Editor's note: This story contains references to suicide
A few months after Tom Kinsey and his wife celebrated the birth of their second son, something unexpected happened.
Kinsey says he experienced postnatal depression, something he did not initially recognise at the time. He describes how it gradually took hold, leading him to rely on alcohol, and to a point where he attempted to take his own life.
It was only later, he says, that he began to understand what he had been going through. “Men still now don't 'get' postnatal depression,” he tells The National. “It's not a thing that's spoken about at all. And that ate away at me.”
Kinsey's friend Dayle Hallam, meanwhile, faced his own challenges, including substance abuse and issues with his mental health. When the Covid-19 pandemic arrived, he lost his income and his situation worsened, eventually leading him to attempt suicide.
He later entered rehabilitation in the UK and began rebuilding his life, eventually moving to the UAE, where he met his wife. While things have changed for the better, Hallam says those issues have not entirely gone away.
The duo, who met in the UAE, have since launched Menathon – a male-only fitness group that combines running and workout sessions with a focus on mental well-being and connection.
At the time, about three years ago, Hallam had a daughter, while Kinsey was in the thick of early parenthood with a toddler-aged son. Both realised they had not only fallen out of shape, but were also no longer socialising with other people as much.
They decided to meet at Kite Beach for a run. From there, they realised the power of social connection and launched the fitness group that has since grown organically.
“A lot of guys out here work early hours or late nights, five or six days a week,” says Kinsey, adding that if they don't get on with their co-workers, it “can be quite lonely”. He saw this as an opportunity to bring them together outside of work.
For both men, the group is rooted in personal experience. Seeking help does not mean their struggles disappeared. Instead, it became about learning to manage them, with support from those around them playing a key role.
“If you are having these thoughts, everything is fixable. Everything,” says Hallam.
Despite growing awareness about mental health, men remain less inclined than women to seek support. Globally, men account for the majority of suicides and are far less likely than women to access psychological services or speak to a doctor when struggling. Some men report concerns about how they might be perceived by others if they admit to needing support.
Menathon aims to offer an accessible starting point. The group meets twice a week at Kite Beach, on Tuesdays and Sundays at 6am. Most join through social media or by reaching out directly before attending a session.
“We focus on having a communal aspect to it. So you work in teams, in threes or fours, which breaks down the barriers of social interaction,” explains Hallam.
They attract people of various ages and backgrounds, with about 50 men attending Sunday sessions. The group has also expanded to Abu Dhabi.
Some members are also preparing for a long-distance relay run between the two cities to not only raise awareness around men’s mental health, but also commemorate a recent tragedy Hallam underwent.
The challenge carries a more personal meaning for Hallam, whose son died at 17 months old – something he describes as “a very, very hard thing to come to terms with”.
The race format is intentional, with runners taking turns to reflect the idea of men supporting one another.
The founders are also looking at ways to expand the group’s reach, including holding a dads-and-children session, which they say was a massive hit.
“It’s good to get kids out exercising and it’s good for them to watch their parents going through a tough workout and being part of it with them,” says Kinsey.
However, it is not only about physical fitness. The pair believe it can also help the next generation by encouraging emotional openness.
“It’s not weak to talk,” says Hallam. “If you’ve got a bunch of men up there – tattoos, beards, big personalities – but they’re open and happy to talk about vulnerability and resilience, then you open that door for children to maybe take that on themselves.”
There is no expectation for participants to open up, but the setting can make those conversations easier over time. “You just have to come down and take that first step, just show your face,” says Kinsey.
Hallam adds: “People are willing to help, but they can’t help unless you take the first step. It starts with you.”
For a list of mental health resources available in the UAE, click here
