Ah, the cinema silly season – it comes but once a year. The streets are empty, business dries up and the multiplexes get filled with dross. Yippee.
Today, we are expecting six new English-language movies to open on UAE screens. Only most of them aren’t all that new – although this might be the first time some of them have reached a big screen.
Among the "highlights" are He Who Dares: Downing Street Siege, a dodgy-looking British abduction thriller that went straight to DVD last year; The Dead 2: India, a 2013 horror sequel from the United Kingdom that has not had much of an audience except at specialist festivals; and Alien Uprising (also known as UFO), a 2012 low-budget British sci-fi thriller that went straight-to-DVD almost everywhere.
In other words, it’s the time of year when we get films that were not good enough to get any sort of wide release and have been gathering dust on a distributor’s shelf, in some cases for several years.
It doesn't stop there. Further moviemaking obscurities to look forward to include next week's Guardian, a 2014 Indonesian thriller unseen outside of Asia. On July 2, we have After Party, a 2013 Spanish horror, and on July 9, we will get the 2012 straight-to-DVD American time-travel sci-fi thriller Mine Games.
Also likely to make an appearance is Tomorrow You're Gone, a three-year-old American thriller with a 7 per cent – yes, seven – approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. And there are stacks more where that came from.
On the bright side, the lack of decent new releases means recent favourites such as Jurassic World and Furious 7 will hang around a bit longer than usual and, based on previous experience, it's more than likely a few older family favourites will be wheeled out for summer (so if you missed Penguins of Madagascar the first time...).
It’s not like there’s no decent films coming out elsewhere in the world – it’s summer blockbuster season for goodness sake, the busiest cinema season of the year – it’s just that we have to wait for the really good (well, big) stuff, because of the intense heat that keeps many people indoors at this time of year and the Ramadan slowdown.
Audiences in Peru, Finland and Singapore get to see Terminator Genisys from June 25, for example, and it releases worldwide a week later – but, sorry folks, we'll be waiting until July 16.
It’s not all bad, though. For the curious viewer, the slow season offers a chance to dip a toe in foreign cinematic waters. The absence of blockbusters breeds variety and we often see more contemplative, arty fare.
This week, for example, sees the release of The Grand Seduction, a Canadian comedy that debuted in Toronto two years ago, and last year's well-received, Tommy Lee Jones-directed period drama that debuted at Cannes, The Homesman.
So sit tight, take a few cinematic chances and wait for Eid, when Arnie will be back to save the day – and cinema takings.
rgarratt@thenational.ae
