School's out for MBAs


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When King Henry VIII broke with the church in Rome, he shut England's monasteries. When Fidel Castro took power in Cuba, he did the same with Havana's casinos. So let's close down business schools to get into the spirit of the new financial order. In the past 20 years, the Master of Business Administration (MBA) factories have created the conditions that helped land the global economy in its mess.

They legitimised a pseudo-scientific approach to finance that turned out to be bogus. They promoted a management style that was too mechanistic and they formed a managerial elite more interested in rewards than producing lasting wealth for the economies in which they operated. There is little mistaking the growth of business schools, especially as the economy contracts and jobless bankers seek to boost their qualifications. Applications to MBA programmes last year rose at the fastest pace on record, according to the Graduate Management Admission Council in the US.

The trouble is, the last batch of MBA graduates who rose to the top made such a hash of things it is hard to believe the next will do much better. The people who steered the global economy on to the rocks all benefited from the finest management education that money can buy. Richard Fuld, the chief executive of Lehman Brothers when it collapsed, has an MBA from New York University. John Thain, the former chief executive of Merrill Lynch is a graduate of Harvard Business School. Christopher Cox, the former chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission, has an MBA from Harvard University. And so does George W Bush, the former US president.

The record isn't much better in Europe. Andy Hornby, the chief executive of the British bank HBOS is another Harvard Business School graduate. HBOS had to be bailed out in a merger with Lloyds Banking Group and then both had to be rescued by the UK government. Peter Wuffli, who presided over the huge losses that took the Zurich-based UBS to the brink of disaster, studied management at Switzerland's University of St Gallen.

Of course, it is unfair to assign all blame to business schools. Over the past three decades, taking an MBA has become just another qualification, a hoop to be jumped through on the way to getting a good job on Wall Street, or in London or Zurich's financial centres. Still, it raises the issue of what business schools are teaching, and how they managed to create leaders who were so unable to spot the flaws in the companies they were running.

If a flight-training school produced this number of crashes, we would be asking some serious questions. There is no reason that business studies should be exempt from the same kind of scrutiny. The schools should be called to account for several things. First, they encouraged a quasi-scientific approach to business, sermonising that everything could be nailed down in a textbook. By preaching a set series of formulas they encouraged students to believe that running a company could be mastered by anyone. The entire private-equity industry is founded on that principle, as are mergers and acquisitions. In reality, management is a skill that is acquired through experience, judgement and flair. Billions of dollars are about to be wasted relearning a simple fact that should never have been forgotten.

Second, the intellectual tools that led us into the financial meltdown were largely invented within academia. Complex models for pricing risk created the market for the options and derivatives contracts that have caused so much trouble in the past year. The business schools took risk, something that was mysterious and unknowable, and tried to make it as easy to count as peas in a pod. By doing so, they encouraged a generation of young men and women to go into investment banking armed with the belief that they had mastered risk, that it had been brought under control. The truth, of course, turned out to be different. Bankers can no more tame risk than sailors can tame the oceans. All they can hope to do is steer a safe course through it.

Third, the schools created a managerial elite that acted like a caste apart. One reason the bonus culture ran out of control was that many of the people involved were trapped in a bubble. They thought "guaranteed" bonuses, private jets and multimillion-dollar payoffs were normal. That process started in business schools. No doubt, we will hear a lot in the next year about how the schools are reorganising themselves. We will see lots of papers and proposals, and probably a few equations, explaining how to stop the credit crunch from happening again.

But as Henry VIII and Castro both concluded, for different reasons, sometimes an institution is beyond redemption. It can't be fixed, simply because it is the problem. Just shut them down. * Bloomberg

Get inspired

Here are a couple of Valentine’s Day food products that may or may not go the distance (but have got the internet talking anyway).

Sourdough sentiments: Marks & Spencer in the United Kingdom has introduced a slow-baked sourdough loaf dusted with flour to spell out I (heart) you, at £2 (Dh9.5). While it’s not available in the UAE, there’s nothing to stop you taking the idea and creating your own message of love, stencilled on breakfast-inbed toast.  

