Normally, of course, people do not punch horses. When a football fan does, a logical assumption is that it would be the most embarrassing moment of his club's season.
Not at Newcastle United, however. There is stiff competition for that unwanted honour.
Perhaps it was the 3-0 loss to Sunderland, their heaviest top-flight derby defeat since 1966. Maybe it was Saturday's 6-0 thrashing by Liverpool, statistically their worst result at home for 87 years. Worse still, it may prove to be a second relegation in the space of five years.
It remains unlikely, not least because Newcastle have a four-point advantage over Wigan Athletic, who are third bottom, and a game against already-demoted Queens Park Rangers to come. And yet, while others are accelerating towards safety, United seem to be flailing in quicksand, both going nowhere and sinking at the same time.
For some, remembering the dark days of 2009, history is repeating itself. And yet what makes their current plight all the more surprising is how marked the differences are. That was a side which, if not constructed quite as cluelessly as the current QPR team, had a surfeit of ageing, overpaid players whose motivation could be questioned.
Newcastle seemed to have learnt lessons, looking for younger, hungrier footballers and finding value in the transfer market.
Rewind four years and they had four managers in a season. Now they have one, granting Alan Pardew, along with his backroom staff, an eight-year contract. And yet, should they go from challenging for a place in the Champions League to the Championship in a year, that will featured prominently in the case for the prosecution.
Short-termism can be both institutionalised and damaging in football and yet attempts to guarantee stability can be frowned upon. Newcastle, a club that long veered between the extremes of emotion, looked to remain on an even keel.
Once the likeliest to sack a manager in the first few weeks of the season, they seemed to be suggesting Pardew was their equivalent of Sir Alex Ferguson, Arsene Wenger or David Moyes, men who produce results season after season.
He is the League Managers' Association's reigning manager of the year, though that title will soon be surrendered. Recognition a year ago seemed to cement Pardew's rehabilitation. He is less flash and brash than he was in his younger days and less likely to get carried away. Yet a worrying trend has recurred.
He suffers his own version of second-season syndrome, following an excellent year with an abject one. Seven months after West Ham United finished ninth and reached the FA Cup final in 2006, he was sacked with them deep in relegation trouble. A year after Newcastle came fifth, the model of overachievement followed by underachievement has been replicated.
The problem is that his personal performance has been mirrored by too many of his players.
Cheik Tiote, in particular, has deteriorated, an enforcer who only uses his muscle to concede free kicks. Newcastle's is a squad well stocked with defensive midfielders yet the back four were left unprotected against Liverpool. Despite a common language - there were nine French speakers on the pitch in the second half - there was a distinct lack of communication, especially at the back.
The impetus provided by the five January signings has been lost. The surge to ensure survival, aided by Papiss Cisse's flurry of last-minute goals, has become a fraught grind. The broader issues of Newcastle's decline are related, a lengthy injury list and the debilitating effects of the Europa League.
Stirring as their attempts to beat Benfica in the quarter-final were, they would have been better off had they never qualified for the continental competition. Less than seven weeks after eliminating the world's richest club, Anzhi Makhachkala, they are in danger of leaving its most lucrative league.
Ten days ago, after earning a draw at West Bromwich Albion that could prove priceless in the final reckoning, Pardew suggested he has a side that could finish in the top 10 next season. And so he does, with the class of Yohan Cabaye, the skill of Hatem Ben Arfa, the power of Moussa Sissoko and the promise of Davide Santon.
But the Italian, Tim Krul and Fabricio Coloccini are injured. Ben Arfa is not fully fit. Debuchy compounded a poor performance against Liverpool by getting sent off and is now suspended for Saturday's trip to West Ham.
Only Cisse has been finding the net - indeed no one else has more than one goal in the last dozen games - and their top scorer remains Demba Ba, who joined Chelsea on January 4.
Four years ago, their results got worse when it mattered most. Newcastle won only one of their last 13 games as they were demoted. Now, with a solitary victory in eight attempts, there are worrying parallels.
They should still stay up. But whereas 12 months ago, they were the club everyone wanted to emulate, the side who had punched way above their weight because of brilliant scouting across the channel, they could end this season with a unique distinction.
With their phalanx of players from Ligue 1, Newcastle might become the first French team to be relegated from the English top flight.
sports@thenational.ae
Follow us
@SprtNationalUAE
What vitamins do we know are beneficial for living in the UAE
Vitamin D: Highly relevant in the UAE due to limited sun exposure; supports bone health, immunity and mood.
Vitamin B12: Important for nerve health and energy production, especially for vegetarians, vegans and individuals with absorption issues.
Iron: Useful only when deficiency or anaemia is confirmed; helps reduce fatigue and support immunity.
