From tears after leaving Scotland to smiles in Abu Dhabi, my teens are thriving in UAE school life

Twins Naja, left, and Emma, now 13, are happy to be back at British International School Abu Dhabi this week. Phil Johnson / The National

The first week of any new school year is a marker for parents watching their children grow up.

As I dropped my twin girls off this week and watched them stride through the gates – without their mobile phones – as confident teenagers, I couldn’t help but think back to their first day at the school.

It was 20 months ago, in January 2024, when we pressed the factory reset button on their young lives. Only 48 hours after we had left the frosty UK behind, they were trying to take in not only a new school, but also a new country, climate and way of life. They were just 11 and there were tears – plenty of them.

Everything familiar had vanished overnight. Their old school in rural Scotland had just 75 pupils and sat a few hundred yards from our front door. For seven years they had walked those corridors. They were the oldest pupils in the school when they left and knew every face.

Emma, left, and Naja had their world turned upside down when they first arrived at school as 11 year olds in January 2024. Phil Johnson / The National

Suddenly, they were the youngest in a state-of-the-art international school of 2,000 pupils drawn from every corner of the globe. The contrast was dizzying, and it’s little wonder that the first morning felt overwhelming.

It was only natural for us to question whether we were doing the right thing when the tears flowed on day one. But the teachers have seen this play out many times and reassured us all that by the end of day one there would be smiles all round. They were right, and the girls haven’t looked back since.

There were tears on their first day in January 2024, but plenty of support from teachers. Phil Johnson / The National

Naturally for 13-year-olds, the resumption of early-morning starts has not had them dancing with joy this week. But they are very happy to be back, reuniting after the summer break with all their international friends. Sure, the timetable and other things have changed. But connections have not and it’s the people who really matter.

After months of keeping in touch via WhatsApp and Snapchat, they’re now back to exchanging gifts and enjoying each other’s company in person. It’s as if they’ve never been away.

Life in Abu Dhabi has broadened their horizons at an important time in their lives

My daughters have learnt more about other cultures, countries, religions and languages at the British International School Abu Dhabi than they could ever have done in the UK. That cultural learning, maintained through digital connections, has given them a deep understanding of respect and tolerance that would be improbable back home.

Life in Abu Dhabi has broadened their horizons at an important time in their lives. Becoming teenagers, of course, unpacks new challenges for them, as well as for me as a father.

Gradually granting them more independence is one. Managing social media and screentime is another, and the two challenges often collide.

I was already somewhat concerned about my daughters spending too much time on their phones because of the effect it can have on sleep, focus and real-world connections when safety warnings hit the headlines.

The Johnson family, Naja, Juliane, Emma and Phil, enjoying a kayak trip in Abu Dhabi. Phil Johnson / The National

When the Netflix series Adolescence came out shortly after their 13th birthday, it was a stark reminder of the dangers that lurk online. Rather than give them more freedom as teenagers, I did the opposite and doubled down on screentime limits.

Phones are banned at school, so for this year they have asked for watches. “Because we don’t want to be late for class,” they claimed.

Not the kind with hands, of course, but smartwatches with step-counters, heart-rate trackers and changeable digital watchfaces. They connect straight back to their smartphones, which makes me wonder: have we reduced screentime, or just disguised it? Time will tell.

So while I wonder if we’ve solved anything, life marches on with the start of a new term.

They’ve learnt how to adapt, how to connect across cultures and how to find their feet in unfamiliar places

The first week back is always an adjustment. Teachers and timetables have changed. The international make-up of the UAE means a couple of friends have left the country too. But they will stay in touch … thanks to their smartphones.

When my second daughter smashed her screen in June, I thought it was the perfect chance to cut down her phone use. But as the holiday began, she felt cut off from connections scattered across the globe.

Making so many friends from all over has been one of the best things that has happened to my daughters since we moved to Abu Dhabi 20 months ago. I’ve learnt how important it is for them to keep in touch – despite my screentime concerns.

So even though my daughter somehow managed to smash her screen for a second time, it had to be fixed quickly. Now, there are friends in the UK to keep up with.

Living in the UAE has been good for our daughters. Where else, I wonder, could 13-year-old girls feel confident and safe enough to take a taxi to and from a water park on their own, as they did last weekend? They’ve learnt how to adapt, how to connect across cultures and how to find their feet in unfamiliar places.

Parenting teenagers in a digital world comes with plenty of frustrations. But this chapter of our family’s life has taught me that growth comes through discomfort, and resilience is built one experience – sometimes one broken screen – at a time.