, but are moving more slowly than before, do not re-treat. Comb dead and remaining live lice out of the hair using a fine-toothed comb.
After the initial treatment, check for, comb and remove nits and lice from hair every two to three days. Soak combs and brushes in hot water for 10 minutes.Vacuum the floor and furniture, particularly where the infested person sat or lay.
Courtesy Dr Vishal Rajmal Mehta, specialist paediatrics, RAK Hospital
Essentials
The flights
Return flights from Dubai to Windhoek, with a combination of Emirates and Air Namibia, cost from US$790 (Dh2,902) via Johannesburg.
The trip
A 10-day self-drive in Namibia staying at a combination of the safari camps mentioned – Okonjima AfriCat, Little Kulala, Desert Rhino/Damaraland, Ongava – costs from $7,000 (Dh25,711) per person, including car hire (Toyota 4x4 or similar), but excluding international flights, with The Luxury Safari Company.
When to go
The cooler winter months, from June to September, are best, especially for game viewing.
The specs: 2018 Nissan 370Z Nismo
The specs: 2018 Nissan 370Z Nismo
Price, base / as tested: Dh182,178
Engine: 3.7-litre V6
Power: 350hp @ 7,400rpm
Torque: 374Nm @ 5,200rpm
Transmission: Seven-speed automatic
Fuel consumption, combined: 10.5L / 100km
The biog
Favourite films: Casablanca and Lawrence of Arabia
Favourite books: Start with Why by Simon Sinek and Good to be Great by Jim Collins
Favourite dish: Grilled fish
Inspiration: Sheikh Zayed's visionary leadership taught me to embrace new challenges.