Omega-3 (EPA/DHA): Supports heart health and reduces inflammation, especially for those who consume little fish.
BUNDESLIGA FIXTURES
Saturday, May 16 (kick-offs UAE time)
Borussia Dortmund v Schalke (4.30pm)
RB Leipzig v Freiburg (4.30pm)
Hoffenheim v Hertha Berlin (4.30pm)
Fortuna Dusseldorf v Paderborn (4.30pm)
Augsburg v Wolfsburg (4.30pm)
Eintracht Frankfurt v Borussia Monchengladbach (7.30pm)
Sunday, May 17
Cologne v Mainz (4.30pm),
Union Berlin v Bayern Munich (7pm)
Monday, May 18
Werder Bremen v Bayer Leverkusen (9.30pm)
Wicked: For Good
Director: Jon M Chu
Starring: Ariana Grande, Cynthia Erivo, Jonathan Bailey, Jeff Goldblum, Michelle Yeoh, Ethan Slater
Rating: 4/5
What is the definition of an SME?
SMEs in the UAE are defined by the number of employees, annual turnover and sector. For example, a “small company” in the services industry has six to 50 employees with a turnover of more than Dh2 million up to Dh20m, while in the manufacturing industry the requirements are 10 to 100 employees with a turnover of more than Dh3m up to Dh50m, according to Dubai SME, an agency of the Department of Economic Development.
A “medium-sized company” can either have staff of 51 to 200 employees or 101 to 250 employees, and a turnover less than or equal to Dh200m or Dh250m, again depending on whether the business is in the trading, manufacturing or services sectors.
Emergency
Director: Kangana Ranaut
Stars: Kangana Ranaut, Anupam Kher, Shreyas Talpade, Milind Soman, Mahima Chaudhry
Rating: 2/5
RACECARD
4.30pm Jebel Jais – Maiden (PA) Dh60,000 (Turf) 1,000m
5pm: Jabel Faya – Maiden (PA) Dh60,000 (T) 1,000m
5.30pm: Al Wathba Stallions Cup – Handicap (PA) Dh70,000 (T) 2,200m
6pm: The President’s Cup Prep – Conditions (PA) Dh100,000 (T) 2,200m
6.30pm: Abu Dhabi Equestrian Club – Prestige (PA) Dh125,000 (T) 1,600m
7pm: Al Ruwais – Group 3 (PA) Dh300,000 (T) 1,200m
7.30pm: Jebel Hafeet – Maiden (TB) Dh80,000 (T) 1,400m
Know your Camel lingo
The bairaq is a competition for the best herd of 50 camels, named for the banner its winner takes home
Namoos - a word of congratulations reserved for falconry competitions, camel races and camel pageants. It best translates as 'the pride of victory' - and for competitors, it is priceless
Asayel camels - sleek, short-haired hound-like racers
Majahim - chocolate-brown camels that can grow to weigh two tonnes. They were only valued for milk until camel pageantry took off in the 1990s
Millions Street - the thoroughfare where camels are led and where white 4x4s throng throughout the festival
Some of Darwish's last words
"They see their tomorrows slipping out of their reach. And though it seems to them that everything outside this reality is heaven, yet they do not want to go to that heaven. They stay, because they are afflicted with hope." - Mahmoud Darwish, to attendees of the Palestine Festival of Literature, 2008
His life in brief: Born in a village near Galilee, he lived in exile for most of his life and started writing poetry after high school. He was arrested several times by Israel for what were deemed to be inciteful poems. Most of his work focused on the love and yearning for his homeland, and he was regarded the Palestinian poet of resistance. Over the course of his life, he published more than 30 poetry collections and books of prose, with his work translated into more than 20 languages. Many of his poems were set to music by Arab composers, most significantly Marcel Khalife. Darwish died on August 9, 2008 after undergoing heart surgery in the United States. He was later buried in Ramallah where a shrine was erected in his honour.
The biog
Name: Dhabia Khalifa AlQubaisi
Age: 23
How she spends spare time: Playing with cats at the clinic and feeding them
Inspiration: My father. He’s a hard working man who has been through a lot to provide us with everything we need
Favourite book: Attitude, emotions and the psychology of cats by Dr Nicholes Dodman
Favourit film: 101 Dalmatians - it remind me of my childhood and began my love of dogs
Word of advice: By being patient, good things will come and by staying positive you’ll have the will to continue to love what you're doing
Scorline
Iraq 1-0 UAE
Iraq Hussein 28’
COMPANY%20PROFILE
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EName%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EQureos%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EUAE%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ELaunch%20year%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2021%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ENumber%20of%20employees%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E33%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESoftware%20and%20technology%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFunding%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%243%20million%0D%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
HIJRA
Starring: Lamar Faden, Khairiah Nathmy, Nawaf Al-Dhufairy
Director: Shahad Ameen
Rating: 3/5
ABU DHABI ORDER OF PLAY
Starting at 10am:
Daria Kasatkina v Qiang Wang
Veronika Kudermetova v Annet Kontaveit (10)
Maria Sakkari (9) v Anastasia Potapova
Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova v Ons Jabeur (15)
Donna Vekic (16) v Bernarda Pera
Ekaterina Alexandrova v Zarina Diyas
Five famous companies founded by teens
There are numerous success stories of teen businesses that were created in college dorm rooms and other modest circumstances. Below are some of the most recognisable names in the industry:
- Facebook: Mark Zuckerberg and his friends started Facebook when he was a 19-year-old Harvard undergraduate.
