For some time, I have been disturbed by certain car manufacturers not knowing when enough is enough – companies such as Mercedes-Benz and BMW, who previously produced ranges of cars that were easy to get your head around. Now, when I hear a model designation, I’m utterly clueless as to what it relates to, simply because there are too many models and derivatives. When Mercedes’s PR people asked me if I’d like to drive the GLA45 AMG, I had no idea whether I’d already driven one or not. Going through my records, I discovered that I hadn’t, but I can safely say those letters and numbers are now indelibly etched on my grey matter.
It’s some sort of crossover version of an already accomplished compact hatchback. This AMG version rides 15 millimetres lower than the GLA, but it’s still 40mm taller than the A45, and it’s supposed to add some SUV-ish practicality and usability to the hot-hatch recipe by virtue of its dimensions and shape. It’s festooned with go-fast addenda, and if proof were needed of its star quality, when I emerge from Mall of the Emirates, where I had left it parked, there’s a British couple peering through its glass. I can’t remember the last time I did that, but the GLA45 AMG is a car that evidently has people a bit excited, even in Dubai.
As a conservative (by nature, not politics) middle-aged grump, this pretend SUV should leave me cold, but I can’t help love the way it’s styled. It looks like it will be a whole heap of fun to drive, and it’s perhaps the biggest indicator yet of Mercedes’s new drive to reach a younger demographic. Its proportions could have been disastrous for what is essentially a sports car, but it works sublimely.
Swing open any of its doors, and you’re greeted by a cabin that’s beautifully executed, with an undeniable air of utmost quality in its construction. Materials are premium; buttons feel hefty and expensive; dials and displays are easy to use and navigate.
A prod of the start button causes the GLA45 to do two things: squeeze your midriff with the seat belt, to remind you that you’ve still not shifted that weight you promised to deal with, and ignite the hand-built engine with a muted, gruff growl that could only come from an AMG. There’s drama in everything to do with this car.
The power-train is the same as that found in the A45 and CLA45, a 2.0L turbocharged barnstormer that puts down 381hp to all four wheels via a seven-speed, twin-clutch DSG automatic gearbox.
Don’t think, however, that it being four-wheel drive means you can take it dune bashing to compete with Land Cruisers. Having all that grunt means front-wheel drive is a no-no, and it’s there to help keep this pocket rocket glued to the road at all times, but it doesn’t seem to impinge on any driver fun whatsoever.
On the contrary, with the optional sports exhaust and suspension fitted to my test car, spirited driving is never anything other than absorbing. There’s a slight hesitation on power uptake – maybe a second, but it feels longer – between your inputs and the car reacting, which takes some getting used to, but apart from that, it’s always a thrill. The exhaust whizzes, pops and bangs, offering an enormous sonic repertoire, while the suspension keeps things on the firm side, but it’s never jarring or uncomfortable.
The performance on offer is quite incredible and extremely intoxicating. Top-end speed is electronically governed to 250kph, and the rapidity with which it can reach that rate is mind-boggling (4.4 seconds from rest to 100kph).
It manages to stay true to steering inputs, with flat and reassuringly grippy cornering, and the brakes are well judged, able to reduce that terminal velocity as if it wasn’t there in the first place.
It’s expensive, as any AMG is, and its rivals could be said to include Audi’s RS Q3 and even Porsche’s Macan. But this Mercedes manages to stand alone as unique in the marketplace in its peerless blend of mad performance, funky looks and shouty noise theatrics.
It isn’t a car for shrinking violets, and it doesn’t offer some of the practicality of its competitors, but it has a brash, unapologetic character that’s as subtle as a punch in the face. Which is exactly what I need.
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