Guest column: Jillian Michaels on juggling being a fitness guru with being a mum

Jillian Michaels talks about the struggle of managing fitness while being a mother of two.

Personal Trainer Jillian Michaels. Vincent Sandoval / WireImage / Getty Images

Maria Shriver – the American author, activist and former wife of Arnold Schwarzenegger – said it best: “You can have it all, but you can’t have it all at the same time.” When it comes to fitness and nutrition, I’m totally confident in what I do. I’m one of the top individuals in the world when it comes to helping people get lean, lose weight and start eating in a healthy way. Other than that, I’m your average person. I’m not the best mum or partner or businesswoman in the world.

I’ve learnt being a busy mum isn’t a perfect juggling act. I get it; you have to put your kids first because they can’t put themselves first, but it’s important to make a little time for everything and know that it will be good enough. What I try to do is put my kids first, but then I try to take 12 hours a week for myself. It sounds like a lot, but it really isn’t that much. Think about it, if you sleep eight hours a night then you have 16 hours a day times seven, so you’re working with 120 hours or so a week. I like to give myself 10 per cent for doctor’s appointments, getting to the gym, seeing friends. It’s that 12 hours a week that I need to really make things work.

Women often feel guilty about taking that time and they end up feeling depleted and exhausted, and your kids know when you’re not happy or are feeling overwhelmed. That’s not doing anyone any favours. Taking care of yourself shows that your thoughts and feelings matter.

A lot of kids feel responsible for their mother’s happiness. My mum went to the gym and took care of herself and I always admired her. She sent me the message that although I was her number one priority, she also needed to take care of her own health and happiness so she could be there for me in the best possible way.

My family is not perfect, no family is – that’s part of life. But, they’re the most important people in the world, so why wouldn’t you want to give your children and your babies every opportunity to have affluence, abundant energy and confidence? When you’re strong, every other aspect of your life is strong. Your health is the centre-point to finding your sense of self, and I want my kids to feel empowered.

To do this, we raise our kids “free range”. My kids don’t know what Minecraft is, they don’t play computer games, they watch half an hour of television a day and participate in lots of activities. I think because I was so unhealthy as a kid, when people work with me they know this is someone who is not genetically fit. I’ve been there, using food as a coping mechanism, and I’m the perfect candidate for obesity. With the right inspiration and information, you can transform yourself.

My words of encouragement for other busy parents: don’t go for perfect. You’re not going to get everything right. That’s kind of the point, we’re imperfect creatures. If we have self-awareness and realise the areas we need to work on, then that makes us the best possible parents. Give yourself a break. You can’t do it all and you can’t do it all perfectly: it’s about effort.

As told to Jordi Lippe.