I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 25 years ago at age 16. From day one, I knew this disease was going to get in the way of my independence. The week I was diagnosed, I asked a doctor how I should handle my blood sugar when I played in the season opener for my high-school football team the next week. He looked at me, wide-eyed, and said, “You can’t play in that game”. My defiant 16-year-old self would not take no for an answer, so I played that game. I scored three goals. I had something to prove to myself, to that doctor and to this new, weird disease.
That experience was the first of many in which I would hear a voice say “you can’t” because of type 1 diabetes. “You can’t play all those sports. You can’t live alone. You can’t work that many hours in that kind of career. You can’t have children. You can’t, you can’t, you can’t…” Twenty-five years later, I have done all of those things, but it has not been without extraordinary effort.
My life has been underlined with finger sticks, risky high blood sugars, dangerously low blood sugars, insulin shots, emergency room trips, life-saving injections of glucagon (sugar), carb-counting, too many doctor’s visits to count and somewhere around Dh3.6 million worth of medication and health care.
I am incredibly watchful over my blood sugar levels. I take at least four insulin injections every day. I stick my finger with a needle to check my blood sugar six times a day (that’s 55,000 finger sticks so far). When people learn I have type 1, they often say “but you look so healthy”. Well, I am healthy for the most part. I exercise. I eat well. But none of that will take type 1 away. I need insulin injections to stay alive. Keeping my sugar levels as close to normal as possible is a constant struggle. It’s a lot of guesswork, a lot of insulin adjustments, a lot of daily frustration.
My endocrinologist raised her eyebrows when I told her I was a food writer and a restaurant critic. This isn’t an easy gig for someone with type 1 diabetes. But as long as I take enough insulin to cover the carbohydrates I’m eating, I can keep my blood sugars in check. During every review, I’m not just eating. I’m also checking my blood sugar, counting carbohydrates and taking insulin. It’s tough to know how many carbs are in restaurant meals so I have to make a well-educated guess. After I order, I head to the restroom to take a shot of insulin to cover the food I’m about to eat. I don’t always get it right. Sometimes I need a correction dose a few hours after the meal. Other times, I take too much insulin and have to get my blood sugar back up by eating more. It’s my duty as a food critic to give readers an honest account of a complete meal and that includes dessert. Contrary to popular belief, type 1 diabetics can eat dessert as long as we take insulin to cover it.
Obviously, eating all that food can cause weight gain, so I do CrossFit five days a week. I can’t be a food writer and stay healthy without a rigid exercise routine. But that, too, can wreak havoc on blood sugar levels. High-intensity exercise can drastically lower my blood sugar, which makes insulin dosing challenging.
It’s a disease that takes work every minute of every day. It is never easy. I often wonder if I’ve taken on challenges in this life that I might not have if I was never diagnosed with type 1. I know it’s made me a stronger, more resilient, more determined version of myself. Truthfully, I’m probably living a better life because of type 1 diabetes, not in spite of it.
Stacie Overton Johnson is The National’s food writer
