Young Afghans push social boundaries on new media

Social media is giving young Afghans a way to skirt the restraints of conservative tradition and boost their personal networks.

Young Afghans are finding love on social media, which allows them to circumvent strict segregation of genders. Rahmat Gul / AP Photo

So when he got into a heated exchange with another member of his Facebook forum it was nothing out of the ordinary.

With both parties passionate about their views, they took their debate from the public forum to private messaging. There they continued – with exchanges of articles and opinion pieces to back up their views.

As they continued, their exchanges began to encompass chats about life in general.

“Turns out we’re both from the same district in Ghazni province, but we’d never met or even heard of each other,” Mr Sadiqi said.

The online chats continued – and gave way to photographs, love letters.

Romance bloomed and when Mr Sadiqi proposed to Maleka Yawari, she accepted.

Mr Sadiqi said the families were surprised by the secret romance – conducted on Facebook as he was living in Kabul and Yawari was completing an economics degree in neighbouring Kazakhstan.

“But they agreed immediately, and a year ago we got married,” he said.

It was not just the physical distance that had kept the romance online.

Fifteen years after the overthrow of the Taliban, Afghanistan is still a deeply conservative country where women are largely confined to the home.

Arranged marriages are the norm and women being killed by relatives in “honour killings” over perceived or alleged sexual indiscretions still happens.

Unmarried lovers can also be stoned to death by their neighbours.

The rise of social media has allowed more young people to safely get to know each other outside of society’s strict confines.

The opportunity is mainly limited to the urban middle class, though, with only an estimated 10 to 20 per cent of Afghans having access to the internet.

That is set to change as the country rolls out a 3G network and smartphones become more affordable.

And while other countries in the region tightly control access to online content Afghanistan has no such official restraints to social media.

Facebook is widely used, while WhatsApp, Viber, Skype and Instagram are also popular.

Kabul-based media consultant Ben Bruges said Afghanistan had seen a “big generational change,” with youth using technology their parents do not understand to “escape traditional conservative confines.”

“It might be possible for more young people to talk to each other online than would be possible in their daily lives, given the restrictions on the genders talking to each other in Afghanistan,” he said.

Maqsood Akbari, a doctor from the city of Mazar-i-Sharif, agreed.

He courted his wife secretly on social media after meeting her in a library in 2008.

“Finding a suitable marriage partner in this conservative society is a real challenge,” he said.

“The internet provides a level of safety and security, protecting a couple’s social dignity and providing a precious way for young people to meet each other.”

* Associated Press