Shaima has battled anorexia and bulimia for more than eight years.
The 23-year-old Emirati has a degree in nutrition and psychology, so she knows what she should be eating and that her behaviour is not healthy.
But she still cannot overcome the illness, which has now caused her to stop menstruating.
"I worry about not being able to have children but I also don't want to get pregnant because I will be fat," she said.
A healthy weight for Shaima is about 61 kilograms but she has dropped as low as 45kg.
At school and college, she had trouble concentrating and suffered from depression, which led her to self harm.
"When you want to be perfect, your grades must be perfect just like your body," she said.
When she first told her parents three years ago, she was sent to therapy. But she resisted help and adopted a common practice among bulimics, of eating in front of people then making herself vomit in private.
"I didn't want the help," she said.
Shaima's problems began as a teenager when she found "pro-ana" websites promoting anorexia that offered tips on how to starve yourself and make yourself sick.
Despite symptoms such as hair loss and numerous bruises and wounds from self-harming, she managed to keep her behaviour secret for years.
Her family now know but still struggle to understand.
"Your eyes just don't work the way their eyes do. We don't see the same things," she said. "It's complicated. Sometimes you want to get better and sometimes you don't."
She is now in therapy of her own volition and is on medication.
But she still cannot eat enough and her day consists of two coffees, a piece of fruit and three tough hours in the gym, which she slogs through with very little energy.
"At university I was at my best," she said. "I had distractions but now I'm just alone with my thoughts."
Shaima said that while campaigns for schoolchildren might raise awareness of eating disorders, they could also leave dangerous impressions. "If a girl wants to be thin she will do whatever she wants anyway," she said.
Even with help, the road to recovery is long and hard.
"My therapy is helping but if you're not willing to help yourself, nobody can help you," she said.
mswan@thenational.ae
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Sole survivors
- Cecelia Crocker was on board Northwest Airlines Flight 255 in 1987 when it crashed in Detroit, killing 154 people, including her parents and brother. The plane had hit a light pole on take off
- George Lamson Jr, from Minnesota, was on a Galaxy Airlines flight that crashed in Reno in 1985, killing 68 people. His entire seat was launched out of the plane
- Bahia Bakari, then 12, survived when a Yemenia Airways flight crashed near the Comoros in 2009, killing 152. She was found clinging to wreckage after floating in the ocean for 13 hours.
- Jim Polehinke was the co-pilot and sole survivor of a 2006 Comair flight that crashed in Lexington, Kentucky, killing 49.
UK%20record%20temperature
%3Cp%3E38.7C%20(101.7F)%20set%20in%20Cambridge%20in%202019%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Winners
Ballon d’Or (Men’s)
Ousmane Dembélé (Paris Saint-Germain / France)
Ballon d’Or Féminin (Women’s)
Aitana Bonmatí (Barcelona / Spain)
Kopa Trophy (Best player under 21 – Men’s)
Lamine Yamal (Barcelona / Spain)
Best Young Women’s Player
Vicky López (Barcelona / Spain)
Yashin Trophy (Best Goalkeeper – Men’s)
Gianluigi Donnarumma (Paris Saint-Germain and Manchester City / Italy)
Best Women’s Goalkeeper
Hannah Hampton (England / Aston Villa and Chelsea)
Men’s Coach of the Year
Luis Enrique (Paris Saint-Germain)
Women’s Coach of the Year
Sarina Wiegman (England)
The%20specs
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EEngine%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESingle%20front-axle%20electric%20motor%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPower%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E218hp%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETorque%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E330Nm%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETransmission%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESingle-speed%20automatic%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EMax%20touring%20range%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E402km%20(claimed)%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPrice%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFrom%20Dh215%2C000%20(estimate)%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EOn%20sale%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ESeptember%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
INDIA SQUAD
Rohit Sharma (captain), Shikhar Dhawan (vice-captain), KL Rahul, Suresh Raina, Manish Pandey, Dinesh Karthik (wicketkeeper), Deepak Hooda, Washington Sundar, Yuzvendra Chahal, Axar Patel, Vijay Shankar, Shardul Thakur, Jaydev Unadkat, Mohammad Siraj and Rishabh Pant (wicketkeeper)
Who was Alfred Nobel?
The Nobel Prize was created by wealthy Swedish chemist and entrepreneur Alfred Nobel.
- In his will he dictated that the bulk of his estate should be used to fund "prizes to those who, during the preceding year, have conferred the greatest benefit to humankind".
- Nobel is best known as the inventor of dynamite, but also wrote poetry and drama and could speak Russian, French, English and German by the age of 17. The five original prize categories reflect the interests closest to his heart.
- Nobel died in 1896 but it took until 1901, following a legal battle over his will, before the first prizes were awarded.
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDirector%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Nag%20Ashwin%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarring%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EPrabhas%2C%20Saswata%20Chatterjee%2C%20Deepika%20Padukone%2C%20Amitabh%20Bachchan%2C%20Shobhana%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E%E2%98%85%E2%98%85%E2%98%85%E2%98%85%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The five pillars of Islam