Hessa Tahlak, a down-to-earth superwoman

She is determined to do as much as she can with her life, and the support of her family and an understanding husband are giving her a shot at it..

Hessa Tahlak is head of research and analysis for the Dubai Women Establishment.

DUBAI// Hessa Tahlak straddles the divide between the traditional and the evolving modern ideas of the Emirati woman. She works full-time in a management position while her husband, Walid al Rafi, pursues his career with the Ministry of Interior. They share parental duties and manage to carve out time for one another.

But when she leaves for her office in Emirates Towers each morning, she says goodbye not only to her husband of five years and her daughter Haya, four, and infant son Khaled, but also to her mother, father and younger sister. Ms Tahlak, 30, and her husband have decided to live with her parents in their Jumeirah home to allow them a family option for childcare. "When I suggested to my husband that we stay with my family, he said, 'Sure, why not?'," she said. "I just preferred to stay with them for the first few years of marriage, especially as it's nice to have more family around for the children."

The arrangement seems to be working. Haya and Khaled are looked after by their grandmother and a nanny, enabling Ms Tahlak to keep working as the head of research and analysis at the Dubai Women Establishment (DWE). While retaining her job was important to her, not everyone is in a position to keep working. More than 20 per cent of Emirati women expect to leave their jobs when they have their first child, according to the DWE, a governmental body.

Her choice may have been shaped by her upbringing. Ms Tahlak said her father, a banker for 40 years, was the more liberal influence, with her mother the more conservative force. "I was raised in an open-minded family, so I got both influences," she said. "My father has the mindset that you can do whatever you want as long as there is a good purpose and reason. My mother is known for being very caring, which has had a real influence on how I raise my children."

Ms Tahlak's upbringing in a vibrant Jumeirah neighbourhood exposed her to the rich tapestry that makes up her city, as she grew up exposed to people from across and beyond the Arab world. Her father placed a great deal of importance on a quality education, with all three of his children taught by Iraqi nuns at the Al Rashid Al Saleh Private School in Oud Metha. Ms Tahlak then went on to study marketing and management at the American University of Sharjah.

After university, one of her first jobs was with the Dubai Quality Group, where she worked on projects including the Emirates Businesswomen Award. It was through this that she became interested in women's issues and realised that not everyone can have it all. The lesson hit home when she was vetting some of the women nominated for the award, with one of the meetings scheduled for Al Ain. Her daughter was two months old, making the prospect of being out of Dubai for several hours difficult.

The solution came when Mr al Rafi, who took the day off work, and her mother offered to accompany her to Al Ain, booking a hotel room so they could look after Haya. "The experience made me think about the many women who have careers, which doesn't mean you have to be single or not have a family. I realised working is a very important part of me. I'm not asking everyone to become Superwoman, but I want to try to do as much as I can."

Aisha al Suwaidi, the DWE director general, said Ms Tahlak fulfils an important function as a role model for working women striving to create a balance. "I really respect her for that," Ms al Suwaidi said. "Hessa has that flexibility when she needs it and she is really representing this very well." Ms Tahlak, who stops short of calling herself an "activist", still strives to tell women they have options.

"Here, the Government believes in women," she said. "Our role is to get these people into the job market and encourage them, if that is what they want. It is not necessarily about asking for our rights, because we have them." While she concedes that some more conservative families still exert control over their daughters' lives, she thinks times are changing. For her part, Ms Tahlak is keen to set her own agenda.

"Ten years from now I would like to hear people say that Hessa did this for Dubai and the UAE," she said. "Even if it's a small project, I would like to hear that I added value." @Email:[e-mail]