If you've ever wondered what your vehicle endures during an automatic car wash then Camugao Falls probably gives a fair approximation.
Bohol island in the Philippines is blessed with several of nature’s power showers. Standing beneath the relentless cascade invites flashbacks to dizzying waterfall scenes in movies such as 2018’s Tomb Raider.
Thankfully, our experience is far less dramatic than Lara Croft’s encounter, although it follows a descent down twisting, slippery wooden steps that fellow Hollywood adventurer Indiana Jones might have found challenging.
All this is soundtracked by thousands of gallons of fresh water crashing into a clear, natural pool that cries out to be swum in.
Once dunked, rinsed and dried by the mid-morning sunshine, my wife and I head back to our Honda scooter and open Google Maps in search of more waterfalls.
Organised tours and hardier tuk-tuks reach most of south-west Bohol’s main tourist attractions, including waterfalls. But if you are happy to trust your scooter skills and mobile signal, the island’s surprisingly decent tarmac yields indelible experiences.
It is not long before we near Kawasan, a smaller but pretty waterfall in Candasig, reached by a walkway of slim bridges.
The pool it feeds is occupied by Filipino teens daring tourists to follow their lead as they climb the rock face before diving in for an adrenalin rush.
Guided back to our Honda by hungry dogs, we head for the next location on our wish list. We are swiftly reminded of the TLC lyric “don’t go chasing waterfalls” as our map leads us not to a scenic vista, but to a field occupied only by vociferous cockerels.
We have more luck finding our third waterfall on the way back to our hotel, albeit along a challenging track.
Malingin is filled with young locals eating, drinking and playing, their excited squeals confirming the exact whereabouts of the picnic spot as we wander along the final stretch.
It’s the least impressive waterfall of the day, but it is a popular oasis for residents of Tagbilaran City, Bohol’s capital.
We are the only tourists, yet largely ignored apart from a collective gasp when I almost launch myself over the top of the torrent thanks to ill-fitting reef shoes.
Music accompanies casual bathing and acrobatic dives, while makeshift shops sell drinks and snacks. Young people sip iced tea as an assortment of dogs are roused by a recently lit barbecue.
It feels a little like our GPS signal has betrayed a locals' secret hangout, so before long we nod farewell and hit the road again.
The next day, Bohol delivers more contrasting sights as we trace a route to the Loboc River for a pricey buffet boat trip.
Before that, there’s a more rewarding visit to a tarsier sanctuary. Shy, nocturnal and among the world’s smallest primates, these threatened creatures are reliant on tourist pesos to top up the funds of protection projects.
We press on to the Chocolate Hills, so called because the vast spread of undulating mounds turns brown during the dry season.
Having navigated the intriguingly named Chicken Intestine Road, and others flanked by canopies of bowing bamboo trees, we park and board a shuttle to the viewing area.
Numerous steps ascended, this slightly surreal expanse of almost identical natural hills – more than 1,260 – is a geological spectacle.
The same can be said of south Bohol’s beaches. Our boutique hotel, popular nearby restaurant and music venue Coclea look across to Panglao Island, which has many of the best shorelines, along with turtle and dolphin watching trips, and boat hops to some of the 70 smaller islands that orbit Bohol.
The walk from Panglao's laid-back Libaong to sultry Dumaluan Beach is the stuff of glossy holiday brochures. Lapping waves conspire with stooping trees and white sand to frame Instagram-perfect snapshots.
Panglao’s busiest tourist area, Alona, bristles with bracelet hawkers, foot masseurs and tourists soaking up the rays or chilled drinks at myriad restaurants and bars that flank the vibrant seafront.
We enjoy sunset on Doljo Beach, where we meet and chat to a local fisherman named Juan. This tranquil haven beyond a small industrial park lives up to the local hype.
As a squadron of flying fish skim across the gentle wake of a small traditional Banca boat, all seems right with the world.
Bohol’s natural beauty, its people, their food, Tagbilaran’s stunning St Joseph the Worker Cathedral Shrine and the karaoke venues conjure memories that endure long after we have boarded the ferry and reluctantly taken our flight home.
Emirates flies direct to Cebu, Philippines, from where regular ferries serve Bohol
