For a whole school year, we have chewed our pens down to slobbery plastic messes trying to get our heads around trigonometry. We have faithfully forced ourselves out of bed at ridiculous hours to show our unwavering support towards the alma mater. Just when your noses have spent so much time against the grindstone that they've been rubbed raw, a chance to recharge presents itself in the form of the summer holidays.
The holidays, however, pass at a speed far greater than should be lawful; it's hard to believe that a month of wasting time has passed already.
In London, in a hotel a minute away from that glorious shopping destination, Oxford Street, you don't need to look particularly far to enjoy yourself. All of Regent Street is bedecked with the flags of the nations participating in the Olympics, so it's easy to get into the sporting spirit. My Facebook newsfeed was flooded with my schoolmates giddily posting pictures of their TV sets frozen in the glimpse of the swimmer Andrew Chetcuti at the opening ceremony with the rest of the Maltese contingent. And with good reason, too – he is our ex-head boy, giving us all a vicarious thrill at the school being represented.
The shops seem to be putting much effort into tactics for cashing in on the tourist influx. The evenings here can be quite cold, but the beachwear store Gilly Hicks has, in a rather desperate attempt to draw in the customers, parked some 20 boys in nothing but beach shorts outside its doors. They don't do anything but stand there giving toothy grins. Shallow marketing ploy? Maybe, but it works, considering all the swooning female tourists having their photos taken with them.
A Ferrari store, meanwhile, was more discerning - you could obtain permission to take a photo of the car on display for a meagre fee of £16 (Dh92). Bit of a rip-off, but then the store also featured a recording in the background of "vroom-vroom" noises, contributing to the atmosphere you could enjoy free of charge.
One of the most enjoyable moments of the trip so far, though, was a warming hearty meal with some friends outside the capital in Southampton. I don't think teens are allowed in most of the UAE watering holes, so it was a pleasant change to smell the heady mixture of body odour and a delicious something roasting in an oven as we entered The Cowherds, a cosy converted cowshed and stables.
Polishing off my massive golden-brown chicken and leek pie - they're generous with their portion sizes - I'm looking forward to the rest of summer doing nothing. That pie was excellent, and my bags are full of tacky Olympic souvenirs.
Do I really need to splurge on key chains featuring creepy one-eyed mascots? No. But the Games are all about showing solidarity with the athletes, and this summer is all about living the Olympic dream, getting through high-street stores faster, wracking up higher bills than ever and helping build a stronger economy.
ICC Awards for 2021
MEN
Cricketer of the Year – Shaheen Afridi (Pakistan)
T20 Cricketer of the Year – Mohammad Rizwan (Pakistan)
ODI Cricketer of the Year – Babar Azam (Pakistan)
Test Cricketer of the Year – Joe Root (England)
WOMEN
Cricketer of the Year – Smriti Mandhana (India)
ODI Cricketer of the Year – Lizelle Lee (South Africa)
T20 Cricketer of the Year – Tammy Beaumont (England)
Company Profile
Name: Thndr
Started: 2019
Co-founders: Ahmad Hammouda and Seif Amr
Sector: FinTech
Headquarters: Egypt
UAE base: Hub71, Abu Dhabi
Current number of staff: More than 150
Funds raised: $22 million
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BORDERLANDS
Starring: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis
Director: Eli Roth
Rating: 0/5
Israel Palestine on Swedish TV 1958-1989
Director: Goran Hugo Olsson
Rating: 5/5
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The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cyl turbo
Power: 247hp at 6,500rpm
Torque: 370Nm from 1,500-3,500rpm
Transmission: 10-speed auto
Fuel consumption: 7.8L/100km
Price: from Dh94,900
On sale: now
What is 'Soft Power'?
Soft power was first mentioned in 1990 by former US Defence Secretary Joseph Nye.
He believed that there were alternative ways of cultivating support from other countries, instead of achieving goals using military strength.
Soft power is, at its root, the ability to convince other states to do what you want without force.
This is traditionally achieved by proving that you share morals and values.
Film: Raid
Dir: Rajkumar Gupta
Starring: Ajay Devgn, Ileana D'cruz and Saurabh Shukla
Verdict: Three stars
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WHEN TO GO:
September to November or March to May; this is when visitors are most likely to see what they’ve come for.
WHERE TO STAY:
Meghauli Serai, A Taj Safari - Chitwan National Park resort (tajhotels.com) is a one-hour drive from Bharatpur Airport with stays costing from Dh1,396 per night, including taxes and breakfast. Return airport transfers cost from Dh661.
HOW TO GET THERE:
Etihad Airways regularly flies from Abu Dhabi to Kathmandu from around Dh1,500 per person return, including taxes. Buddha Air (buddhaair.com) and Yeti Airlines (yetiairlines.com) fly from Kathmandu to Bharatpur several times a day from about Dh660 return and the flight takes just 20 minutes. Driving is possible but the roads are hilly which means it will take you five or six hours to travel 148 kilometres.
UAE Premiership
Results
Dubai Exiles 24-28 Jebel Ali Dragons
Abu Dhabi Harlequins 43-27 Dubai Hurricanes
Fixture
Friday, March 29, Abu Dhabi Harlequins v Jebel Ali Dragons, The Sevens, Dubai
Results:
6.30pm: Maiden Dh 165,000 1,400m.
Winner: Walking Thunder, Connor Beasley (jockey), Ahmad bin Harmash (trainer).
7.05pm: Handicap (rated 72-87) Dh 165,000 1,600m.
Winner: Syncopation, George Buckell, Doug Watson.
7.40pm: Maiden Dh 165,000 1,400m.
Winner: Big Brown Bear, Pat Dobbs, Doug Watson.
8.15pm: Handicap (75-95) Dh 190,000 1,200m.
Winner: Stunned, Pat Dobbs, Doug Watson.
8.50pm: Handicap (85-105) Dh 210,000 2,000m.
Winner: New Trails, Connor Beasley, Ahmad bin Harmash.
9.25pm: Handicap (75-95) Dh 190,000 1,600m.
Winner: Pillar Of Society, Pat Dobbs, Doug Watson.
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'My Son'
Director: Christian Carion
Starring: James McAvoy, Claire Foy, Tom Cullen, Gary Lewis
Rating: 2/5
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The 15 players selected
Muzzamil Afridi, Rahman Gul, Rizwan Haider (Dezo Devils); Shahbaz Ahmed, Suneth Sampath (Glory Gladiators); Waqas Gohar, Jamshaid Butt, Shadab Ahamed (Ganga Fighters); Ali Abid, Ayaz Butt, Ghulam Farid, JD Mahesh Kumara (Hiranni Heros); Inam Faried, Mausif Khan, Ashok Kumar (Texas Titans
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What is graphene?
Graphene is extracted from graphite and is made up of pure carbon.
It is 200 times more resistant than steel and five times lighter than aluminum.
It conducts electricity better than any other material at room temperature.
It is thought that graphene could boost the useful life of batteries by 10 per cent.
Graphene can also detect cancer cells in the early stages of the disease.
The material was first discovered when Andre Geim and Konstantin Novoselov were 'playing' with graphite at the University of Manchester in 2004.