A typical NFL-related conversation these days centres on someone who does not play in the league. Never has. He carries the same affiliation as you or I.
No matter. Clusters of fans cursed with dreadful teams this season seek solace by invoking his name in a plea to the football gods: Play matchmaker between this beauty of a quarterback and our beast of a squad. Some precincts have taken up a mildly naughty rhyme involving his surname as a slogan that essentially urges their habitually losing franchises to stay the course in hopes of reaping a consolation prize: lead-off pick in the 2012 draft.
Such is the fascination with the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes that newspapers soon will invert the standings to spell out the contenders for the junior from Stanford.
Last Sunday morning, the worst-of-the-worst list would have been topped by Miami and Indianapolis. Dolphins and Colts acolytes clinging to the belief that in sports, as in life, darkness inevitably gives way to light - could see past the zeroes in the win column. If their teams continue to muck it up for Luck, they reasoned, he could become theirs.
Some Indy devotees had taken to outfitting themselves at games in makeshift Luck jerseys. As a courtesy to incumbent players, they assigned to Luck the No 12, which nobody on the roster wears.
To Colts officials and loyalists, these fun-lovers are as obnoxious as Occupy protesters setting up camp in your front lawn. If nothing else, they are considered pains in the neck in the presence of No 18.
That would be Peyton Manning, who already has endured enough pain in his neck that he hardly needs any cluckers for Luck around. Three medical procedures within 19 months have idled him all year. His absence has sent a team and a city into a tailspin.
Manning seems bent on returning this season, motivated surely by a yearning to dissuade team management from spending lots of bucks on Luck.
The stuck-on-Luck contingent, mindful of Manning's incalculable contributions to the Colts, are not necessarily disrespectful. Four young fans at Sunday's game softened the campaign by spelling out L-U-C-K on their painted chests while unfurling a home-made banner that read, "The next best thing to Manning."
The yuks for Luck do hint at a concern taken seriously by some: that teams could purposely try and finish with the lousiest record, thus jumping to the front of the NFL draft line. It has prompted debate on whether the league should temporarily shelve its draft procedure, which awards first pick to the worst team, and adopt the NBA's lottery system that discourages a short-term de-emphasis on winning.
Relax. No way will a player risk providing video evidence of half-heartedness by underpefroming - looking like a schmuck for Luck - even if subtly asked by a team authority. No authority would ask anyway, particularly not a coach. In Indy and Miami, Jim Caldwell and Tony Sparano's future employment prospects would be diminished by the stain of a wretched record.
Of course, starters could be replaced by understudies, but the reasoning could be legitimate. On chronic losers, whole rosters require evaluating. Besides, how worse could the back-ups be than the regulars? Reserves under the microscope tend to show pluck, with or without the spectre of Luck.
The Andrew Luck phenomenon is a byproduct of social media, the tendency of up-and-comers from any walk of life to get overhyped; the elevation of unproven quarterbacks to potential franchise saviours.
Take note of rookies Cameron Newton (Carolina Panthers) and Andy Dalton (Cincinnati Bengals) and point out that Luck was rated more highly than both until he bypassed the last draft. One plus one equals ... three, sometimes.
Two words: Ryan Leaf. Two more: Jamarcus Russell. Both were drummed out of the league after playing like yuck.
Luck, whose father lasted five pro seasons at quarterback, displays no mechanical or character flaws that, in hindsight, should have been evident with Leaf (No 2 overall in the 1998 draft) and Russell (No 1 in 2007). Still, there is no sure thing in talent evaluation.
Phil Simms, the television analyst, who mastered the position, said of Luck: "I just don't see big-time throws ... He never takes it and rips it in there."
In Indianapolis, the Colts raised the volume on Luck chatter by losing to the Atlanta Falcons. The Dolphins? They left their followers torn between elation and despair by beating the Kansas City Chiefs, thus putting Manning's team ahead in the risky game of possibly getting stuck with Luck.
Oh, there are other gifted quarterbacks in the draft, including one Landry Jones of Oklahoma. Moans and Groans Will Lead Us To Jones. Hey, how does that sound, Miami?
