Every person in the room had a story. At first glance, the gathering that I attended looked like any other group, with people from all walks of life and backgrounds sitting about chatting away and drinking tea.
Then they started sharing their stories. One was a mother who, soon after giving birth, found out that she had leukaemia. A businessman who missed an important flight because he felt disoriented, also discovered he had leukaemia. A student about to start her first term at university found a lump in her body; after tests, she found out she had Hodgkin’s lymphoma.
They all had some form of cancer (as I explain in Focus, Page 9). Some in the room had had more than one type at different times of their lives. But they were all united in one thing: “We are not victims.”
They were courageous, informative, sometimes disheartened, but they were not showing any signs of giving up. Whatever doubts, fears and questions they had were answered by a doctor who was leading the session, and by other cancer patients and survivors.
While a group gathering or, rather, group therapy seems obvious and should be part of any treatment, the concept is still something new here and in the Middle East in general. Every hospital should have one on a regular basis for its patients. It can get lonely and depressing for those undergoing long- term treatments.
The amount of relief, smiles and even laughter heard at this group showed me how important these initiatives are. This particular one was held by the Friends of Cancer Patients Society – a charitable, volunteer-based foundation operating under the umbrella of the Supreme Council for Family Affairs in Sharjah.
I feel that there should be regular group-therapy sessions for patients with common illnesses such as diabetes, as there are so many people who struggle with it. It would be nice for them to have proper diet and lifestyle advice and for the group to work together to improve each other’s quality of life.
One of the biggest issues for diabetics is that no one seems to take their illnesses seriously. To the people who shovel food heavy in sugar on to a diabetic’s plate, I say: sure, be hospitable and generous but not respecting someone’s aliment could be hurtful in the long run.
Cancer is a taboo topic where people feel that talking about it somehow brings it closer to home. Some people feel it is bad to talk about illness at all. I was like that. I was also one of those people who never went to the doctor except in an emergency.
Like many people, I have loved ones afflicted by cancer. It is said it has almost become as common as the flu – and, thankfully, some forms of it are easily curable. But early detection through regular check-ups is key.
I lost a friend to cancer simply because she never told anyone. She found out through a test, and then kept it to herself. I couldn’t understand why she didn’t seek medical care and our help. I would have stood by her at every step of the way, as would have many others.
As I learnt through this group session, sometimes the biggest challenge is the family. They put so much pressure on the patient, from saying “are you OK” every five minutes to acting like nothing is wrong and not helping at all. Besides the physical, a patient has mental and emotional needs. Sometimes it could be as simple as a smile a day.
As some of the cancer survivors said: “It starts with you. Believe in yourself. You can heal your body slowly by believing in it.”
That may sound strange, but since it has worked for them, why not try it? In general, when you force yourself to smile or look at positive images or say something nice out loud, you will feel different. There is a reason kitten and other baby animal videos are the most popular on YouTube. They make the viewer feel better.
If you know someone with cancer, include them in your outings and go with them to group sessions. If you want to understand what someone is going through, these sessions are a good starting point.
rghazal@thenational.ae
On Twitter:@Arabianmau
