One of the most perplexing questions that I am asked is: "Where are you from?" Having been born in the US to Qatari parents, and raised between the two countries, the answer to this question can take a long time to explain. Societal expectations of how I should dress and behave translate to life-altering decisions, such as which career options I should or shouldn't pursue and who my significant other can or cannot be. This has little to do with my gender because this is one of the minute areas in the Arab Gulf where gender doesn't make a difference.
In this day and age, the number of people who identify themselves as hailing from a "third culture" is growing, increasingly in the Gulf. For westerners, the question is easily answered by naming the place one was born, or lived the largest number of years. The answer is much more difficult to pinpoint in a tribal society such as the Gulf, where identity and loyalty come down to one distinctive factor: ancestry.
Tribes are an institution that has served a pivotal function in society for generations. A family may have resided in, say, Bahrain or Qatar for decades and even possess a valid passport, yet do not identify with the culture or the people. Nor are they accepted as true citizens of the country. From someone's family name, society can surmise not only the origin and social standing of that person, but also form an array of predictions about his or her life. Like a fortune teller peering into a shiny crystal ball promising to tell the future, just a few letters strung together in a name can reveal a person's destiny - from who they can marry to the limits imposed on any particular career.
Considering the demographic make-up of the Gulf, where citizens make up only 50 per cent of the entire GCC population, perhaps tribes serve a function by preserving the sanctity of the history of Gulf society. It is no surprise, then, that particular tribes are strongly revered based on their defence of the rulers of the Gulf countries, while others will be tainted with the betrayal of their ancestors for fighting on the losing side as long as memory is preserved.
As globalisation has taken the reins, the identity of Gulf Arabs is threatened even more. English replaces Arabic in the classroom, which results in new forms of colloquial Arabic adopted by the youth, with Arabic and English phrases intermingled playfully. As predominantly illiterate older generations pass on, they take their memories of history with them to the grave. Gone are their traditional forms of clothing, unique language and colourful anecdotes with traces of history intertwined between the phrases.
It is no surprise, then, that despite my years in "the Land of the Free", my sense of reality is still heavily moulded by my Gulf Arab lineage, which I take pride in and yet battle with simultaneously. Taking risks towards independence while drawing lines to confine those risks from threatening the reputation of my relatives continents away; balancing my acceptance of characteristics ascribed to me at birth with those I have earned since; leading my life spontaneously in America, all the while knowing that every decision I take on a whim must be defended on a regular basis by my immediate family thousands of miles away. Cousins, neighbours, friends, and foes are all owed an explanation of my actions for the simple reason that I belong - to my immediate family, tribe, society and, finally, country.
Yes, I belong. To Qatar, to the US, I belong. The difference between the two is that I have a responsibility to impress the former and am accepted unconditionally as an individual by the latter. Most suppose that it would be easier to relinquish all traces of the past and conform to American society, one that accepts you as a refugee of your past, and prides itself on diversity. While that is tempting, I find it would be more difficult to suppress the history coursing through my veins.
Tofol al Nasr is a former executive in the Qatari oil industry who is now studying public policy at George Mason University in the United States
Teaching your child to save
Pre-school (three - five years)
You can’t yet talk about investing or borrowing, but introduce a “classic” money bank and start putting gifts and allowances away. When the child wants a specific toy, have them save for it and help them track their progress.
Early childhood (six - eight years)
Replace the money bank with three jars labelled ‘saving’, ‘spending’ and ‘sharing’. Have the child divide their allowance into the three jars each week and explain their choices in splitting their pocket money. A guide could be 25 per cent saving, 50 per cent spending, 25 per cent for charity and gift-giving.
Middle childhood (nine - 11 years)
Open a bank savings account and help your child establish a budget and set a savings goal. Introduce the notion of ‘paying yourself first’ by putting away savings as soon as your allowance is paid.
Young teens (12 - 14 years)
Change your child’s allowance from weekly to monthly and help them pinpoint long-range goals such as a trip, so they can start longer-term saving and find new ways to increase their saving.
Teenage (15 - 18 years)
Discuss mutual expectations about university costs and identify what they can help fund and set goals. Don’t pay for everything, so they can experience the pride of contributing.
Young adulthood (19 - 22 years)
Discuss post-graduation plans and future life goals, quantify expenses such as first apartment, work wardrobe, holidays and help them continue to save towards these goals.
* JP Morgan Private Bank
Basquiat in Abu Dhabi
One of Basquiat’s paintings, the vibrant Cabra (1981–82), now hangs in Louvre Abu Dhabi temporarily, on loan from the Guggenheim Abu Dhabi.
The latter museum is not open physically, but has assembled a collection and puts together a series of events called Talking Art, such as this discussion, moderated by writer Chaedria LaBouvier.
It's something of a Basquiat season in Abu Dhabi at the moment. Last week, The Radiant Child, a documentary on Basquiat was shown at Manarat Al Saadiyat, and tonight (April 18) the Guggenheim Abu Dhabi is throwing the re-creation of a party tonight, of the legendary Canal Zone party thrown in 1979, which epitomised the collaborative scene of the time. It was at Canal Zone that Basquiat met prominent members of the art world and moved from unknown graffiti artist into someone in the spotlight.
“We’ve invited local resident arists, we’ll have spray cans at the ready,” says curator Maisa Al Qassemi of the Guggenheim Abu Dhabi.
Guggenheim Abu Dhabi's Canal Zone Remix is at Manarat Al Saadiyat, Thursday April 18, from 8pm. Free entry to all. Basquiat's Cabra is on view at Louvre Abu Dhabi until October
Full Party in the Park line-up
2pm – Andreah
3pm – Supernovas
4.30pm – The Boxtones
5.30pm – Lighthouse Family
7pm – Step On DJs
8pm – Richard Ashcroft
9.30pm – Chris Wright
10pm – Fatboy Slim
11pm – Hollaphonic
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Who has lived at The Bishops Avenue?
- George Sainsbury of the supermarket dynasty, sugar magnate William Park Lyle and actress Dame Gracie Fields were residents in the 1930s when the street was only known as ‘Millionaires’ Row’.
- Then came the international super rich, including the last king of Greece, Constantine II, the Sultan of Brunei and Indian steel magnate Lakshmi Mittal who was at one point ranked the third richest person in the world.
- Turkish tycoon Halis Torprak sold his mansion for £50m in 2008 after spending just two days there. The House of Saud sold 10 properties on the road in 2013 for almost £80m.
- Other residents have included Iraqi businessman Nemir Kirdar, singer Ariana Grande, holiday camp impresario Sir Billy Butlin, businessman Asil Nadir, Paul McCartney’s former wife Heather Mills.
Hunting park to luxury living
- Land was originally the Bishop of London's hunting park, hence the name
- The road was laid out in the mid 19th Century, meandering through woodland and farmland
- Its earliest houses at the turn of the 20th Century were substantial detached properties with extensive grounds
Learn more about Qasr Al Hosn
In 2013, The National's History Project went beyond the walls to see what life was like living in Abu Dhabi's fabled fort:
