NELSON, NEW ZEALAND // So the International Cricket Council do not want matches like this sullying their World Cups any more? More fool them.
As Zimbabwe applied the finishing touches against the UAE in a gripping encounter at the gorgeous Saxton Oval on Thursday, Robbie Williams blared out over the loudspeakers.
Let me entertain you. And was everyone in the ground sufficiently entertained? The 2,643 people who had paid to come and watch? Of course they were. They had a ball.
Even though one of the sides were amateur players. Men who have to enter account data, or load cargo, or narrate flight safety plans, or answer telephones to make their living, before they think about going to practice their cricket.
Men who do not sell many adverts, or drive up the prices on television deals. The worthiest of all players at this competition.
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The UAE lost their first World Cup match in 19 years by four wickets, to a side whose superior funding can be counted in millions of dollars, rather than thousands.
Let us not patronise them by suggesting they were plucky in defeat. The national team expect better of themselves. They lapsed at crucial moments in the field. They sent down too many wides.
Yet they were still better than at any time in the past. They won a lot of friends. And they were competitive. Are you listening, ICC?
There were the odd reminders that this was a match, in old-fashioned parlance, of Gentlemen versus Players. To start with, there were the nerves.
It is fair to say there were nerves among the UAE players. That is forgivable, too.
Usually their matches are watched by the Sharjah Stadium goat, and nobody else. This time around there were thousands of people on the banks and in the stands, and a TV audience of millions.
It was telling on the players even before the start. Either to take their minds off it, or to ingratiate themselves to the local public, the strength and conditioning coach Peter Kelly had the players throwing a rugby ball around in the warm-up.
Gifted sportsmen they may be, but Richie McCaw and Dan Carter will not be losing any sleep on this evidence.
Soon after, Mohammed Tauqir, the captain recently restored to the side after two years out of cricket, in virtual retirement, was walking to the wicket while giving a pre-match TV interview.
His mind was clearly a little scrambled. When Elton Chigumbura flipped the coin at the toss, Tauqir caught it, so disorientated was he by the occasion. They had to have a re-take. Zimbabwe won it and the UAE batted.
The first runs came via a nervy leading edge off the bat of Amjad Ali. Andri Berenger was dropped, by Brendan Taylor at the wicket, after fishing at the first ball he faced.
Not long after he edged again, was caught, but was reprieved when the umpire checked for the no-ball.
When he smacked the subsequent free-hit for four, it was as though the pressure was released and belief flooded back through his side.
Khurram Khan, fresh from a night spent trending on Twitter, arrived, batted like a prince, then departed for 45. The score was 134 for four at the time. Often in the past that could easily have morphed into 180 all out, so vital is he to the side.
Instead, Shaiman Anwar chose this moment and this stage to announce his long awaited return to form.
The Pakistan-born batsman obviously likes New Zealand, and who couldn’t? He scored a century in the first game of the qualification competition last year, not far away in Rangiora.
It is difficult to imagine that innings against Nepal could have been anywhere near as sparkling as the scintillating, 50-ball 67 he made this time. Against a Test nation. At the sport’s showpiece event. With millions watching. At surely the most scenic venue ever to stage a World Cup fixture.
The straight six which he smashed into the sightscreen to bring up his half-century was probably the shot of the tournament, to date. For aesthetic value, it was a perfect 6.0.
His innings, supplemented by some lusty late hitting by Mohammed Naveed and Amjad Javed, helped UAE to make 285 for seven, the national team’s highest one-day international total.
They had Zimbabwe tottering at times, too. Tauqir took two wickets, but Sean Williams played a masterful hand to guide the African side to victory.
It was Williams’s 18th half-century in one-day internationals, a number that betters the amount of official ODIs any of the UAE players has played.
That is a telling fact. Much more exposure to this sort of cricket, and it does not take a great leap of imagination to think the UAE would be beating teams regularly. But cricket cannot have that.
REPORT CARD
Star performer - Sean Williams (Zimbabwe)
The UAE’s bowlers definitely set the nerves racing among the Zimbabwe players. Williams, who played the decisive knock to settle those nerves and the match in his side’s favour, admitted as much. “I could feel it out there, but I tried not to show it,” said the left-hander, who scored an undefeated 76 in 65 deliveries, having earlier taken two wickets.
Underperformer - Brendan Taylor (Zimbabwe)
The UAE were the better fielding team in this game. And that almost never happens, let alone against a team of professionals. Taylor, Zimbabwe’s wicketkeeper, set the tone by grassing an easy chance off Andri Berenger off the first ball of the second over, and his day hardly improved much from there.
Key moment
Williams won the man-of-the-match award for his seminal half-century, but his catch off the UAE’s leading batsman was just as vital. Khurram Khan had looked in typically prime touch before lasering a diving catch to Williams at point. Suddenly, the national team had to revise down their score projections.
UAE rating - 7/10
People who only follow cricket’s mainstream might have been surprised by the pluck UAE showed in their competition opener. The team will know themselves that they need to sharpen certain aspects of their game, though. Too many wides, occasional tatty ground-fielding. But, overall, promising.
Zimbabwe rating - 7/10
Woeful in the field, which was odd from a side who have often set high standards for themselves in that discipline in the past. They leaked runs with the ball, too, but more due to UAE batting excellence rather than their fallibility. However, they got the win, which has been a rare occurrence in the recent past, so they should be happy.
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The National verdict
This represented a missed chance for the UAE, but they now know they are not far off causing an upset at this level. Two wins will remain the goal, and their display here will give them plenty of confidence that can be achieved against Ireland next time out, plus one of West Indies or Pakistan.
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