21 reasons why this Swede should update his YouTube highlights video



Maybe it is time for Yanick Djouzi Manzizila to update his highlights video on YouTube.

Because earlier this week, the Swede broke a 60-year-old national scoring record with 21 goals in a single game. In the most recent video of him I found online – it was uploaded two years ago – Manzizila did a good job of spreading the field and hugging the left flank. But at no point, not once during this excruciating four-minute video, did he put the ball in the net.

I don’t think he even managed a shot on goal.

Now he has 21 reasons to replace this video. I just hope someone at this Division Seven league match was diligent with the video camera option on their mobile phone.

Because, unfortunately, that guady amount of goals will not be added to Manzizila’s season tally after his demoralised opponents quit the league.

Manzizila scored almost at will for Kongo United as they beat Balrog Botkyrka Sodertaelje – who had three players sent off – 30-0 in their Division Seven league clash.

“I’d scored 12 goals against them previously, so I knew there was a chance to score a lot of goals,” Manzizila told the Sportbladet newspaper.

With twin brother Alex as playmaker and facing eight players by the end of the match, Manzizila had it all too easy against a team that had failed to earn a point all season.

Swedish football historian and statistician Claes-Goran Bengtsson confirmed that 21 goals in a game was a Swedish record, but the gloss was taken off Manzizila’s achievement when Balrog subsequently withdrew from the league.

Their decision means the 21 goals will be chalked off – as will all the team’s results for the season – although Manzizila’s individual scoring record will stand.

“There’s not much that can be done about it,” Manzizila said on receiving the news that his goals would not count towards his season target.

“I’ll have to be happy with the fact that I broke [the record] and continue to focus on scoring a hundred goals instead.”

Sounds delightful, Mr Century Man. Just do everyone a favour and make sure a video camera is rolling next time.

If you feel like wasting the next four minutes of your life, be sure to play the video clip below...

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Company name: baraka
Started: July 2020
Founders: Feras Jalbout and Kunal Taneja
Based: Dubai and Bahrain
Sector: FinTech
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Family: He is the youngest of five brothers, of whom two are dentists. 

Celebrities he worked on: Fabio Canavaro, Lojain Omran, RedOne, Saber Al Rabai.

Where he works: Liberty Dental Clinic 

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How has net migration to UK changed?

The figure was broadly flat immediately before the Covid-19 pandemic, standing at 216,000 in the year to June 2018 and 224,000 in the year to June 2019.

It then dropped to an estimated 111,000 in the year to June 2020 when restrictions introduced during the pandemic limited travel and movement.

The total rose to 254,000 in the year to June 2021, followed by steep jumps to 634,000 in the year to June 2022 and 906,000 in the year to June 2023.

The latest available figure of 728,000 for the 12 months to June 2024 suggests levels are starting to decrease.

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Dust and sand storms compared

Sand storm

  • Particle size: Larger, heavier sand grains
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Dust storm

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Top 10 locations for inquiries from US house hunters, according to Rightmove

  1. Edinburgh, Scotland 
  2. Westminster, London 
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  4. Glasgow, Scotland 
  5. Islington, London 
  6. Kensington and Chelsea, London 
  7. Highlands, Scotland 
  8. Argyll and Bute, Scotland 
  9. Fife, Scotland 
  10. Tower Hamlets, London 

 

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What is the Supreme Petroleum Council?

The Abu Dhabi Supreme Petroleum Council was established in 1988 and is the highest governing body in Abu Dhabi’s oil and gas industry. The council formulates, oversees and executes the emirate’s petroleum-related policies. It also approves the allocation of capital spending across state-owned Adnoc’s upstream, downstream and midstream operations and functions as the company’s board of directors. The SPC’s mandate is also required for auctioning oil and gas concessions in Abu Dhabi and for awarding blocks to international oil companies. The council is chaired by Sheikh Khalifa, the President and Ruler of Abu Dhabi while Sheikh Mohamed bin Zayed, Abu Dhabi’s Crown Prince and Deputy Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces, is the vice chairman.

UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – FINAL RECKONING

Director: Christopher McQuarrie

Starring: Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell, Simon Pegg

Rating: 4/5

AVOID SCAMMERS: TIPS FROM EMIRATES NBD

1. Never respond to e-mails, calls or messages asking for account, card or internet banking details

2. Never store a card PIN (personal identification number) in your mobile or in your wallet

3. Ensure online shopping websites are secure and verified before providing card details

4. Change passwords periodically as a precautionary measure

5. Never share authentication data such as passwords, card PINs and OTPs  (one-time passwords) with third parties

6. Track bank notifications regarding transaction discrepancies

7. Report lost or stolen debit and credit cards immediately

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