Eighteen years into his stand-up career and Michael Smiley is suddenly a wanted man.
The London-based comic left behind a genuine media frenzy as he jetted off for The Laughter Factory comedy tour, in Dubai and Abu Dhabi this week and last. Although, admittedly, most of the buzz was not actually comedy-related.
Smiley has been quietly cultivating a low-key acting career alongside his regular stand-up work, but a small film called Kill List suddenly threatens to catapult him to that next level of fame, the kind where the paparazzi shout your name at premieres.
"The quality papers have been doing full-page reviews on it," says the incredulous comic. "It's beyond my wildest dreams. This time last year we were up in Sheffield just about to make it, and there's no way that in a year's time I'd have thought we'd be going through this level of exposure and publicity. It's a bit of a phenomenon - people have just loved it and really taken it to their hearts."
Not that Kill List is a lovable film in the family-friendly sense. An intense, unconventional horror/thriller, it concerns a couple of hit-men, Jay and Gal - played by Smiley - who take on an increasingly sinister new mission. Like Se7en or The Usual Suspects, and unlike many modern movies, it leaves you with more questions than answers.
"What happens with a lot of films now, these blockbusters, it's chewing gum for the eyes, the gratification is instant and there's nothing to talk about afterwards, apart from how good Halle Berry looked or how great that car chase was," he says. "One thing about this film, you come out with an opinion. Part of it is an allegory about what's going on in the world today, society, the morality of going and watching these movies.
"Killing people is a horrible, horrible thing, the worst thing you can do as a human being, and some films make it look like an arcade game. It seems really easy. Whereas the reality is that it's really horrible and will affect you and other people for the rest of your lives. So when the death scenes in Kill List come up, there's nothing glamorous about it whatsoever. You really feel like it's sullied you slightly."
Paradoxically, Smiley admits that his stand-up style is storytelling and entertainment, pure and simple, with no hidden agenda. The Northern Ireland-born comic moved to London as a teenager in the early 1980s, but only took to stand-up in his early 30s, having acquired a suitable haul of anecdotes. The "wacky and left field" manner of many younger comics, who haven't the same life experience, leaves him cold.
"My ma and dad always brought me up to tell the truth because it's easier to remember. So that's what my comedy was - I always tried to be truthful because it was easier than something convoluted and character based."
It was character comedy that led him into acting, however. Keen to tell longer stories on stage, Smiley took a semi-autobiographical show about a cycle courier - his old job - to the Edinburgh Fringe, and was offered a similar role in a sitcom called Spaced, co-written by his old flatmate, Simon Pegg. He then played a zombie in Pegg's Shaun of the Dead, began winning straight roles, and gradually built a busy second career.
The stand-up remains a big part of his life, though, and while he now devotes August to a long family holiday rather than the Edinburgh Fringe - "I wouldn't give that up to be in a stinky venue with 10 people with rucksacks looking at me" - he is working on a new long-form one-man show. It concerns his move from Ireland to England, is called The Immigrant, and will provide some useful material for the current trip.
"I came to London for six months, and that was 28 years ago," he says "I'm sure there are a lot of people in the Middle East, Abu Dhabi and Dubai, who've come over, had a three-year contract and been there since 1985. That's a common theme.
"We all know what it's like being away from your natural environment, and how strange that new environment is, then all of a sudden it becomes home, although you don't realise when that changed. My accent hasn't changed, and my attitude to life I don't think has changed that much, only in the sense that I still think like an Irishman. Well actually I'm thinking like a father more than an Irishman now."
Smiley has been looking forward to this Middle Eastern trip in particular, his second such visit, as an old friend from the circuit, Paul Tonkinson, is also on board. Both are fathers in their 40s now, so rock 'n' roll behaviour is unlikely.
"I'm really excited about it. We'll hang out, spend days by the pool, like a couple of old men in a retirement home in Florida."
It beats a month in a smelly venue in Edinburgh, then?
"Yes it does, my friend. Yes it does."
The Laughter Factory comedy tour, which has already been in Dubai and Doha, lands in Abu Dhabi tomorrow night at the Crowne Plaza's Heroes before moving back to Dubai for three more shows Wednesday to Friday. All shows begin at 9pm. Tickets are Dh130 and can be purchased from 7.30pm onwards at the door or on www.timeouttickets.com. For more information visit www.thelaughterfactory.com.
Result
2.15pm: Maiden Dh75,000 1,950m; Winner: Majestic Thunder, Tadhg O’Shea (jockey), Satish Seemar (trainer).
2.45pm: Handicap Dh80,000 1,800m; Winner: Tailor’s Row, Royston Ffrench, Salem bin Ghadayer.
3.15pm: Handicap Dh85,000 1,600m; Winner: Native Appeal, Adam McLean, Doug Watson.
