LONDON // Some scripts write themselves. Before kick off, Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels appeared on the Emirates pitch to promote their sequel to Dumb & Dumber. Sure enough, the vital opening goal, was a moment of vintage slapstick.
Ashley Young crossed from the left. It probably would have been too high for Marouane Fellaini but Wojciech Szczesny came out to try to punch clear and clattered into Kieran Gibbs.
His weak contact sent the ball to Antonio Valencia, who returned the ball to the middle where the grounded Gibbs instinctively jabbed out a foot and diverted the ball into his own net.
Szczesny was forced off with a hip injury, following Jack Wilshere, who had been substituted after hurting his ankle – again – a couple of minutes earlier. United had not had a shot on target and yet they were ahead.
For long spells United had been desperately poor. Tyler Blackett gave the ball away again and again and Arsenal wasted chance after chance.
But that is the Arsenal way these days and, as they overcommitted seeking an equaliser, Angel Di Maria led a break that ended with Wayne Rooney dinking home a second.
In the first half United, playing a back three for the first time since the 0-0 draw away to Burnley in August, were astonishingly open.
Twice, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain created opportunities for Danny Welbeck in the opening quarter-hour by hitting the space behind Luke Shaw, who was forced off with injury after 16 minutes, the 40th injury suffered by United in Louis van Gaal’s four months in charge.
Welbeck spurned those chances, the first blocked by Paddy McNair, the second headed over.
David De Gea made two blocks in quick succession, the first from Jack Wilshere after his own clearance under pressure from Alexis had gifted United possession, the second from Oxlade-Chamberlain.
Arsenal lack ruthlessness and, as they failed to take advantage of United’s openness, a frustration set in, manifested most obviously in the strange sort of half butt Wilshere landed on Fellaini before half time.
He was fortunate, perhaps, that his relative shortness meant he connected with the Belgian’s chest. Fellaini seemed baffled rather than hurt by the incident.
The victory lifts United into the top four which, realistically is their goal this season.
They are 13 points behind Chelsea and five behind Manchester City but, at least, in their spirit and the way they hurled themselves in the way of shots and crosses late on, there is something to work on.
And things will become easier if the injury list ever begins to thin out.
Arsenal, though, look bereft even if Olivier Giroud confirmed his return form injury with a late goal. It is 10 years and a month since their 49-game unbeaten run came to an end at Old Trafford, and they arguably are yet to recover.
Frankly, if they cannot beat a patched-up United who defended as badly as this, you begin to wonder whether they can ever beat a top-four side again.
Boos rang around the Emirates as droves of fans left early: the pressure on manager Arsene Wenger is mounting. United have only two more points than Arsenal but they also have hope.
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