"How old is he? Only four months? Wow, you’re brave."
The first time an elderly couple in a quaint Portuguese restaurant said this to my wife and I, we smiled politely, offering an awkward chuckle and looking around at the childless couples and friend groups that sat around us.
By the end of our trip, I'd worked out that if I had a euro for every time I’d heard this, I could have paid for my overpriced Algarve hotel stay twice over. "What do they mean?!” I thought, trying not to let panic set in. "Everyone told us this is exactly when we are supposed to go away... right?"
Well, yes and no. While it's the advice new parents hear so often before their babies hit the walking stage, I found out that the reality isn't quite so straightforward. Instead, here's my tried-and-tested advice for travelling with a tiny tot.
Accept that holidays have changed completely
A friend once told me: “Imagine the trips you used to go on as a couple – and then lower the expectation by 50 per cent". Now, while I wouldn’t necessarily want to debate percentages per se, I would say that acknowledging the gravitationally different nature of your coming trip compared to every other holiday is important before you go.
It may seem obvious, but I’ve spoken to many parents who came back saying they completely underestimated what they could or couldn’t do when first going away with their children.
The key is to establish expectations about what is and what isn’t feasible. Our watershed moment was a third failed attempt at going for a nice sunset beach walk, where, despite our son’s usually calm demeanour, he would routinely go utterly berserk about four minutes in. Cue packing everything back in the car and a ruefully silent drive back to the hotel, where he would, of course, immediately become perfectly docile and content.
But once you recognise certain limitations, slow down and accept that flexibility is your friend, you should find a holiday mould that works for the whole family.
Pack lightly for your baby
You’ll no doubt have been showered with dozens of holiday outfits from overzealous family members for baby’s first vacation, and may understandably feel the need to take them all with you. Don’t.
Babies may need many things while abroad, but an assortment of mini-Hawaiian shirts is not one of them. Neither will you need your whole nursery.
Don’t overthink how they’ll behave in-flight
No one likes being sat next to a screaming baby. Probably even more so if it’s your own. You’ll likely be hyper-conscious of ruining everyone’s flight, but travellers will have seen it all before.
And if your little one does have a mid-air meltdown, what’s important is being seen to at least try to do something about it, as opposed to just sticking on your noise-cancelling headphones, loading up Squid Game and hoping they’ll calm down.
In general, we found fellow fliers are all too sympathetic to parents onboard with babies and will be rooting for you. And who knows? If you’re lucky, the cabin crew might even take them off your hands for a while.
Take your pram onboard with you
Sure, it may take up precious compartment space, but if you do decide to check your pram at the plane door, as we did, just know that these oversized items are always, unfailingly, the last to be taken off the aircraft.
So, if you don’t want to start your vacation with a torturous wait in baggage claim with an antsy baby, bring the buggy as a carry-on.
Plus, if you experience any delays or flight cancellations, you'll be glad to have it to hand.
Bring less, hire more
A little trickier if you’re going on holiday off the beaten track, but we saved ourselves from extortionate extra baggage fees (and debilitating back problems) by hiring our more sizable baby equipment in advance from a local rental business.
Super common in destinations with lots of resorts, this option is great for essential, but equally cumbersome items such as play mats, bouncers, high chairs and travel cots.
Leave the steriliser machine at home
Undoubtedly a lifesaver at home, bottle sterilisers are ungainly, awkwardly shaped, and no matter what the size or form of your travel luggage is, they never fit in easily.
So, rather than disassembling and reassembling it in a fit of rage before you get on the aircraft, investigate alternatives to keep your newborn’s bottles clean. Microwavable sterilising bags, steam pouches or cold-water tablets are all easily purchasable online and do a great job.
Use your baby to your advantage
Whether being put to the front of the queue at passport control or being given the last seat in a packed restaurant, your newborn is a bona fide meal ticket to an upgraded holiday experience.
Just be aware that the price you pay for this friendliness may mean relinquishing your child for a cuddle from some slightly over-familiar locals. Or, in our case, watching him get passed around by a waitress in a taverna kitchen for 10 minutes while you wait for your starters.
Hiring a car? Get specific on the car seat
We weren’t and were regrettably lumbered with a particularly uncomfortable contraption that faced the wrong way and had less recline than a park bench. Not ideal when you planned your holiday around the baby sleeping on car journeys.
Make sure to get the right one from the start, to avoid hassle later down the line.
Remember that high chairs don’t come as standard
This depends on your destination, of course, but we found that in continental Europe (where restaurants are naturally a little more intimate), high chairs were not particularly abundant. So, call ahead to check or be prepared to eat your Vongole with a baby on your lap, pawing at every forkful.
Learn local baby product lingo
We’re all probably guilty of becoming a little too used to the UAE’s ultra-convenience culture, where everything is available at the touch of a button, but in all likelihood, your holiday will mean at least one in-person trip to the local grocery store.
So, in the foreign territory of baby products, Google Translate is your friend. Or you could do what I did and guess, leaving El Supermercado with a 124-pack of things that look like baby nappies, but are very much not.
Embrace it
Once you’ve settled in, gotten over any jet lag, and perhaps abolished whatever ambitious itinerary you previously had planned, you’ll be left with nothing, but some beautiful memories to make.
Even the harder instances will be anecdotal tidbits you laugh at with friends down the line, hopefully. And while your baby might not ever specifically recall this trip, it’s worth parents remembering that travelling at this age and exposing them to new experiences, sights and sounds is absolutely invaluable. Plus, they fly for free under two, so enjoy that while you can.
