"She's my first wife," says one proud young Emirati. "She completes me," says another. They are, of course, referring to their cars.
In a short film, Al Zawja Al Thania (Second Wife), Emirati filmmaker Moaza al Sharif shows clips of 15 UAE nationals, young and old, male and female, talking about their attitudes towards cars. The movie premiered at the Gulf Film Festival in Dubai, which ended last week.
It takes the form of a series of talking heads, often shot alongside their cars, explaining how they feel about their pride and joy. The man talk is every now and again tempered by contrasting feminine views and pictures of high-powered cars performing burnouts and doughnuts on public roads. It provides a highly entertaining quarter of an hour; however for true petrolheads, it might come as a reality shock.
"I didn't get married because of cars," says one of the older characters, who takes a more pragmatic line to his all-consuming vehicular passion. While most of the audience laughed, some men looked more than a little pained.
Al Sharif explains her inspiration for Second Wife. "My brother was joking with me one day, asking why we should spend so much money on weddings when he would just rather buy a car," she says. "When I looked into this, I found out that there are plenty of other guys who think this same way."
Indeed, the nuptial theme carries on. "What do I think of getting engaged?" asks one of the protagonists. "I'd say no. I'd get engaged to another car in the showroom."
But in spite of the considerable on-screen support for this viewpoint, al Sharif contends that the movie's meaning is quite the opposite. "The message I wanted to send out through the documentary is this: don't compare a wife with your car," she explains. "Your car is just something you use to take you from place to place. It is not something you should spend all your time with. Also, I looked at why men over-exaggerate their love for their cars.
"I spoke to this one guy during the filming. He was going to have a birthday party for his car. He was even going to have somebody bake a cake for it to celebrate his car's birthday. And others are the same. I met guys who actually sleep in their car; they keep clothes in the boot and change there. They consider their car to be a house because they clean it so much and spend so much time in it."
Second Wife takes the central tenet of documentary filmmaking very seriously: the camera does not judge or lampoon. Instead, it uses a well-balanced range of viewpoints, and the words and expressions of the subjects make all the points for al Sharif without her needing to editorialise.
It is both a light-hearted look at a subject that is central to Emirati life and a quirky social analysis. But it does not aspire to be anything more than it appears on the screen: documentary entertainment.
Throughout the feature, though, it is clear to see how most of the subjects really do live for their vehicles. For a right-thinking audience, their opinions would be watched with horror and astonishment.
It chronicles those who spend 90 per cent of their income on their car payments. It shows those who shirk their household chores, but who are happy to change a cylinder head in a split second. And, of course, it tells the story of the car lovers firm in the belief that their brides will always come second to their rides.
The film is part of al Sharif's coursework at Dubai Women's College; there are no plans for a release at present.
motoring@thenational.ae
Rock in a Hard Place: Music and Mayhem in the Middle East
Orlando Crowcroft
Zed Books
Slow loris biog
From: Lonely Loris is a Sunda slow loris, one of nine species of the animal native to Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand and Singapore
Status: Critically endangered, and listed as vulnerable on the International Union for Conservation of Nature red list due to growing demand in the global exotic pet trade. It is one of the most popular primate species found at Indonesian pet markets
Likes: Sleeping, which they do for up to 18 hours a day. When they are awake, they like to eat fruit, insects, small birds and reptiles and some types of vegetation
Dislikes: Sunlight. Being a nocturnal animal, the slow loris wakes around sunset and is active throughout the night
Superpowers: His dangerous elbows. The slow loris’s doe eyes may make it look cute, but it is also deadly. The only known venomous primate, it hisses and clasps its paws and can produce a venom from its elbow that can cause anaphylactic shock and even death in humans
The major Hashd factions linked to Iran:
Badr Organisation: Seen as the most militarily capable faction in the Hashd. Iraqi Shiite exiles opposed to Saddam Hussein set up the group in Tehran in the early 1980s as the Badr Corps under the supervision of the Iran Revolutionary Guards Corps (IRGC). The militia exalts Iran’s Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei but intermittently cooperated with the US military.
Saraya Al Salam (Peace Brigade): Comprised of former members of the officially defunct Mahdi Army, a militia that was commanded by Iraqi cleric Moqtada Al Sadr and fought US and Iraqi government and other forces between 2004 and 2008. As part of a political overhaul aimed as casting Mr Al Sadr as a more nationalist and less sectarian figure, the cleric formed Saraya Al Salam in 2014. The group’s relations with Iran has been volatile.
Kataeb Hezbollah: The group, which is fighting on behalf of the Bashar Al Assad government in Syria, traces its origins to attacks on US forces in Iraq in 2004 and adopts a tough stance against Washington, calling the United States “the enemy of humanity”.
Asaeb Ahl Al Haq: An offshoot of the Mahdi Army active in Syria. Asaeb Ahl Al Haq’s leader Qais al Khazali was a student of Mr Al Moqtada’s late father Mohammed Sadeq Al Sadr, a prominent Shiite cleric who was killed during Saddam Hussein’s rule.
Harakat Hezbollah Al Nujaba: Formed in 2013 to fight alongside Mr Al Assad’s loyalists in Syria before joining the Hashd. The group is seen as among the most ideological and sectarian-driven Hashd militias in Syria and is the major recruiter of foreign fighters to Syria.
Saraya Al Khorasani: The ICRG formed Saraya Al Khorasani in the mid-1990s and the group is seen as the most ideologically attached to Iran among Tehran’s satellites in Iraq.
(Source: The Wilson Centre, the International Centre for the Study of Radicalisation)
What vitamins do we know are beneficial for living in the UAE
Vitamin D: Highly relevant in the UAE due to limited sun exposure; supports bone health, immunity and mood.
Vitamin B12: Important for nerve health and energy production, especially for vegetarians, vegans and individuals with absorption issues.
Iron: Useful only when deficiency or anaemia is confirmed; helps reduce fatigue and support immunity.
Omega-3 (EPA/DHA): Supports heart health and reduces inflammation, especially for those who consume little fish.
ARSENAL IN 1977
Feb 05 Arsenal 0-0 Sunderland
Feb 12 Manchester City 1-0 Arsenal
Feb 15 Middlesbrough 3-0 Arsenal
Feb 19 Arsenal 2-3 West Ham
Feb 26 Middlesbrough 4-1 Arsenal (FA Cup)
Mar 01 Everton 2-1 Arsenal
Mar 05 Arsenal 1-4 ipswich
March 08 Arsenal 1-2 West Brom
Mar 12 QPR 2-1 Arsenal
Mar 23 Stoke 1-1 Arsenal
Apr 02 Arsenal 3-0 Leicester
The%20specs
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World record transfers
1. Kylian Mbappe - to Real Madrid in 2017/18 - €180 million (Dh770.4m - if a deal goes through)
2. Paul Pogba - to Manchester United in 2016/17 - €105m
3. Gareth Bale - to Real Madrid in 2013/14 - €101m
4. Cristiano Ronaldo - to Real Madrid in 2009/10 - €94m
5. Gonzalo Higuain - to Juventus in 2016/17 - €90m
6. Neymar - to Barcelona in 2013/14 - €88.2m
7. Romelu Lukaku - to Manchester United in 2017/18 - €84.7m
8. Luis Suarez - to Barcelona in 2014/15 - €81.72m
9. Angel di Maria - to Manchester United in 2014/15 - €75m
10. James Rodriguez - to Real Madrid in 2014/15 - €75m