The announcement of the Oscar nominations on Tuesday means that even the dimmest among us will now be aware that we are knee-deep in awards season. Red carpets have been vacuumed and rolled out, trophies are being polished so that they sparkle brighter than the sun and the obligatory best- and worst-dressed lists are in fine fettle.
Don't yawn. There is succour for those tiring of the endless parade of congratulation. Rescue arrived earlier this week in the shape of the Razzies nominations.
Officially called the Golden Raspberry Awards, the Razzies are a batch of "honours" doled out for the worst films of the year. Started in 1980 by the American publicist John Wilson, the Razzies traditionally are given out the night before the Academy Awards ceremony.
"We finally figured out you couldn't compete with the Oscars on Oscar night, but if you went the night before, when the press from all over the world are here and they are looking for something to do, it could well catch on," Wilson told the BBC three years ago.
The Razzies panel is made up of paying members, who cough up anything from $25 (Dh92) for annual voting rights to $500 (Dh1,800) for lifetime membership. For one night of the year, they cheer and celebrate poor talent, which is quite an admission for the self-congratulatory air of Hollywood.
And this year, we're really in luck because not only does it mark the ceremony's 30th anniversary, but it's also 2010 and organisers have added three categories to honour the very best excrescence of the past decade.
Worst Picture of the Decade, along with Worst Actor and Worst Actress of the Decade, will be awarded along with all the usual categories when the ceremony takes place on March 6.
Contenders for Worst Picture of the Decade include Guy Ritchie's flop, Swept Away, which starred Madonna; Ben Affleck and Mike Myers were nominated for Worst Actor, and Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan were nominated for Worst Actress.
From last year's work, the two films vying for the most raspberry trophies are the summer blockbuster Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and the screwball dinosaur comedy Land of the Lost.
They have chalked up seven nominations each, and have jointly been included in the Worst Picture, Worst Director, Worst Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel and Worst Screen Couple categories. In the latter, Shia LaBeouf is to be particularly applauded for winning the nomination based not only on his screen presence (or lack of it) with his co-star, Megan Fox, but also for his pairing with "any Transformer".
Close behind them comes the second Twilight instalment, New Moon, with four nominations. Kristen Stewart, much like LaBeouf, has earned a nomination for Worst Screen Couple for her performance alongside both Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner.
Other names given the thumbs-down this year include the trio of Jonas brothers, who have fallen victim to the Worst Actor category for their roles in Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience. Sarah Jessica Parker makes an appearance for her jaw-grindingly irritating performance in Did You Hear About The Morgans? Beyoncé is included in the Worst Actress category for her role in the Fatal Attraction copycat, Obsessed, and Sienna Miller gets a Worst Supporting Actress nod for her role as the baddy in GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra.
Hugh Hefner, the founder of Playboy, is the only figure to make the cut for appearing as himself, in the comedy Miss March.
It's worth pointing out that Razzie nominators seem to take a loftier view of several films than the paying public. Transformers grossed more than $800 million (Dh2.9 trillion) worldwide and New Moon took more than $700m. Sandra Bullock is also up for the Worst Actress Razzie for her turn in All About Steve, despite having recently been declared 2009's most bankable actress, taking home a Golden Globe last month, and receiving a Best Actress Oscar nomination for The Blind Side.
Does it equate to film snobbery or is it just the chance to poke a bit of fun at the industry? Let's hope at least a few of those nominated prove their sense of humour by showing up next month.
Abaya trends
The utilitarian robe held dear by Arab women is undergoing a change that reveals it as an elegant and graceful garment available in a range of colours and fabrics, while retaining its traditional appeal.
MATCH INFO
What: India v Afghanistan, first Test
When: Starts Thursday
Where: M Chinnaswamy Stadium, Bengalaru
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Kumulus Water
Started: 2021
Founders: Iheb Triki and Mohamed Ali Abid
Based: Tunisia
Sector: Water technology
Number of staff: 22
Investment raised: $4 million
CREW
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COMPANY%20PROFILE
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Kanye%20West
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Teaching your child to save
Pre-school (three - five years)
You can’t yet talk about investing or borrowing, but introduce a “classic” money bank and start putting gifts and allowances away. When the child wants a specific toy, have them save for it and help them track their progress.
Early childhood (six - eight years)
Replace the money bank with three jars labelled ‘saving’, ‘spending’ and ‘sharing’. Have the child divide their allowance into the three jars each week and explain their choices in splitting their pocket money. A guide could be 25 per cent saving, 50 per cent spending, 25 per cent for charity and gift-giving.
