Slime Universe. Hyperbowl. Takeshi’s Jump. Roll Glider. Sounding more like an entire theme park rather than an indoor play area in the heart of Dubai's Al Quoz, Loco Bear is big, bold and entertaining.
Spread across 70,000 square feet over two levels, the entertainment hub serves up a party vibe with its accent lighting, neon signage and peppy music. Loco Lounge, meanwhile, serves diverse dishes such as pulled beef mac n cheese, Cajun chicken bao and Impossible chilli nachos, which can be washed down with concoctions such as raspberry peppermint punch, blood orange mojito and beetroot-celery juice. For all of that, it's all about the children.
The play area
My four-year-old daughter and her friend spent four hours there, hitting up Slime Universe (Dh75 for 30 minutes) first.
Spread between two areas, the activity is messy, time-consuming and engaging. The girls took their time choosing from fluffy, buttery, crunchy and other varieties, followed by a vigorous half-hour of mixing, kneading and selecting scents and sparkles. Me? I got a rose-scented, lavender-tinted fluffy version with slivers of silver that I now use in lieu of a stress ball.
Next we made a beeline for the trampoline area (Dh99 for 60 minutes), fitted out with 20-plus jumping pads, including interactive corners where the kids can bounce to the beat of a video game. A free fall and cliff jump area underscores my fear of heights, but the others in our party go flying facedown into the softness of poofed-up landing mats several times over. There's even an alarmingly curved slide and competitive parkour course for the young and the brave.
The arcade games beckoned (and a fluffy teddy was won), after which we headed to the soft-play area (from Dh75 for 60 minutes). The disco theme continues here, with radiantly lit slides plummeting into a gigantic ballpit.
A padded obstacle course means I lost sight of the children within seconds, but staff are plentiful and professional and we were soon heading to Loco Lounge for much-needed sustenance.
The food
It's an impressively diverse menu, with ample choices for the children and more grown-up palates, from mozzarella sticks and panko nuggets to healthy bowls and Arabic meze. While the chicken fajitas were nothing to write home about, the Korean fried chicken bao was delectably sticky and flavourful without being overtly sweet – and gone in seconds.
The Louisiana buttermilk chicken tenders and buffalo chicken pizza were suitably safe options for both adults and children, but it took more than 20 minutes for the food to be served.
Vegans and vegetarians are well-served too, with Impossible options, plus avocado-burrata toast, mushroom-truffle pizza, charred katsu cauliflower bao and plenty of pasta.
Satiated, exhilarated but utterly exhausted, we trooped out with our various goodies and have never slept better.
We left with a list of things we'd like to enjoy next time, including laser tag; the 120-metre Roll Glide, the Leap of Faith challenge in the wall climbing arena; virtual darts and a repeat order of that sticky chicken bao. And by we, I don't mean the four-year-old in our household, but rather the 40-year-olds.
Loco Bear offers both individual rates and packages. The latter range from Dh135 for 90 minutes in the soft-play and slime arenas to Dh199 for an hour of either soft play or trampoline, plus 30 minutes of laser tag and a game of bowling.