- Dell: When Michael Dell was an undergraduate student at Texas University in 1984, he started upgrading computers for profit. He starting working full-time on his business when he was 19. Eventually, his company became the Dell Computer Corporation and then Dell Inc.
- Subway: Fred DeLuca opened the first Subway restaurant when he was 17. In 1965, Mr DeLuca needed extra money for college, so he decided to open his own business. Peter Buck, a family friend, lent him $1,000 and together, they opened Pete’s Super Submarines. A few years later, the company was rebranded and called Subway.
- Mashable: In 2005, Pete Cashmore created Mashable in Scotland when he was a teenager. The site was then a technology blog. Over the next few decades, Mr Cashmore has turned Mashable into a global media company.
- Oculus VR: Palmer Luckey founded Oculus VR in June 2012, when he was 19. In August that year, Oculus launched its Kickstarter campaign and raised more than $1 million in three days. Facebook bought Oculus for $2 billion two years later.
The%20Beekeeper
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EDavid%20Ayer%C2%A0%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarring%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EJason%20Statham%2C%20Josh%20Hutcherson%2C%20Emmy%20Raver-Lampman%2C%20Minnie%20Driver%2C%20Jeremy%20Irons%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E3%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
More from Rashmee Roshan Lall
WORLD'S%2010%20HIGHEST%20MOUNTAINS
%3Cp%3E1.%09Everest%0D%3Cbr%3E2.%09K2%0D%3Cbr%3E3.%09Kangchenjunga%0D%3Cbr%3E4.%09Lhotse%0D%3Cbr%3E5.%09Makalu%0D%3Cbr%3E6.%09Cho%20Oyu%0D%3Cbr%3E7.%09Dhaulagiri%0D%3Cbr%3E8.%09Manaslu%0D%3Cbr%3E9.%09Nanga%20Parbat%0D%3Cbr%3E10.%09Annapurna%0D%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Sri Lanka-India Test series schedule
- 1st Test India won by 304 runs at Galle
- 2nd Test India won by innings and 53 runs at Colombo
- 3rd Test August 12-16 at Pallekele
Company%20profile
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EName%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EPurpl%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECo-founders%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EKarl%20Naim%2C%20Wissam%20Ghorra%2C%20Jean-Marie%20Khoueir%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EHub71%20in%20Abu%20Dhabi%20and%20Beirut%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2021%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ENumber%20of%20employees%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E12%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ESector%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFinTech%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EFunding%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%242%20million%26nbsp%3B%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
DIVINE%20INTERVENTOIN
%3Cp%3EStarring%3A%20Elia%20Suleiman%2C%20Manal%20Khader%2C%20Amer%20Daher%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EDirector%3A%20Elia%20Suleiman%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3ERating%3A%204.5%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The%20specs
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EEngine%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%201.5-litre%204-cylinder%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETransmission%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ECVT%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPower%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E119bhp%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETorque%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E145Nm%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPrice%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EDh%2C89%2C900%20(%2424%2C230)%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EOn%20sale%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3Enow%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
ZAYED SUSTAINABILITY PRIZE
Understand What Black Is
The Last Poets
(Studio Rockers)
The%20new%20Turing%20Test
%3Cp%3EThe%20Coffee%20Test%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cem%3EA%20machine%20is%20required%20to%20enter%20an%20average%20American%20home%20and%20figure%20out%20how%20to%20make%20coffee%3A%20find%20the%20coffee%20machine%2C%20find%20the%20coffee%2C%20add%20water%2C%20find%20a%20mug%20and%20brew%20the%20coffee%20by%20pushing%20the%20proper%20buttons.%3C%2Fem%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EProposed%20by%20Steve%20Wozniak%2C%20Apple%20co-founder%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Our legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants
The%20Little%20Mermaid%20
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Rob%20Marshall%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStars%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EHalle%20Bailey%2C%20Jonah%20Hauer-King%2C%20Melissa%20McCarthy%2C%20Javier%20Bardem%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2%2F5%3Cbr%3E%3Cbr%3E%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets