We are all winning the race in our way

Women should not allow patronising remarks to deter them, says Shelina Zanra Janmohamed

Saudi Arabia's Sarah Attar during the women's 800m heats at the London 2012 Olympics. (Diego Azubel / EPA)

her say

Three years ago in London, Sarah Attar made history by becoming the first Saudi woman to take part in an Olympics. She came last in her 800 metre heat, but crossed the line to a standing ovation. Hers was not a failure, but a victory that will open doors for other women.

I felt a huge wave of elation at her participation. I’ve never done anything as remarkable as taking part in the Olympics, but in every barrier that I’ve broken, no matter how small, I hope that I have left one less challenge for women behind me to face.

When I went to Oxford, I was challenged about why a woman needed such a grand education. After all, wasn’t I going to get married and stay home to look after the children? Today, the daughters of those families have followed on to university education and high-flying jobs.

When I spoke up about the experiences of Muslim women, I was told to hush because I was too oppressed to make my own choices. Instead, mine was among of a range of voices that opened the way for more Muslim women to speak up.

Women’s voices are too often ignored as frivolous, airheaded, emotional and lacking in logic. The perception of women being pathetic, helpless and somehow not quite as capable as men is so embedded into our societal norms that we don’t even notice them.

So it was good to see India’s prime minister, Narendra Modi, being thoroughly pilloried on social media for praising the tough stance on terrorism taken by Bangladesh’s female leader, Sheikh Hasina, “despite being a woman”.

When high-profile figures let slip the patronising way they sometimes see women, it is important that they are held to account. While this has some trickle down effect into ordinary life, it’s too easy to feel smug after a Twitter storm and feel that women’s place and achievements have been asserted. Instead, the intense outrage should be a reminder that attitudes that consider men to be the baseline and women as sub par run wide and deep. And that includes among women. We all need to check that “despite being a woman” we are not also perpetuating ideas that women are of less value than men.

Last year, the feminine products brand Always launched a campaign called “Like a girl” that showed that even women interpreted this phrase as meaning girls are a bit pathetic and hopeless. They were filmed running “like a girl”, throwing “like a girl” and crying “like a girl”, where they acted helpless and wilting. But when challenged to reconsider what strengths a girl really has, their own attitudes to themselves changed and they performed their actions this time with purpose, strength and direction.

We’ve all heard something like “don’t worry your pretty little head” when dealing with a problem. Women are often mocked for lacking capability to succeed, or shown surprise when they do succeed. In fact it is opportunity to excel that has been denied.

Even if we do try and fail, it’s the first step towards ensuring we are building capabilities and we are changing the norm so no one ever says we reached our goals “despite being a woman”. Just like the participation of Sarah Attar at the Olympics , it should remind us that every failure simply brings us one step closer to victory.

Shelina Zahra Janmohamed is the author of Love in a Headscarf and blogs at www. spirit21.co.uk