All this being connected isn't necessarily a good thing


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Back in the 1990s, if you entered an online "chat room" the first thing you could see would be: "Hi, A/S/L?"

The letters stood for age, sex and location, so people would know whether they wanted to continue a conversation with you.

Of course, back then, you could lie your way into - or out of - anything. There were no profile photos or friends in common or colleagues who recommended you; back then it was just the dawn of the internet; lying was even easier than it is now.

If you lived in the UAE, you probably used the sites ICQ, ArabChat or MSN Chat; those were the most popular ones. They opened the doors for us to become "vulnerable" because you really couldn't do a background check on anyone if they gave you false information.

In my opinion, that's when social media truly began but it was limited to desktop computers. Today, social media is at our fingertips via mobile devices, and the internet has become a tool for many to attack women or young people who become vulnerable after putting "too much" information about themselves online.

So how much information about yourself can you put out there before you acquire a stalker or even someone who threatens your life?

Today, almost every website offers some sort of application that aims to connect you with others, through forums, comment boxes, links and the like. Companies use all this to promote their businesses and services, human resources people use it to look up candidates, individuals use it to connect - or sometimes to stalk people.

When Facebook started picking up, not everyone was on it, especially not 10-year-olds. As fresh graduates and new adults, my friends and I felt special; I for one thought this was an excellent way to keep in touch with cousins abroad and college friends I hadn't seen in a while. Little did I know, until I saw The Social Network, that Facebook had been created so people wanting to date could know who is single and who isn't.

That's just one example of a social networking site. Since I work in the communications industry, I need to keep up to date with what sites can work best for our public relations team. From a work perspective it's been smooth sailing - but from a personal stance, I find that some sites, or rather people who use the sites, have become a nuisance.

Take LinkedIn, for example. The site clearly states "grow your professional network". So why is it that each week, I get requests on this "professional networking" site from people saying they think I am beautiful and let's get to know each other better?

Is the site not doing a good job of filtering such people? Or don't they explain what exactly their site is for? Will we never rid ourselves of people who choose to annoy others?

What about people who deliberately ask to add you when you have friends in common, only to wait to catch you, posting something that could be turned against you, such as a picture from a party or a comment you made out of frustration?

Where does an individual draw the line on whom to add or accept as a friend? How much privacy are you willing to forgo to put your name, picture and feelings online?

I'm sorry to say there are many people out there who are using social networking sites to blackmail people with their pictures, creating fake profiles, or even cropping a person's head and attaching it to a picture of someone else's body to be part of a fake profile.

They say anyone with a phone is a journalist or even a photographer nowadays, but I say anyone with any device can also be a small-time criminal if their motives are evil.

Protecting who you are and what you stand for is your right. My advice is assess what you think is relevant because no matter how little of yourself you put out into the world via the web, someone is likely to try to abuse that information for their own benefit.

Aida Al Busaidy is a social affairs columnist and former co-host of a Dubai television show

On Twitter: @AidaAlB

Profile

Company name: Jaib

Started: January 2018

Co-founders: Fouad Jeryes and Sinan Taifour

Based: Jordan

Sector: FinTech

Total transactions: over $800,000 since January, 2018

Investors in Jaib's mother company Alpha Apps: Aramex and 500 Startups

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Quick pearls of wisdom

Focus on gratitude: And do so deeply, he says. “Think of one to three things a day that you’re grateful for. It needs to be specific, too, don’t just say ‘air.’ Really think about it. If you’re grateful for, say, what your parents have done for you, that will motivate you to do more for the world.”

Know how to fight: Shetty married his wife, Radhi, three years ago (he met her in a meditation class before he went off and became a monk). He says they’ve had to learn to respect each other’s “fighting styles” – he’s a talk it-out-immediately person, while she needs space to think. “When you’re having an argument, remember, it’s not you against each other. It’s both of you against the problem. When you win, they lose. If you’re on a team you have to win together.” 

Chatham House Rule

A mark of Chatham House’s influence 100 years on since its founding,  was Moscow’s formal declaration last month that it was an “undesirable
organisation”. 

 

The depth of knowledge and academics that it drew on
following the Ukraine invasion had broadcast Mr Putin’s chicanery.  

 

The institute is more used to accommodating world leaders,
with Nelson Mandela, Margaret Thatcher among those helping it provide
authoritative commentary on world events. 

 

Chatham House was formally founded as the Royal Institute of
International Affairs following the peace conferences of World War One. Its
founder, Lionel Curtis, wanted a more scientific examination of international affairs
with a transparent exchange of information and ideas.  

 

That arena of debate and analysis was enhanced by the “Chatham
House Rule” states that the contents of any meeting can be discussed outside Chatham
House but no mention can be made identifying individuals who commented.  

 

This has enabled some candid exchanges on difficult subjects
allowing a greater degree of free speech from high-ranking figures.  

 

These meetings are highly valued, so much so that
ambassadors reported them in secret diplomatic cables that – when they were
revealed in the Wikileaks reporting – were thus found to have broken the rule. However,
most speeches are held on the record.  

 

Its research and debate has offered fresh ideas to
policymakers enabling them to more coherently address troubling issues from climate
change to health and food security.   

 
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