Towards the end of his life the choleric Kurt Vonnegut became even more curmudgeonly. When asked about being a columnist the American writer replied: "At the height of the Vietnam War, every columnist in the country turned their attention on the White House like a bazooka. It didn't make a blind damn of difference."
These are disheartening words for any columnist. For despite toiling away like Irish navvies through a cutting, we like to think a subtle word from us will shape future policies as surely as Metternich's oleaginous wiles in 19th century Europe.
As I look back over more than 175 columns printed in these pages over the past three-and-a-half years (soon to be published in one slim volume called Musings on the Middle East), unlike Mr Vonnegut I see only success and unbridled influence.
Take an early column I wrote on the future of investment bankers. They were finished, I declared boldly in 2008, but never fear: they could be retrained for a number of uses, including be used as traffic cones on motorways or to help people use BlackBerries.
One might argue that I was ahead of the curve, a prophet without profit if you will, because these pinstriped dandies kept rewarding themselves with socking bonuses.
However, the world has caught up with them. I count it a matter of some solace that the Occupy Wall Street movement that is now sweeping the world like a virus probably had its roots in these pages.
This is not the only instance when I led public opinion to the correct decision. As well as pouring scorn on people who can't add up except when it comes to bonus time, I have been sceptical of Europe's leadership.
Did they have the acumen or nous to deal with the single currency? I thought not, and events have proved me right.
I did not anticipate that David Cameron, the British prime minister, would nip home early from the meeting, but I suspected that Nicolas Sarkozy and Angela Merkel would cook up a cunning Franco-German plan that would not convince the markets.
Don't believe me? Here is what I wrote at the end of December 2009: "Next year I suspect we shall be saying farewell to the euro, at least in its present state. Despite its stellar 2009, outmuscling the dollar and reducing sterling almost to parity, my bet is that the euro will fold.
"The Germans have already said they will not bail out the Greeks. Spain has no money, Ireland's bubble has burst, Italy is in turmoil and France is in a poor state. Goodbye euro, and good luck."
One other area that I have led the way is in anticipating that August is no longer a dull month. As I said a few months ago: "Few observers saw it coming, even when the Archduke Franz Ferdinand was bumped off by Gavrilo Princip. The first sign of trouble was a sharp dip in bond prices.
"Shares were hit too. John Maynard Keynes, the economist and policymaker who was a courageous investor who saw nothing wrong with a touch of insider dealing, thought he had the inside steer to the crisis and bought Rio Tinto and Canadian Pacific shares, only to see them tank.
On August 4, 1914, Britain declared war on Germany and Sir Edward Grey, the British foreign secretary, said: 'The lamps are going out all over Europe. We shall not see them lit again in our time'."
I think my warning prepared those in the financial markets for the struggle ahead. It certainly gave other columnists food for thought, for many of them soon produced something similar in their own pages.
Recycling is much in vogue these days, and there are few better examples of that than weekly columnists.
As I wrote in 2009, recycling is a popular thing. I was rather hoping to recycle a bit of that column here, but somebody has seen fit to wipe it off the Web, so you'll have to wait for the book.
Have no fear, there are other examples of my prescience. Take this from 2009: "Goldman Sachs: It may look mightier than ever, having weathered the sub-prime storm, been bailed out by the US taxpayer and paid him back, but the days of the super-smart bank are numbered."
Whether these choice words spooked the market one cannot be sure, but there is no doubt that the super-smart bankers are no longer looking so smug.
There are many similar examples scattered throughout these past three years, words and advice that will doubtless propel my tome to the top of The New York Times bestseller list.
As we all know, forecasting is a dangerous game. The key is to predict regularly, so here is my take on what will happen next year: Europe will fail to save the euro, again. Goldman Sachs might still be there. Columnists will keep recycling columns.
