“There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love,” says an Arabic proverb. And the same can be said about wise women.
We are all suckers for love, and everyone at some point did or would do something ridiculous or go out of their way, outside their comfort zone, for the one they love.
I know love-struck friends who travelled across the globe just to wish a loved one good morning in person and give them a hug and fly back, others who never cooked before would cook an entire meal of soups and remedies just to nurse their beloved back to health.
Sadly, in both cases, it didn’t work out in the end. They ended up with broken hearts.
I have done some embarrassing things myself. I have climbed walls – fallen off a few, too – to throw poetry I have composed on a piece of paper that I crumpled up into a ball, as a reply to a piece of prose from the neighbour’s son. This continued for a few weeks until one time I ended up throwing it in the wrong yard because of an over-enthusiastic arm and getting the wrong male to think I was in love with him. Many dramas followed: the one who liked me thought I was throwing poems to other boys (we were just teenagers), and the one I hated (an arrogant show off) thought I was gaga over him. Needless to say, all that climbing just bruised my legs and my ego in the end, giving a new meaning to the phrase “love hurts”.
Compared to my failed romancing in Jeddah, I didn’t risk much in my pursuit of love compared to the love story that came out this month, where a young Saudi girl crossed into Yemen to elope with her Yemeni sweetheart, risking all in the name of love. She defied traditions in both countries, where her and his family were said to have threatened them and forbidden them to get married.
The love story between Huda Ali, 22, and Arafat Tahar, 25, has been compared to Shakespeare’s star-crossed lovers Romeo and Juliet, but hopefully they will have a much happier ending.
The latest news is that she will be getting refugee status after applying for asylum through the UN High Commissioner for Refugees, allowing her to stay in Yemen and marry the man she loves.
She has told Human Rights Watch if she returns to her family, she fears physical harm as she has been beaten in the past.
Her story triggered protests in Yemen to allow her to stay and marry her beloved. This story reminded us of the power of young love and how far people go for love. This is something quite lacking these days as people break up or don’t even fight for love because “hey, there are plenty of fish in the sea”. I hate that expression, who wants to marry a fish?
I can’t tell you how many times I would hear someone who claims to be looking for love and marriage, complaining about how far this or that person is, and so would break off a budding relationship because “the drive is too far”. Huda on the other hand, crossed into another country, and not just any country, both Saudi Arabia and Yemen are dangerous for a woman to be on her own, especially for one who is wanted by a very angry family.
In the age of instant relationships, where one hooks up with so many potential partners, it is almost ironic that studies show that people are having a harder time finding the right partner given access to bigger pools or ponds (for those fond of the fish analogy).
Too often, people would sit and over-analyse, is he or she from the “right family”, right wealth or class, right weight and age, right this and that, instead of letting their heart speak. It has been muffled with a thousand layers of doubts and lists, that it is hard for it to beat naturally and simply love for the sake of love.
A couple who were celebrating 50 years together told me that one of the things they remember when they first met is that they both said: “You know. I feel at peace with you. Want to give us a try?” and that was it. It was so simple, it was almost tragic.
I wish Huda and Arafat the best, and I hope I get an invite to their wedding. They give us all hope that real love still exists.
rghazal@thenational.ae
On Twitter: @Arabianmau
