Ruby Chen has spent 587 days waiting for his son Itay, 19, to come home. An Israeli-German-American soldier serving in the Israeli military, Itay was taken hostage by Hamas-led militants during the October 7, 2023, assault on southern Israel.
His father now divides his time between grief and diplomacy, appealing to leaders, from Washington to Doha, for help in bringing his son home.
“My family are Holocaust survivors,” Mr Chen told the The National, as he prepared to speak before the UN Security Council on the issue of hostages held in Gaza. “They understand the magnitude of having a Jewish state to protect us. Itay could have gone to college, could have been in New York, but he chose to serve.”
He said he met many times with the US special envoy to the Middle East, Steve Witkoff, who he described as “a man with a large heart”.
“He understands the issues of the hostages as he himself lost his son in different circumstances, but he understands what it means to be a parent and losing a child,” Mr Chen said. “He has promised to us that: ‘I will not disappoint you, and I will not end this mission until you will be reunited with Itay as well as the other US families.'”
Mr Chen emphasised the importance of sustained international efforts to bring the remaining hostages home.
“We need the help of the US's international partners such as the UAE, Qatar, Egypt, Saudi, to broker a deal which will decouple the bigger political issue that has been going on for decades," he explained.
"There are still 58 hostages, including four Americans, as well as the humanitarian crisis of the people of Gaza who have been used as human shields by a terrorist organisation for far too long."
His comments come after hostage Edan Alexander was released by Hamas, reportedly as a goodwill gesture towards US President Donald Trump, who is visiting the Gulf this week.
Mr Chen also urged Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to heed public opinion on the war.
“Four polls show the Israeli public supports a ceasefire to get the last hostage home. Not hostages, but the last hostage,” he stressed.
On March 24, Mr Chen and his wife were notified by the Israeli military that Itay probably did not survive the October 7 attacks.
“For over 19 months, Hamas have not been willing to acknowledge that he is in their possession … what is his physical status? I think this is the lowest form of terrorist psychological warfare imaginable,” Mr Chen told the Security Council at a special meeting on the protection of civilians in armed conflict, which addresses the obligation of returning hostage remains.
“We are collateral damage,” Mr Chen added. “We are not the sons or daughters of prime ministers. But we deserve comfort. We deserve closure.”
For now, Mr Chen and his family remain stuck, as he describes it, “in an alternative universe", fighting for one thing: “To be reunited” with Itay.
When asked what he would say if given the chance to speak directly to Hamas, he said: “I would say to them that they have done bad things. We need to see a better future for everybody.”
He added: “This war has gone on far too long. We need to find a compromise … a way to be together. We are all children of the same God. We are descendants of Abraham, all of us.”
Mr Chen said any aspiration by Hamas to take part in the international community must begin with the release of the hostages captives.
“If they indeed wish to be part of the future, then they need to release at least the hostages and negotiate in good faith for a better future for the Palestinian people.”