Company profile
Name: Fruitful Day
Founders: Marie-Christine Luijckx, Lyla Dalal AlRawi, Lindsey Fournie
Based: Dubai, UAE
Founded: 2015
Number of employees: 30
Sector: F&B
Funding so far: Dh3 million
Future funding plans: None at present
Future markets: Saudi Arabia, potentially Kuwait and other GCC countries
JAPAN SQUAD
Goalkeepers: Masaaki Higashiguchi, Shuichi Gonda, Daniel Schmidt
Defenders: Yuto Nagatomo, Tomoaki Makino, Maya Yoshida, Sho Sasaki, Hiroki Sakai, Sei Muroya, Genta Miura, Takehiro Tomiyasu
Midfielders: Toshihiro Aoyama, Genki Haraguchi, Gaku Shibasaki, Wataru Endo, Junya Ito, Shoya Nakajima, Takumi Minamino, Hidemasa Morita, Ritsu Doan
Forwards: Yuya Osako, Takuma Asano, Koya Kitagawa
The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo
Power: 398hp from 5,250rpm
Torque: 580Nm at 1,900-4,800rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L/100km
On sale: December
Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
Europe’s rearming plan
- Suspend strict budget rules to allow member countries to step up defence spending
- Create new "instrument" providing €150 billion of loans to member countries for defence investment
- Use the existing EU budget to direct more funds towards defence-related investment
- Engage the bloc's European Investment Bank to drop limits on lending to defence firms
- Create a savings and investments union to help companies access capital
Stuck in a job without a pay rise? Here's what to do
Chris Greaves, the managing director of Hays Gulf Region, says those without a pay rise for an extended period must start asking questions – both of themselves and their employer.
“First, are they happy with that or do they want more?” he says. “Job-seeking is a time-consuming, frustrating and long-winded affair so are they prepared to put themselves through that rigmarole? Before they consider that, they must ask their employer what is happening.”
Most employees bring up pay rise queries at their annual performance appraisal and find out what the company has in store for them from a career perspective.
Those with no formal appraisal system, Mr Greaves says, should ask HR or their line manager for an assessment.
“You want to find out how they value your contribution and where your job could go,” he says. “You’ve got to be brave enough to ask some questions and if you don’t like the answers then you have to develop a strategy or change jobs if you are prepared to go through the job-seeking process.”
For those that do reach the salary negotiation with their current employer, Mr Greaves says there is no point in asking for less than 5 per cent.
“However, this can only really have any chance of success if you can identify where you add value to the business (preferably you can put a monetary value on it), or you can point to a sustained contribution above the call of duty or to other achievements you think your employer will value.”
Going grey? A stylist's advice
If you’re going to go grey, a great style, well-cared for hair (in a sleek, classy style, like a bob), and a young spirit and attitude go a long way, says Maria Dowling, founder of the Maria Dowling Salon in Dubai.
It’s easier to go grey from a lighter colour, so you may want to do that first. And this is the time to try a shorter style, she advises. Then a stylist can introduce highlights, start lightening up the roots, and let it fade out. Once it’s entirely grey, a purple shampoo will prevent yellowing.
“Get professional help – there’s no other way to go around it,” she says. “And don’t just let it grow out because that looks really bad. Put effort into it: properly condition, straighten, get regular trims, make sure it’s glossy.”
MATCH INFO
Manchester United 6 (McTominay 2', 3'; Fernandes 20', 70' pen; Lindelof 37'; James 65')
Leeds United 2 (Cooper 41'; Dallas 73')
Man of the match: Scott McTominay (Manchester United)
More on Quran memorisation:
Williams at Wimbledon
Venus Williams - 5 titles (2000, 2001, 2005, 2007 and 2008)
Serena Williams - 7 titles (2002, 2003, 2009, 2010, 2012, 2015 and 2016)
Museum of the Future in numbers
- 78 metres is the height of the museum
- 30,000 square metres is its total area
- 17,000 square metres is the length of the stainless steel facade
- 14 kilometres is the length of LED lights used on the facade
- 1,024 individual pieces make up the exterior
- 7 floors in all, with one for administrative offices
- 2,400 diagonally intersecting steel members frame the torus shape
- 100 species of trees and plants dot the gardens
- Dh145 is the price of a ticket
The specs
Engine: 4.0-litre V8 twin-turbocharged and three electric motors
Power: Combined output 920hp
Torque: 730Nm at 4,000-7,000rpm
Transmission: 8-speed dual-clutch automatic
Fuel consumption: 11.2L/100km
On sale: Now, deliveries expected later in 2025
Price: expected to start at Dh1,432,000
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Charlotte Gainsbourg
Rest
(Because Music)