Thomas Watkins is Washington bureau chief at The National
August 03, 2023
Pee-wee Herman, the bow tie-wearing man child created by comic icon Paul Reubens, delighted in silly catchphrases including his most famous retort: “I know you are, but what am I?”
Mr Reubens, who died this week, would perhaps have been surprised to see his nonsensical comeback become the cornerstone of Donald Trump's defence following his latest criminal indictment.
The former US president will on Thursday be arraigned in Washington on federal charges of trying to overturn the 2020 presidential election and of sowing the seeds of insurrection by pushing lies about having won, when in real life Democrat Joe Biden trounced him by securing seven million more votes.
For anyone who cares to read it – and didn't already know – the 45-page indictment lays bare Mr Trump's desperate attempts to cling to power and his determination to shred the US Constitution to achieve his goal.
Special counsel Jack Smith and his team of federal prosecutors have accused Mr Trump of repeatedly lying about the election results and engaging in a conspiracy to “disenfranchise millions of voters” by installing puppet representatives to support his bogus election claims in Congress. Many of those fake electors are also charged with felonies.
Mr Trump's response, and that of his Republican Party, to the new accusations of election interference has been to mount a Pee-wee Herman-esque defence: I know you are, but what am I?
On his Truth Social platform, Mr Trump accused prosecutors of “election interference”, arguing that Mr Smith and the Department of Justice had only filed charges in a bid to derail his campaign to reclaim the White House in 2024.
It's classic Trump, who responds to criticism and lawsuits by throwing accusations back at his accusers.
Why did prosecutors “wait two and a half years to bring these fake charges, right in the middle of President Trump’s winning campaign for 2024?” the Trump campaign said in a statement.
“The answer is, election interference! The lawlessness of these persecutions of President Trump and his supporters is reminiscent of Nazi Germany in the 1930s, the former Soviet Union, and other authoritarian, dictatorial regimes.”
If irony isn't dead already, it's definitely in intensive care.
Here is the man who has repeatedly bragged of his contempt for US democracy, saying in 2016 that he would gladly accept the election results “if I win”.
He lied repeatedly after his humiliating defeat to Mr Biden and tried to overturn the results on January 6 by telling his enraged supporters to “fight like hell” and trying to strong-arm his vice president, Mike Pence, into refusing to certify the election results in Congress.
Mr Pence, who is also running for president, ultimately refused the order, causing the pro-Trump mob to call for his public execution by erecting a gallows outside the Capitol and braying for him to be hanged.
Following Tuesday's indictment against his former boss, Mr Pence finally found the courage to speak out.
“Today’s indictment serves as an important reminder: Anyone who puts himself over the Constitution should never be President of the United States,” he said in a statement.
“Our country is more important than one man. Our Constitution is more important than any one man’s career.”
But such criticism from a Republican is rare these days, and the conservative establishment has largely moved as a bloc to regurgitate Mr Trump's claims that the three (at last count) indictments he faces are all political hit jobs.
His talking points are being repeated verbatim on Fox News and other right-wing media, and most of Mr Trump's rivals to seek the Republican Party nomination are too afraid of his base to criticise him.
Republicans' blind loyalty to Mr Trump even as the probability of him going to prison mounts reminds me of another of Pee-wee Herman's classic lines: “If you love (insert random object here) so much, why don't you marry it?”
In one episode of Pee-wee’s Playhouse, he married a bowl of fruit salad.
Donald Trump, the president at the time, speaks during a rally protesting the electoral college certification of Joe Biden as president in Washington on January 6, 2021. AP
A mob loyal to Mr Trump tries to break through a police barrier at the Capitol. AP
The mob waves pro-Trump flags in front of the Capitol building. AP
Riot police push back a crowd of rioters at the Capitol building. AFP
Trump supporters clash with police and security forces as people try to storm the US Capitol building. AFP
Insurrectionists loyal to Mr Trump try to open a door of the US Capitol building as they riot in Washington. AP
US Capitol Police push back rioters trying to enter the US Capitol. AP
Police and rioters confront each other in the Rotunda of the Capitol. US Capitol Police via AP
Smoke fills the hallway outside the Senate chamber of the Capitol. AP
Insurrectionists loyal to Mr Trump breach the Capitol in Washington. AP
Trump supporters, including Doug Jensen, centre, confront US Capitol Police in the hallway outside the Senate chamber at the Capitol. AP
Newly installed razor wire tops the fence surrounding the US Capitol following the January 6 riot. Reuters
Security agents and members of Congress barricade the door to the House chamber as the violent mob breaches the Capitol. AP
Rioter Jacob Chansley holds a sign referencing QAnon as supporters of Mr Trump gather to protest the early results of the 2020 presidential election. Reuters
Teams in the EHL
White Bears, Al Ain Theebs, Dubai Mighty Camels, Abu Dhabi Storms, Abu Dhabi Scorpions and Vipers
What vitamins do we know are beneficial for living in the UAE
Vitamin D: Highly relevant in the UAE due to limited sun exposure; supports bone health, immunity and mood. Vitamin B12: Important for nerve health and energy production, especially for vegetarians, vegans and individuals with absorption issues. Iron: Useful only when deficiency or anaemia is confirmed; helps reduce fatigue and support immunity. Omega-3 (EPA/DHA): Supports heart health and reduces inflammation, especially for those who consume little fish.