3.45pm: Handicap Dh115,000 1,950m; Winner: Conclusion, Antonio Fresu, Musabah Al Muhairi.
4.15pm: Handicap Dh100,000 1,400m; Winner: Pilgrim’s Treasure, Tadhg O’Shea, Satish Seemar.
4.45pm: Maiden Dh75,000 1,400m; Winner: Sanad Libya, Richard Mullen, Satish Seemar.
5.15pm: Handicap Dh90,000 1,000m; Winner: Midlander, Richard Mullen, Satish Seemar
The Saudi Cup race card
1 The Jockey Club Local Handicap (TB) 1,800m (Dirt) $500,000
2 The Riyadh Dirt Sprint (TB) 1,200m (D) $1.500,000
3 The 1351 Turf Sprint 1,351m (Turf) $1,000,000
4 The Saudi Derby (TB) 1600m (D) $800,000
5 The Neom Turf Cup (TB) 2,100m (T) $1,000,000
6 The Obaiya Arabian Classic (PB) 2,000m (D) $1,900,000
7 The Red Sea Turf Handicap (TB) 3,000m (T) $2,500,000
8 The Saudi Cup (TB) 1,800m (D) $20,000,000
Skewed figures
In the village of Mevagissey in southwest England the housing stock has doubled in the last century while the number of residents is half the historic high. The village's Neighbourhood Development Plan states that 26% of homes are holiday retreats. Prices are high, averaging around £300,000, £50,000 more than the Cornish average of £250,000. The local average wage is £15,458.
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
The story in numbers
18
This is how many recognised sects Lebanon is home to, along with about four million citizens
450,000
More than this many Palestinian refugees are registered with UNRWA in Lebanon, with about 45 per cent of them living in the country’s 12 refugee camps
1.5 million
There are just under 1 million Syrian refugees registered with the UN, although the government puts the figure upwards of 1.5m
73
The percentage of stateless people in Lebanon, who are not of Palestinian origin, born to a Lebanese mother, according to a 2012-2013 study by human rights organisation Frontiers Ruwad Association
18,000
The number of marriages recorded between Lebanese women and foreigners between the years 1995 and 2008, according to a 2009 study backed by the UN Development Programme
77,400
The number of people believed to be affected by the current nationality law, according to the 2009 UN study
4,926
This is how many Lebanese-Palestinian households there were in Lebanon in 2016, according to a census by the Lebanese-Palestinian dialogue committee
Living in...
This article is part of a guide on where to live in the UAE. Our reporters will profile some of the country’s most desirable districts, provide an estimate of rental prices and introduce you to some of the residents who call each area home.
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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Company profile
Name: One Good Thing
Founders: Bridgett Lau and Micheal Cooke
Based in: Dubai
Sector: e-commerce
Size: 5 employees
Stage: Looking for seed funding
Investors: Self-funded and seeking external investors
THE BIO:
Sabri Razouk, 74
Athlete and fitness trainer
Married, father of six
Favourite exercise: Bench press
Must-eat weekly meal: Steak with beans, carrots, broccoli, crust and corn
Power drink: A glass of yoghurt
Role model: Any good man
The%20specs
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10 tips for entry-level job seekers
- Have an up-to-date, professional LinkedIn profile. If you don’t have a LinkedIn account, set one up today. Avoid poor-quality profile pictures with distracting backgrounds. Include a professional summary and begin to grow your network.
- Keep track of the job trends in your sector through the news. Apply for job alerts at your dream organisations and the types of jobs you want – LinkedIn uses AI to share similar relevant jobs based on your selections.
- Double check that you’ve highlighted relevant skills on your resume and LinkedIn profile.
- For most entry-level jobs, your resume will first be filtered by an applicant tracking system for keywords. Look closely at the description of the job you are applying for and mirror the language as much as possible (while being honest and accurate about your skills and experience).
- Keep your CV professional and in a simple format – make sure you tailor your cover letter and application to the company and role.
- Go online and look for details on job specifications for your target position. Make a list of skills required and set yourself some learning goals to tick off all the necessary skills one by one.
- Don’t be afraid to reach outside your immediate friends and family to other acquaintances and let them know you are looking for new opportunities.
- Make sure you’ve set your LinkedIn profile to signal that you are “open to opportunities”. Also be sure to use LinkedIn to search for people who are still actively hiring by searching for those that have the headline “I’m hiring” or “We’re hiring” in their profile.
- Prepare for online interviews using mock interview tools. Even before landing interviews, it can be useful to start practising.
- Be professional and patient. Always be professional with whoever you are interacting with throughout your search process, this will be remembered. You need to be patient, dedicated and not give up on your search. Candidates need to make sure they are following up appropriately for roles they have applied.
