The women’s majlis: Keep movie-screen fantasies out of reality

Manar Al Hinai says that, for happier lives, we should be more realistic.

I admit that I’m a dreamer. I want to achieve so many things before my time on Earth is up. I have certain aspirations for my writing career and just as many for my social work. I believe that any person can achieve what they set their mind to. Passion combined with determination can achieve what one assumes to be impossible.

There’s nothing wrong with having certain dreams for your personal life. But there’s a fine line between dreams and fantasies.

The other day, my friend walked in late to a coffee date and didn’t look quite right. I was concerned and asked her if everything was fine.

She sighed and told me that her brother will break up with his fiancée. I was taken aback. “What do you mean? I thought they were crazy about each other?”

“They were,” she said. “But that’s until she showed her true, crazy colours.”

My friend’s brother’s fiancée is a major movie fan. She devotes her free time to watching drama. The more a movie brings tears to her eyes, the better it rates.

They recently got into a disagreement and she told him that the only way he could make it up to her was if he came to her family’s house, bent down on one knee and sang her favourite song to her as she looked down from her balcony window.

Then, after that, he should walk inside, present her with a token of apology and confess his love for her in front of her parents and siblings.

She stated that this is what the main character had done in her favourite movie and that this was the only way that she will accept his apology and forgive him.

I don’t recall finishing my tea or cake that day. I was in a state of shock. That girl was willing to break up with her fiancé and end what could be a wonderful, lasting relationship with a husband that would adore her, because he did not fulfil a fantasy.

I went to bed that night contemplating that thought. Have we been fed the wrong information since we were kids? Did playing with perfect Barbie and Ken dolls mess up our expectations? Do we expect to meet our Prince Charming at a ball who would madly fall in love and propose marriage before the clock strikes midnight?

Are we so hooked up in movie-like happy endings that we cannot accept the reality of our society and current situation anymore?

Some of these questions might remain unanswered. But we should appreciate the blessings that we have and remain assured that the grass is greener on our side.

We won’t be able to enjoy little meaningful gestures anymore if we keep comparing them to what we read in books and watch on-screen.

We cannot always expect things to be picture-perfect, because things in life are not; they’re real, which beats fictional perfection.

Fantasies are sometimes good. They detach us from the world and take us a to a happy place. But not when they have a negative effect on our lives. Draw a line between fantasies and dreams, and remember that though fantasies might give you a warm, tingly feeling, nothing beats something real.

Manar Al Hinai is an award-winning Emirati writer. Follow her blog at and Twitter @manar_alhinai

Follow us @LifeNationalUAE

Follow us on Facebook for discussions, entertainment, reviews, wellness and news.

Published: May 29, 2014 04:00 AM


Editor's Picks
Sign up to:

* Please select one