Dubai Bling season three
Cast: Loujain Adada, Zeina Khoury, Farhana Bodi, Ebraheem Al Samadi, Mona Kattan, and couples Safa & Fahad Siddiqui and DJ Bliss & Danya Mohammed
La Mer beach is open from 10am until midnight, daily, and is located in Jumeirah 1, well after Kite Beach. Some restaurants, like Cupagahwa, are open from 8am for breakfast; most others start at noon. At the time of writing, we noticed that signs for Vicolo, an Italian eatery, and Kaftan, a Turkish restaurant, indicated that these two restaurants will be open soon, most likely this month. Parking is available, as well as a Dh100 all-day valet option or a Dh50 valet service if you’re just stopping by for a few hours.
October 26: Bahrain withdraws from a proposal to create a federation of nine with the seven Trucial States and Qatar.
December: Ahmed Al Suwaidi visits New York to discuss potential UN membership.
1971
March 1: Alex Douglas Hume, Conservative foreign secretary confirms that Britain will leave the Gulf and “strongly supports” the creation of a Union of Arab Emirates.
July 12: Historic meeting at which Sheikh Zayed and Sheikh Rashid make a binding agreement to create what will become the UAE.
July 18: It is announced that the UAE will be formed from six emirates, with a proposed constitution signed. RAK is not yet part of the agreement.
August 6: The fifth anniversary of Sheikh Zayed becoming Ruler of Abu Dhabi, with official celebrations deferred until later in the year.
August 15: Bahrain becomes independent.
September 3: Qatar becomes independent.
November 23-25: Meeting with Sheikh Zayed and Sheikh Rashid and senior British officials to fix December 2 as date of creation of the UAE.
November 29: At 5.30pm Iranian forces seize the Greater and Lesser Tunbs by force.
November 30: Despite a power sharing agreement, Tehran takes full control of Abu Musa.
November 31: UK officials visit all six participating Emirates to formally end the Trucial States treaties
December 2: 11am, Dubai. New Supreme Council formally elects Sheikh Zayed as President. Treaty of Friendship signed with the UK. 11.30am. Flag raising ceremony at Union House and Al Manhal Palace in Abu Dhabi witnessed by Sheikh Khalifa, then Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi.
December 6: Arab League formally admits the UAE. The first British Ambassador presents his credentials to Sheikh Zayed.
December 9: UAE joins the United Nations.
Secret Pigeon Service: Operation Colomba, Resistance and the Struggle to Liberate Europe Gordon Corera, Harper Collins
FIXTURES
Monday, January 28
Iran v Japan, Hazza bin Zayed Stadium (6pm)
Tuesday, January 29
UAEv Qatar, Mohamed Bin Zayed Stadium (6pm)
Friday, February 1
Final, Zayed Sports City Stadium (6pm)
RESULT
Shabab Al Ahli Dubai 0 Al Ain 6
Al Ain: Caio (5', 73'), El Shahat (10'), Berg (65'), Khalil (83'), Al Ahbabi (90' 2)
Virtuzone GCC Sixes
Date and venue Friday and Saturday, ICC Academy, Dubai Sports City
Time Matches start at 9am
Groups
A Blighty Ducks, Darjeeling Colts, Darjeeling Social, Dubai Wombats; B Darjeeling Veterans, Kuwait Casuals, Loose Cannons, Savannah Lions; C Awali Taverners, Darjeeling, Dromedary, Darjeeling Good Eggs
Fixtures
Sunday, December 8, Sharjah Cricket Stadium – UAE v USA
Monday, December 9, Sharjah Cricket Stadium – USA v Scotland
Wednesday, December 11, Sharjah Cricket Stadium – UAE v Scotland
Thursday, December 12, ICC Academy, Dubai – UAE v USA
Saturday, December 14, ICC Academy, Dubai – USA v Scotland
Sunday, December 15, ICC Academy, Dubai – UAE v Scotland
Note: All matches start at 10am, admission is free
Prop idols
Girls full-contact rugby may be in its infancy in the Middle East, but there are already a number of role models for players to look up to.
Sophie Shams (Dubai Exiles mini, England sevens international)
An Emirati student who is blazing a trail in rugby. She first learnt the game at Dubai Exiles and captained her JESS Primary school team. After going to study geophysics at university in the UK, she scored a sensational try in a cup final at Twickenham. She has played for England sevens, and is now contracted to top Premiership club Saracens.
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Seren Gough-Walters (Sharjah Wanderers mini, Wales rugby league international)
Few players anywhere will have taken a more circuitous route to playing rugby on Sky Sports. Gough-Walters was born in Al Wasl Hospital in Dubai, raised in Sharjah, did not take up rugby seriously till she was 15, has a master’s in global governance and ethics, and once worked as an immigration officer at the British Embassy in Abu Dhabi. In the summer of 2021 she played for Wales against England in rugby league, in a match that was broadcast live on TV.
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Erin King (Dubai Hurricanes mini, Ireland sevens international)
Aged five, Australia-born King went to Dubai Hurricanes training at The Sevens with her brothers. She immediately struck up a deep affection for rugby. She returned to the city at the end of last year to play at the Dubai Rugby Sevens in the colours of Ireland in the Women’s World Series tournament on Pitch 1.
