The women’s majlis: Fulfilment is a step out from the crowd

Often we feel most comfortable when alone. We can think and do whatever we want freely, and without fear of judgement. There in our heads we have our safe little corner that we can escape to whenever we want, knowing for sure that this is a space no one will ever invade or be exposed to without our permission. And most people prefer to keep that space private and not share it with others.

I believe if we took samples from those spaces and played them on a screen and compared them to their living reality, we would notice a tremendous difference between what people really want to do and what they are actually doing.

I am certain that most of us have asked ourselves this question: why do some people stand out while others don’t? Were they born with special creative genes? Or is there some kind of magic potion that is sold by little fairies that only they know about? The answer is: of course not. Everyone can be equally creative. However – and here is where the trick is – believing in your abilities and eliminating all other negative factors is really important to succeed.

In my last year of high school, like all other students, I was asked what career path I wanted to take. At that time that I wanted to become a doctor, because everybody likes doctors! They are smart, well-­respected, they save lives and of course becoming a doctor would make my family and the whole society proud of me.

And that’s what I did. I joined a medical college and everything went fine – at first. In my second year, I started feeling that something was wrong, that I didn’t feel the happiness I thought I would feel, and this feeling kept on growing as I proceeded. Finally it hit me in my fourth year, something I call a “moment of ­realisation”.

I asked myself: what is the main purpose behind me walking this path, and for the first time I gave myself an honest answer and I said it out loud: this is not me; even though I’m good at it that doesn’t mean that it reflects my true being. I have always been passionate about art and psychology, and everything I do or talk about proves it. That was the moment that changed my life. That’s when I decided to quit and show the world my true self.

I remember that feeling clearly; it was like a storm that swallowed every negative thought that was standing in its way. I forgot what fear is and did not care about others’ expectations or disappointments. All I thought about was I have finally accepted that I am different and it was time for me to step out of my comfort zone and stand out in the crowd.

Many people thought I was making the wrong decision and it was such a waste to not finish what I had started – especially since I was one year away from graduating. But my feelings were too strong. I had made a decision and I had to commit to it. It’s been almost six years since then, and I still tell myself that it was the best decision I have ever made.

Zainab Al Mousawi, 26, studied psychology and digital media in Australia and is currently working at Mafraq hospital as a clinical social worker.