Poor old Theresa May. No, no, really, I mean it. Let's put politics aside for a moment and agree that the Prime Minister of Britain is, just this once, very much in need of a big hug. Your heart would have to pump cement if you watched the video of her dancing during a recent trip to Cape Town and didn't feel even the slightest pang of sympathy.
Faced with a group of enthusiastic schoolchildren dancing and urging her to join in, May had no option but to find her own sort of rhythm. She pushed a left leg forward as if she was trying to negotiate a muddy puddle, then came an even more recalcitrant right leg, and finally she started to shake her hips with all the gusto of a farmhouse door creaking shut.
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With the world’s press in close attendance, you could almost see every muscle in her body stiffening, refusing to do what her brain was asking. Brexit must have seemed like a doddle in comparison to this fresh torment.
But May shouldn’t be too hard on herself. She isn’t the first public figure to endure the horrors of a public dance gone terribly, terribly wrong. Here are five others who would understand May’s moment of mortification.
Boris Yeltsin
The former Russian president was brought on stage at a rally and proceeded to dance like your uncle at his 60th wedding anniversary. Quite a lot of good stuff going on here, though, including what looks very much like the “funky chicken”.
Donald Trump
The President of the United States' first dance with his wife Melania at the inauguration ball should have been a romantic affair: black tie, gorgeous dress, a bit of Frank Sinatra's My Way. Sadly, it was a stilted, near-stationary few minutes, the rictus grins on both faces as strained as the dance moves.
Ed Balls
Britain came to love its former Shadow Chancellor and his game efforts on the dance floor during his stint on reality television show Strictly Come Dancing. But let's be honest: he never graduated from the so-bad-it's-good stage.
George W. Bush
When the former President of the United States was invited on stage to join the Kankouran West African Dance Company, he didn’t hold back, waving his arms manically, and seemingly sculpting an invisible vase with his hands.
Hillary Clinton
When she joined a group of women on stage during her presidential campaign, Clinton was suddenly thrust into an awkward line dance and ended up looking like the broken element of a misfiring Newton’s Cradle.