sports@thenational.ae
SPECS
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Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Timeline
1947
Ferrari’s road-car company is formed and its first badged car, the 125 S, rolls off the assembly line
1962
250 GTO is unveiled
1969
Fiat becomes a Ferrari shareholder, acquiring 50 per cent of the company
1972
The Fiorano circuit, Ferrari’s racetrack for development and testing, opens
1976
First automatic Ferrari, the 400 Automatic, is made
1987
F40 launched
1988
Enzo Ferrari dies; Fiat expands its stake in the company to 90 per cent
2002
The Enzo model is announced
2010
Ferrari World opens in Abu Dhabi
2011
First four-wheel drive Ferrari, the FF, is unveiled
2013
LaFerrari, the first Ferrari hybrid, arrives
2014
Fiat Chrysler announces the split of Ferrari from the parent company
2015
Ferrari launches on Wall Street
2017
812 Superfast unveiled; Ferrari celebrates its 70th anniversary
Schedule:
Sept 15: Bangladesh v Sri Lanka (Dubai)
Sept 16: Pakistan v Qualifier (Dubai)
Sept 17: Sri Lanka v Afghanistan (Abu Dhabi)
Sept 18: India v Qualifier (Dubai)
Sept 19: India v Pakistan (Dubai)
Sept 20: Bangladesh v Afghanistan (Abu Dhabi) Super Four
Sept 21: Group A Winner v Group B Runner-up (Dubai)
Sept 21: Group B Winner v Group A Runner-up (Abu Dhabi)
Sept 23: Group A Winner v Group A Runner-up (Dubai)
Sept 23: Group B Winner v Group B Runner-up (Abu Dhabi)
Sept 25: Group A Winner v Group B Winner (Dubai)
Sept 26: Group A Runner-up v Group B Runner-up (Abu Dhabi)
Sept 28: Final (Dubai)
The Indoor Cricket World Cup
When: September 16-23
Where: Insportz, Dubai
Indoor cricket World Cup:
Insportz, Dubai, September 16-23
UAE fixtures:
Men
Saturday, September 16 – 1.45pm, v New Zealand
Sunday, September 17 – 10.30am, v Australia; 3.45pm, v South Africa
Monday, September 18 – 2pm, v England; 7.15pm, v India
Tuesday, September 19 – 12.15pm, v Singapore; 5.30pm, v Sri Lanka
Thursday, September 21 – 2pm v Malaysia
Friday, September 22 – 3.30pm, semi-final
Saturday, September 23 – 3pm, grand final
Women
Saturday, September 16 – 5.15pm, v Australia
Sunday, September 17 – 2pm, v South Africa; 7.15pm, v New Zealand
Monday, September 18 – 5.30pm, v England
Tuesday, September 19 – 10.30am, v New Zealand; 3.45pm, v South Africa
Thursday, September 21 – 12.15pm, v Australia
Friday, September 22 – 1.30pm, semi-final
Saturday, September 23 – 1pm, grand final
If you go
Flying
Despite the extreme distance, flying to Fairbanks is relatively simple, requiring just one transfer in Seattle, which can be reached directly from Dubai with Emirates for Dh6,800 return.
Touring
Gondwana Ecotours’ seven-day Polar Bear Adventure starts in Fairbanks in central Alaska before visiting Kaktovik and Utqiarvik on the North Slope. Polar bear viewing is highly likely in Kaktovik, with up to five two-hour boat tours included. Prices start from Dh11,500 per person, with all local flights, meals and accommodation included; gondwanaecotours.com
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Kumulus Water
Started: 2021
Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid
Based: Tunisia
Sector: Water technology
Number of staff: 22
Investment raised: $4 million
The specs
Engine: 4.0-litre flat-six
Torque: 450Nm at 6,100rpm
Transmission: 7-speed PDK auto or 6-speed manual
Fuel economy, combined: 13.8L/100km
On sale: Available to order now
Monster
Directed by: Anthony Mandler
Starring: Kelvin Harrison Jr., John David Washington
3/5
ELIO
Starring: Yonas Kibreab, Zoe Saldana, Brad Garrett
Directors: Madeline Sharafian, Domee Shi, Adrian Molina
Rating: 4/5
Business Insights
- Canada and Mexico are significant energy suppliers to the US, providing the majority of oil and natural gas imports
- The introduction of tariffs could hinder the US's clean energy initiatives by raising input costs for materials like nickel
- US domestic suppliers might benefit from higher prices, but overall oil consumption is expected to decrease due to elevated costs
A cheaper choice
Vanuatu: $130,000
Why on earth pick Vanuatu? Easy. The South Pacific country has no income tax, wealth tax, capital gains or inheritance tax. And in 2015, when it was hit by Cyclone Pam, it signed an agreement with the EU that gave it some serious passport power.
Cost: A minimum investment of $130,000 for a family of up to four, plus $25,000 in fees.
Criteria: Applicants must have a minimum net worth of $250,000. The process take six to eight weeks, after which the investor must travel to Vanuatu or Hong Kong to take the oath of allegiance. Citizenship and passport are normally provided on the same day.
Benefits: No tax, no restrictions on dual citizenship, no requirement to visit or reside to retain a passport. Visa-free access to 129 countries.
Meatless Days
Sara Suleri, with an introduction by Kamila Shamsie
Penguin