Dos and don'ts of helping children with homework - how much is too much?

Education experts explain why wrong answers can be right for pupils and how parents can offer guidance without proffering solutions

Allow children to arrive at their own answers by asking open-ended questions related to the homework, suggest experts. Getty Images

As children make their way back to school this week, parents are busy buying uniforms, restoring a sleep routine, meeting new teachers, and thinking of healthy lunch ideas.

But once in the swing of the new term, other conundrums tend to follow, such as how much should parents help with homework.

While every guardian and caregiver will likely have their own opinions – and motivations – about their role in school worksheets, essays and projects, education experts share consistent advice on how much help is too much.

Here are some homework rules to know and follow.

Do: Understand why homework is given

With school lasting for up to eight hours a day, parents and pupils might wonder why homework is set at all.

“Home learning provides structure for the development of organisational skills, time management and independent thinking,” says Lorna Deakin, secondary principal at Dove Green Private School.

“It should not be a bolt-on, but always connected to class learning. Sometimes this may be ‘flipped learning’ – activities designed to prepare students for what is to come in a future lesson, such as reading an article or watching a short clip, preparing questions or a summary. Other times, home learning is about consolidation of knowledge learnt in a lesson, or research and problem-solving activities designed to make students question and think outside the box,” Deakin explains.

Learning independent problem-solving and time management are additional benefits of homework. It also gives students another opportunity to review class material and parents the chance to see what is being learnt in school.

Don't: Jump in with the answers right away

Rushing through homework and giving children the answers means teachers will be unaware of knowledge gaps. Getty Images

Giving all the answers to children is one of the biggest mistakes a parent can make, and the temptation can stem from a variety of motivations.

“Jumping in too quickly to give the answer rather than allowing the child time to think through the problem is a common mistake,” says Chandini Misra, principal at Repton Al Barsha. “Remember, your child should be working harder than you. Too much guidance, or always starting each activity for them can prevent children from developing problem-solving skills.”

Liam Walsh, teacher and educational consultant at Dubai's education community Learning To Achieve, adds: “It’s absolutely fine that children get things wrong as it shows teachers what area they need to focus on with that child. From a teacher’s perspective, if most children cannot answer a particular question, then perhaps the homework wasn’t presented well and teachers can learn from that.”

With an aim to help grow your child’s independent thinking, reasoning and cognitive development, asking guiding questions to help them find their own answers is more beneficial than giving instant solutions.

“Parents are encouraged to ask open-ended questions related to the homework to allow the child to think critically and arrive at the answer on their own,” says Gillian Hammond, a school principal in the UAE. “If they are struggling, encourage them to explain their thought process to you so that they can identify what it is they do not understand. Instead of giving them the answer outright, provide clues or ask questions to help steer them in the right direction.”

Questions such as “What can you do to find out?”, “What do you need to complete this task?” and “Have you looked at last lesson’s work?” can show children the different pathways to finding solutions, which they can they apply independently.

“Making a child feel safe enough to take a risk and attempt something, knowing they may get it wrong, allows them to grow and understand that we learn best by making mistakes,” says Deakin. “It’s OK not to know everything.”

Don't: Complete projects on their behalf

Parents who are tempted to step in to take over or complete tasks can erode self-confidence and a child’s belief in their ability. It can also rob young minds of the sense of achievement when they arrive at the right answer through their own effort, and remove the chance to learn the lessons that come from making mistakes.

“We know that some parents complete homework projects for their child, which defeats the real purpose of homework,” says Hammond. “This decreases the child’s confidence in their learning and stifles their sense of independence. We want students to learn through discovery.”

Do: Reach out to teachers to voice concerns

Children can gain confidence and become active participants in their learning process by working through their own projects and assignments. Getty Images

Certain homework technology that allows children to keep repeating the same modules over and over may encourage them to think they need to keep going until they achieve full marks, when it is their initial attempt that is often the most revealing and best able to give educators a clearer picture of the child’s development

“It is more valuable to share with a teacher the struggles our children experience and what they don’t know yet than to see a perfect score,” says Deakin.

Homework can also give teachers valuable feedback by seeing if there are any gaps in the curriculum or collective blind spots in class learning – for example, a majority of students struggling with the same question. This would become quickly apparent if it is the children who are completing the work, but would remain undetected if parents answer for them.

Don't: Become fixated on homework grades

One of the traps parents can fall into with homework is believing their children need to achieve 100 per cent in all lessons, or that this is what teachers expect.

Fixating on grades can lead to excessive pressure or anxiety felt by the child, which can encourage approaches to homework and schooling that are not helpful in the long term.

“When parents are overly critical of their child, this can demotivate children and make them feel anxious and insecure about home learning. It is important to support children with their learning if they ask for help, but we recommend avoiding micromanaging or hovering over the child constantly,” says Deakin.

Signs you’re doing too much

Driven by a desire to help, parents might be unaware they’re overdoing it when it comes to helping with homework.

“If the parent is answering questions more often than the child, or the child is consistently relying on them instead of trying first on their own, these are signs of overreliance,” says Misra. “Other signs include the parent getting frustrated or taking control of the task, or the child losing interest because they aren’t actively engaged in finding solutions.”

Deakin adds: “As parents, we need to recognise that it is unlikely we can be experts in every subject our children are studying." She says parents should ask themselves whether it matters more to them or the child that they get it right, adding: "Additional learning that will support or stretch our children’s knowledge is an important one and the biggest question for every parent is: do I celebrate the effort or the result?”

A version of this story was first published in March, 2025