Crisps playing cupid: Crisp company Tyrells has added a spicy addition to its range for Valentine’s Day. The brand describes the new honey and chilli flavour on Twitter as: “A tenderly bracing duo of the tantalising tingle of chilli with sweet and sticky honey. A helping hand to get your heart racing.” Again, not on sale here, but if you’re tempted you could certainly fashion your own flavour mix (spicy Cheetos and caramel popcorn, anyone?). 

Match info

Deccan Gladiators 87-8

Asif Khan 25, Dwayne Bravo 2-16

Maratha Arabians 89-2

Chadwick Walton 51 not out

Arabians won the final by eight wickets

AndhaDhun

Director: Sriram Raghavan

Producer: Matchbox Pictures, Viacom18

Cast: Ayushmann Khurrana, Tabu, Radhika Apte, Anil Dhawan

Rating: 3.5/5

Pupils in Abu Dhabi are learning the importance of being active, eating well and leading a healthy lifestyle now and throughout adulthood, thanks to a newly launched programme 'Healthy Lifestyle'.

As part of the Healthy Lifestyle programme, specially trained coaches from City Football Schools, along with Healthpoint physicians have visited schools throughout Abu Dhabi to give fun and interactive lessons on working out regularly, making the right food choices, getting enough sleep and staying hydrated, just like their favourite footballers.

Organised by Manchester City FC and Healthpoint, Manchester City FC’s regional healthcare partner and part of Mubadala’s healthcare network, the ‘Healthy Lifestyle’ programme will visit 15 schools, meeting around 1,000 youngsters over the next five months.

Designed to give pupils all the information they need to improve their diet and fitness habits at home, at school and as they grow up, coaches from City Football Schools will work alongside teachers to lead the youngsters through a series of fun, creative and educational classes as well as activities, including playing football and other games.

Dr Mai Ahmed Al Jaber, head of public health at Healthpoint, said: “The programme has different aspects - diet, exercise, sleep and mental well-being. By having a focus on each of those and delivering information in a way that children can absorb easily it can help to address childhood obesity."

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500 People from Gaza enter France

115 Special programme for artists

25   Evacuation of injured and sick

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Retirement funds heavily invested in equities at a risky time

Pension funds in growing economies in Asia, Latin America and the Middle East have a sharply higher percentage of assets parked in stocks, just at a time when trade tensions threaten to derail markets.

Retirement money managers in 14 geographies now allocate 40 per cent of their assets to equities, an 8 percentage-point climb over the past five years, according to a Mercer survey released last week that canvassed government, corporate and mandatory pension funds with almost $5 trillion in assets under management. That compares with about 25 per cent for pension funds in Europe.

The escalating trade spat between the US and China has heightened fears that stocks are ripe for a downturn. With tensions mounting and outcomes driven more by politics than economics, the S&P 500 Index will be on course for a “full-scale bear market” without Federal Reserve interest-rate cuts, Citigroup’s global macro strategy team said earlier this week.

The increased allocation to equities by growth-market pension funds has come at the expense of fixed-income investments, which declined 11 percentage points over the five years, according to the survey.

Hong Kong funds have the highest exposure to equities at 66 per cent, although that’s been relatively stable over the period. Japan’s equity allocation jumped 13 percentage points while South Korea’s increased 8 percentage points.

The money managers are also directing a higher portion of their funds to assets outside of their home countries. On average, foreign stocks now account for 49 per cent of respondents’ equity investments, 4 percentage points higher than five years ago, while foreign fixed-income exposure climbed 7 percentage points to 23 per cent. Funds in Japan, South Korea, Malaysia and Taiwan are among those seeking greater diversification in stocks and fixed income.

• Bloomberg

FINAL SCORES

Fujairah 130 for 8 in 20 overs

(Sandy Sandeep 29, Hamdan Tahir 26 no, Umair Ali 2-15)

Sharjah 131 for 8 in 19.3 overs

(Kashif Daud 51, Umair Ali 20, Rohan Mustafa 2-17, Sabir Rao 2-26)