Arda Atalay, head of Mena private sector at LinkedIn Talent Solutions, Rudy Bier, managing partner of Kinetic Business Solutions and Ben Kinerman Daltrey, co-founder of KinFitz
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Mohammed bin Zayed Majlis
Read more about the coronavirus
Pakistan Super League
Previous winners
2016 Islamabad United
2017 Peshawar Zalmi
2018 Islamabad United
2019 Quetta Gladiators
Most runs Kamran Akmal – 1,286
Most wickets Wahab Riaz –65
MATCH INFO
Champions League last 16, first leg
Tottenham v RB Leipzig, Wednesday, midnight (UAE)
Groom and Two Brides
Director: Elie Semaan
Starring: Abdullah Boushehri, Laila Abdallah, Lulwa Almulla
Rating: 3/5
Global institutions: BlackRock and KKR
US-based BlackRock is the world's largest asset manager, with $5.98 trillion of assets under management as of the end of last year. The New York firm run by Larry Fink provides investment management services to institutional clients and retail investors including governments, sovereign wealth funds, corporations, banks and charitable foundations around the world, through a variety of investment vehicles.
KKR & Co, or Kohlberg Kravis Roberts, is a global private equity and investment firm with around $195 billion of assets as of the end of last year. The New York-based firm, founded by Henry Kravis and George Roberts, invests in multiple alternative asset classes through direct or fund-to-fund investments with a particular focus on infrastructure, technology, healthcare, real estate and energy.
Western Region Asia Cup T20 Qualifier
Sun Feb 23 – Thu Feb 27, Al Amerat, Oman
The two finalists advance to the Asia qualifier in Malaysia in August
Group A
Bahrain, Maldives, Oman, Qatar
Group B
UAE, Iran, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia
BOSH!'s pantry essentials
Nutritional yeast
This is Firth's pick and an ingredient he says, "gives you an instant cheesy flavour". He advises making your own cream cheese with it or simply using it to whip up a mac and cheese or wholesome lasagne. It's available in organic and specialist grocery stores across the UAE.
Seeds
"We've got a big jar of mixed seeds in our kitchen," Theasby explains. "That's what you use to make a bolognese or pie or salad: just grab a handful of seeds and sprinkle them over the top. It's a really good way to make sure you're getting your omegas."
Umami flavours
"I could say soya sauce, but I'll say all umami-makers and have them in the same batch," says Firth. He suggests having items such as Marmite, balsamic vinegar and other general, dark, umami-tasting products in your cupboard "to make your bolognese a little bit more 'umptious'".
Onions and garlic
"If you've got them, you can cook basically anything from that base," says Theasby. "These ingredients are so prevalent in every world cuisine and if you've got them in your cupboard, then you know you've got the foundation of a really nice meal."
Your grain of choice
Whether rice, quinoa, pasta or buckwheat, Firth advises always having a stock of your favourite grains in the cupboard. "That you, you have an instant meal and all you have to do is just chuck a bit of veg in."
More from Rashmee Roshan Lall
The 24-man squad:
Goalkeepers: Thibaut Courtois (Chelsea), Simon Mignolet (Liverpool), Koen Casteels (VfL Wolfsburg).
Defenders: Toby Alderweireld (Tottenham), Thomas Meunier (Paris Saint-Germain), Thomas Vermaelen (Barcelona), Jan Vertonghen (Tottenham), Dedryck Boyata (Celtic), Vincent Kompany (Manchester City).
Midfielders: Marouane Fellaini (Manchester United), Axel Witsel (Tianjin Quanjian), Kevin De Bruyne (Manchester City), Eden Hazard (Chelsea), Nacer Chadli (West Bromwich Albion), Leander Dendoncker (Anderlecht), Thorgan Hazard (Borussia Moenchengladbach), Youri Tielemans (Monaco), Mousa Dembele (Tottenham Hotspur).
Forwards: Michy Batshuayi (Chelsea/Dortmund), Yannick Carrasco (Dalian Yifang), Adnan Januzaj (Real Sociedad), Romelu Lukaku (Manchester United), Dries Mertens (Napoli).
Standby player: Laurent Ciman (Los Angeles FC).
Isle of Dogs
Director: Wes Anderson
Starring: Bryan Cranston, Liev Schreiber, Ed Norton, Greta Gerwig, Bill Murray, Jeff Goldblum, Scarlett Johansson
Three stars
PROFILE OF HALAN
Started: November 2017
Founders: Mounir Nakhla, Ahmed Mohsen and Mohamed Aboulnaga
Based: Cairo, Egypt
Sector: transport and logistics
Size: 150 employees
Investment: approximately $8 million
Investors include: Singapore’s Battery Road Digital Holdings, Egypt’s Algebra Ventures, Uber co-founder and former CTO Oscar Salazar