At a recent dinner, surrounded by other Arab women, I saw it as inevitable that the conversation turned to the internet's current kindling: the Beckhams.
For those unacquainted with the situation, reports of tension between Brooklyn Beckham and his parents, fashion designer and singer Victoria and former footballer David Beckham, have been circulating for some time. Gossip columns and online forums have spent months analysing social media posts, along with follows and unfollows, in an attempt to make sense of the rumoured distancing.
Brooklyn, the eldest Beckham child who married actor and heiress Nicola Peltz Beckham in April 2022, shared a six-slide story post on Instagram, in which he aired his side of the family drama, ensuring the public knows his opinion on the matter. “I do not want to reconcile with my family,” it read.
Aside from giving AI enthusiasts the green light to flex their muscles by recreating Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham's alleged “inappropriate” hijack of the newlyweds' first dance, the post also prompted strong opinions.
In response, as with many celebrity feuds before this one, the internet has split into two camps: those supporting Brooklyn, who grew up in the public eye without a choice in the matter, and those supporting Victoria and David, the powerhouse couple who have used the media circus to build an empire.
However, during our dinner, there appeared to be a clear winner. It struck me that none of the women around the table, many of whom are mothers themselves, had much sympathy for a seemingly ungrateful child who shouldn’t air his affairs in public. They took the side of family and honour. It's a sentiment I also saw echoed online among Arab influencers and comedians keen to have their say.
Syrian-American comedian Nasser Al-Rayess, 28, waded into the debate on social media, saying this situation would have a low chance of occurring in an Arab family because children are taught to “respect the family, habibi”. In response, almost all of the 200 comments below were in complete agreement. Some chimed in that just the thought of embarrassing an Arab mother is enough to keep everyone in line.
What is being expressed is a shared belief that the family unit should take precedence, a value that's perhaps more prominent in eastern cultures.
British-Asian author and comedian Shabaz Ali, 28, threw in a curve-ball. He related the dispute to the average Pakistani family adjusting to a new daughter-in-law, advising Brooklyn to stay on the side of (even more) money. After all, while the Beckham brand is worth an estimated $672 million, Nicola is the heiress of billionaire businessman Nelson Peltz. Responding to comments, Ali simply added, “families are complicated”.
Various other narratives abound online. Some sympathise with Brooklyn, a man who has spent his whole life in front of cameras, a commodity in the Beckham brand since birth. Many have come out in support of “speaking his truth” and “taking control of the narrative”.
While people from all walks of life say they understand Brooklyn's point of view, my dinner table discussion seemed to highlight how different cultures value the individual over the family unit.
It's generally considered that, in the West, there is a firmer belief in the right of the individual. And this, say academics, is on the rise in the social media age.
Steven Mintz, a cultural historian and fellow at the Centre for Advanced Study in Behavioural Sciences at Stanford University, analysed the East-West difference in his essay The Rise of the Self.
Mintz argues that hyperindividualism has been amplified by social media and is thus transforming western societies. “While individualism has driven much progress, it must be balanced with a sense of shared responsibility and community engagement,” says Mintz.
Whilst his paper is not about the Beckham saga and family dynamics, it does shed light on a generational and cultural divide.
At the end of my dinner party, the divide between the East and West was clear. The Arab mothers shared jokes on how they would react if their sons dared to choose a new wife over their original family, even ending the debate with the creation of a WhatsApp group chat named “Team VB”.