Middle childhood (nine - 11 years)
Open a bank savings account and help your child establish a budget and set a savings goal. Introduce the notion of ‘paying yourself first’ by putting away savings as soon as your allowance is paid.
Young teens (12 - 14 years)
Change your child’s allowance from weekly to monthly and help them pinpoint long-range goals such as a trip, so they can start longer-term saving and find new ways to increase their saving.
Teenage (15 - 18 years)
Discuss mutual expectations about university costs and identify what they can help fund and set goals. Don’t pay for everything, so they can experience the pride of contributing.
Young adulthood (19 - 22 years)
Discuss post-graduation plans and future life goals, quantify expenses such as first apartment, work wardrobe, holidays and help them continue to save towards these goals.
* JP Morgan Private Bank
Sam Smith
Where: du Arena, Abu Dhabi
When: Saturday November 24
Rating: 4/5
Apple product price list
iPad Pro
11" - $799 (64GB)
12.9" - $999 (64GB)
MacBook Air
$1,199
Mac Mini
$799
If you go
The flights
Etihad flies direct from Abu Dhabi to San Francisco from Dh5,760 return including taxes.
The car
Etihad Guest members get a 10 per cent worldwide discount when booking with Hertz, as well as earning miles on their rentals. A week's car hire costs from Dh1,500 including taxes.
The hotels
Along the route, Motel 6 (www.motel6.com) offers good value and comfort, with rooms from $55 (Dh202) per night including taxes. In Portland, the Jupiter Hotel (https://jupiterhotel.com/) has rooms from $165 (Dh606) per night including taxes. The Society Hotel https://thesocietyhotel.com/ has rooms from $130 (Dh478) per night including taxes.
More info
To keep up with constant developments in Portland, visit www.travelportland.com. Good guidebooks include the Lonely Planet guides to Northern California and Washington, Oregon & the Pacific Northwest.
Squid Game season two
Director: Hwang Dong-hyuk
Stars: Lee Jung-jae, Wi Ha-joon and Lee Byung-hun
Rating: 4.5/5
WEST ASIA RUGBY 2017/18 SEASON ROLL OF HONOUR
Western Clubs Champions League
Winners: Abu Dhabi Harlequins
Runners up: Bahrain
Dubai Rugby Sevens
Winners: Dubai Exiles
Runners up: Jebel Ali Dragons
West Asia Premiership
Winners: Jebel Ali Dragons
Runners up: Abu Dhabi Harlequins
UAE Premiership Cup
Winners: Abu Dhabi Harlequins
Runners up: Dubai Exiles
UAE Premiership
Winners: Dubai Exiles
Runners up: Abu Dhabi Harlequins
'Nope'
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Roll%20of%20Honour%2C%20men%E2%80%99s%20domestic%20rugby%20season
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Jebel Ali card
1.45pm: Maiden Dh75,000 1,400m
2.15pm: Handicap Dh90,000 1,400m
2.45pm: Maiden Dh75,000 1,000m
3.15pm: Handicap Dh105,000 1,200m
3.45pm: Maiden Dh75,000 1,600m
4.15pm: Handicap Dh105,000 1,600m
4.45pm: Handicap Dh80,000 1,800m
The National selections
1.45pm: Cosmic Glow
2.15pm: Karaginsky
2.45pm: Welcome Surprise
3.15pm: Taamol
3.45pm: Rayig
4.15pm: Chiefdom
4.45pm: California Jumbo
Super Rugby play-offs
Quarter-finals
- Hurricanes 35, ACT 16
- Crusaders 17, Highlanders 0
- Lions 23, Sharks 21
- Chiefs 17, Stormers 11
Semi-finals
Saturday, July 29
- Crusaders v Chiefs, 12.35pm (UAE)
- Lions v Hurricanes, 4.30pm
SPECS
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EEngine%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E2-litre%204-cylinder%20petrol%20(V%20Class)%3B%20electric%20motor%20with%2060kW%20or%2090kW%20powerpack%20(EQV)%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPower%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20233hp%20(V%20Class%2C%20best%20option)%3B%20204hp%20(EQV%2C%20best%20option)%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETorque%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20350Nm%20(V%20Class%2C%20best%20option)%3B%20TBA%20(EQV)%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EOn%20sale%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EMid-2024%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPrice%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ETBA%0D%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Engine: 80 kWh four-wheel-drive
Transmission: eight-speed automatic
Power: 402bhp
Torque: 760Nm
Price: From Dh280,000