How to tackle uncomfortable money tasks

Discuss caregiving for your parents and figure out what happens to your finances when you die

Many adult children find it awkward to have caregiving conversation with their parents. Getty

There are some things no one wants to think about until they have to, such as caregiving for your parents as they age and figuring out what happens to your finances when you die.

But planning for these events now can spare you and your loved ones a lot of hassle later on.

The first step is to simply talk about the inevitable.

“Think about the people you care about. Would your life be better if you never brought this subject up? Or would everyone’s lives improve if you did?” says Lauryn Williams, a certified financial planner and owner of Worth Winning, a US-based financial planning company.

“Getting the conversation going is a game changer for being able to tackle these topics,” she says.

OK, your death and your parents getting older do not make for light dinner-table conversation. But there are ways to ease into each of these uncomfortable topics.

How to have the caregiving conversation

Millennials are currently the “sandwich generation”, says Frank Pare, a certified financial planner and president and managing partner at PF Wealth Management Group in California. That means they are responsible for bringing up their children while also thinking about how to care for ageing parents.

The Covid-19 pandemic might have forced you to have frank discussions with your parents about their healthcare situation. You can use that momentum to approach conversations about the type of care they would prefer later in life, whether it is moving in with you, going to assisted living or having in-home care.

Ms Williams suggests making a list of open-ended questions to start the conversation, such as: “What would you want to happen if you suddenly got ill?” or “How do you see me being a part of your retirement?”

Talk about what resources your parents plan to use to pay for care. Do they have a life insurance policy or a pension?

Frank Paré,
certified financial planner

Talk about what resources your parents plan to use to pay for care, Mr Pare says. Do they have a life insurance policy or a pension? Will they need to look into long-term care insurance?

This type of insurance covers chronic conditions, disabilities or disorders. If your parents do not have it or cannot afford to buy it, you can purchase it for them, he says.

Having the conversation allows you to prepare now if you need to start setting money aside for caregiving.

Estate planning is for everyone

Contrary to what you might think, estate planning is not only for the wealthy. It is also not limited to married couples or those with children.

Handing down your assets and handing over your financial responsibilities often involves making a will, creating an advance health care directive for if you are incapacitated and even having a separate digital will for your online life that includes login credentials and instructions on what to do with your social media accounts or assets such as cryptocurrency.

A simple first step you can take now is to log into all your financial accounts and designate a beneficiary for each one. Then you can turn to the bigger questions.

“The work starts with you sitting down and asking – what would you want to see happen if you were no longer around?” Mr Paré says.

Yes, it can be overwhelming to think about something bad happening to you. But creating a detailed estate plan spares your loved ones from having to sort out your financial affairs while also grieving your loss.

It can also minimise the potential likelihood of probate, which is the long legal process for distributing your property after you die.

You can use an estate plan to make your wishes and priorities clear, such as appointing a guardian for your children, deciding what happens to your pet or donating your money to a cause you care deeply about.

Asking your parents for their advice can also trigger a conversation about their estate plan and caregiving needs.

Getting the conversation going is a game changer for being able to tackle these topics

Lauryn Williams,
certified financial planner

Ms Williams suggests asking yourself these questions to make the process feel less abstract:

• What would happen if I were in the hospital for a while?
• What if I were incapacitated and had to undergo surgery? Who would I want to make the decision for me?
• Who would pay the bills or walk the dog when I am incapacitated?

If you start writing down your answers, you have already taken the first step towards making an estate plan.

You will need to hire a lawyer when you are ready to officially move forward.

Associated Press