If computers ruled the world



Prince Charles is at it again. Having previously furrowed the royal brow at modern architects and fast-food outlets, he has turned his attention to computers. In Harmony, Charles's latest stab at the "stuff that bothers me" genre, he foresees a dark and not-too-distant time in which humans are so digitally dependent that they become estranged from the natural world. He has even coined a word to describe the condition: "Manchine."

But don't laugh. It appears that Britain's heir apparent might be on to something.

A few days after Charles's ominous portents made the news, tech journals were talking up a new iPhone app, called Take Five, which is aimed at - wait for it - people who momentarily pause the music on their devices then forget to press "play" and so end up sitting around with their headphones on listening to nothing. For a one-time payment of 99 cents (Dh3.5), the Take Five app will automatically restart paused music after a predetermined period, thereby sparing people this terrible fate.

There's so much wrong with this scenario, it's hard to know where to start shuddering. First, it suggests that people are too stupid to realise they're not listening to music when they'd really like to be, or that they're aware of this fact but lack the motivation and energy to do anything about it. Follow this logic to its conclusion, and we'd need apps that automatically download other apps that we didn't know we wanted. From here, we're only a step or two from 2001: A Space Odyssey.

And if Take Five didn't provide enough of a reason to despair, another i-app that was launched this month - a virtual companion that goes by the name of Alexandria - boasting such groundbreaking functions as: "Alexandria can detect exactly where you live." And this: "Hyper Advanced 3D Artificial Intelligence knows your name."

All this will probably come as a disappointment to those who've envisioned the human-computer hybrid of the future as being a kind of tragic-heroic figure, a cold and efficient being that has sacrificed its emotional and moral foundations for hyper-intelligence and super-strength. Even Prince Charles didn't go so far as to speculate that his Manchine might actually be a bit of an idiot.

But chronic stupidity seems to be where we're heading. As technology grows smarter, its users grow duller - this is becoming an immutable law, and it threatens to take us to some scary and ridiculous places. Today we need apps that tell us when to turn the music on, tomorrow we'll need them to alert us when we've forgotten to tie our laces, or to breathe.

There is a possibility that, in terms of human development, ridding ourselves of the need for practical knowledge will prove to be a good thing. After all, with Hyper Advanced 3D Artificial Intelligence at our disposal, we'll never have to bother ourselves with such trifles as who we are or where we live, which will clear space in our minds for more weighty matters, such how to get the high score playing Fruit Ninja.

COMPANY PROFILE

Company name: Klipit

Started: 2022

Founders: Venkat Reddy, Mohammed Al Bulooki, Bilal Merchant, Asif Ahmed, Ovais Merchant

Based: Dubai, UAE

Industry: Digital receipts, finance, blockchain

Funding: $4 million

Investors: Privately/self-funded

Sarfira

Director: Sudha Kongara Prasad

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Radhika Madan, Paresh Rawal

Rating: 2/5

Henrik Stenson's finishes at Abu Dhabi HSBC Championship:

2006 - 2
2007 - 8
2008 - 2
2009 - MC
2010 - 21
2011 - 42
2012 - MC
2013 - 23
2014 - MC
2015 - MC
2016 - 3
2017 - 8

Top 5 concerns globally:

1. Unemployment

2. Spread of infectious diseases

3. Fiscal crises

4. Cyber attacks

5. Profound social instability

Top 5 concerns in the Mena region

1. Energy price shock

2. Fiscal crises

3. Spread of infectious diseases

4. Unmanageable inflation

5. Cyber attacks

Source: World Economic Foundation

COMPANY PROFILE

Company name: Alaan
Started: 2021
Based: Dubai
Founders: Parthi Duraisamy and Karun Kurien
Sector: FinTech
Investment stage: $7 million raised in total — $2.5 million in a seed round and $4.5 million in a pre-series A round

RESULT

Everton 2 Huddersfield Town 0
Everton: 
Sigurdsson (47'), Calvert-Lewin (73')

Man of the Match: Dominic Calvert-Lewin (Everton)

WHAT IS A BLACK HOLE?

1. Black holes are objects whose gravity is so strong not even light can escape their pull

2. They can be created when massive stars collapse under their own weight

3. Large black holes can also be formed when smaller ones collide and merge

4. The biggest black holes lurk at the centre of many galaxies, including our own

5. Astronomers believe that when the universe was very young, black holes affected how galaxies formed

The specs

Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cyl turbo

Power: 247hp at 6,500rpm

Torque: 370Nm from 1,500-3,500rpm

Transmission: 10-speed auto

Fuel consumption: 7.8L/100km

Price: from Dh94,900

On sale: now

How it works

Each player begins with one of the great empires of history, from Julius Caesar's Rome to Ramses of Egypt, spread over Europe and the Middle East.

Round by round, the player expands their empire. The more land they have, the more money they can take from their coffers for each go.

As unruled land and soldiers are acquired, players must feed them. When a player comes up against land held by another army, they can choose to battle for supremacy.

A dice-based battle system is used and players can get the edge on their enemy with by deploying a renowned hero on the battlefield.

Players that lose battles and land will find their coffers dwindle and troops go hungry. The end goal? Global domination of course.

Know your camel milk:
Flavour: Similar to goat’s milk, although less pungent. Vaguely sweet with a subtle, salty aftertaste.
Texture: Smooth and creamy, with a slightly thinner consistency than cow’s milk.
Use it: In your morning coffee, to add flavour to homemade ice cream and milk-heavy desserts, smoothies, spiced camel-milk hot chocolate.
Goes well with: chocolate and caramel, saffron, cardamom and cloves. Also works well with honey and dates.

Results
  • Brock Lesnar retained the WWE Universal title against Roman Reigns
  • Braun Strowman and Nicolas won the Raw Tag Team titles against Sheamus and Cesaro
  • AJ Styles retained the WWE World Heavyweight title against Shinsuke Nakamura
  • Nia Jax won the Raw Women’s title against Alexa Bliss
  • Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon beat Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn
  • The Undertaker beat John Cena
  • The Bludgeon Brothers won the SmackDown Tag Team titles against the Usos and New Day
  • Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle beat Triple H and Stephanie McMahon
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  • Naomi won the first WrestleMania Women’s Battle Royal
  • Cedric Alexander won the vacant Cruiserweight title against Mustafa Ali
  • Matt Hardy won the Andre the Giant Battle Royal
Company profile

Company name: Fasset
Started: 2019
Founders: Mohammad Raafi Hossain, Daniel Ahmed
Based: Dubai
Sector: FinTech
Initial investment: $2.45 million
Current number of staff: 86
Investment stage: Pre-series B
Investors: Investcorp, Liberty City Ventures, Fatima Gobi Ventures, Primal Capital, Wealthwell Ventures, FHS Capital, VN2 Capital, local family offices

MATCH INFO

Qalandars 112-4 (10 ovs)

Banton 53 no

Northern Warriors 46 all out (9 ovs)

Kumara 3-10, Garton 3-10, Jordan 2-2, Prasanna 2-7

Qalandars win by six wickets

The biog

Name: Sari Al Zubaidi

Occupation: co-founder of Cafe di Rosati

Age: 42

Marital status: single

Favourite drink: drip coffee V60

Favourite destination: Bali, Indonesia 

Favourite book: 100 Years of Solitude