I play a little tennis, it being a sport you can carry on playing into your 50s without arranging for paramedics to be standing by with emergency medical supplies.
I am fortunate in that I have found an opponent, who is only slightly younger than me, and is a smoker, so in terms of fitness, we are roughly equal - at about the level of a normal fit and healthy 70-year-old, or in other words a 55-year-old journalist.
He plays better tennis than I do, having had a few lessons and knowing about top spin and all that, but fortunately he is entirely non-competitive, and never misses the opportunity to apologise should he hit a winner that has me haring from one side of the court to the other (haring is a comparative term; to the naked eye it would more closely resemble tortoising).
I am no more bothered about winning than he is, so I suppose what we play is not so much tennis as it is widely understood, as a version in which we gently knock the ball across the net to each other until it is time for lunch.
Our service games are a particularly shameful deviation from tournament tennis. Instead of trying to come up with a winning first serve, and then if that fails, resorting to something less ambitious for the second, we tend to lob over the second serve first.
This gets the ball in play with the minimum of fuss, and saves us the trouble of retrieving the ball after the unsuccessful first serve, and bending down to pick it up, with all the attendant problems that could cause for aging back muscles.
Thankfully, few people are around to witness this pathetic spectacle, bar a few dog walkers and joggers, who usually have the good grace to avert their eyes and hurry on, recognising that as a sporting spectacle non-competitive tennis is only slightly less stultifyingly boring than the director's cut of The English Patient. The only spectators likely to linger by our court would be those involved in the antique clothing trade marvelling at our out of date sportswear.
There are better places to watch old men playing tennis than at Parliament Hill Fields in London, venue for my occasional outings - matches would be too strong a word. Anyone fortunate enough to have been at the Legends event at Dubai Tennis Stadium at the Aviation Club will confirm this.
Here, proper tennis has been served up by players who imbibed the competitive instinct with mother's milk, and whose bodies have been coursing with the stuff ever since.
South Africa's former No 1 and twice Australian Open semi-finalist Wayne Ferreira, the Swede Stefan Edberg, winner of six Grand Slam singles and three doubles titles, and American Jim Courier, who at the age of 38 remains almost as fit as he was when he was winning grand slams in the 1990s, are among the players who have been playing in Dubai. No going easy on the serves for them.
My attention has been with the oldest player in the tournament, Mansour Bahrami, the Iranian doubles sepcialist who has been a fixture in veterans' tournaments since 1993. He has become famous for his trick shots, notably the power shot through the legs and the drop shot which bounces back over the net because of excessive backspin.
He is of similar vintage to me, so I am lost in admiration for the way he uses this entertaining jiggery pokery to camouflage the passing of the years. It is a route I fear may not be viable for me.
mkelner@thenational.ae
How it works
A $10 hand-powered LED light and battery bank
Device is operated by hand cranking it at any time during the day or night
The charge is stored inside a battery
The ratio is that for every minute you crank, it provides 10 minutes light on the brightest mode
A full hand wound charge is of 16.5minutes
This gives 1.1 hours of light on high mode or 2.5 hours of light on low mode
When more light is needed, it can be recharged by winding again
The larger version costs between $18-20 and generates more than 15 hours of light with a 45-minute charge
No limit on how many times you can charge
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
Started: 2020
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: Entertainment
Number of staff: 210
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
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UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Almnssa
Started: August 2020
Founder: Areej Selmi
Based: Gaza
Sectors: Internet, e-commerce
Investments: Grants/private funding
Day 3 stumps
New Zealand 153 & 249
Pakistan 227 & 37-0 (target 176)
Pakistan require another 139 runs with 10 wickets remaining
Warlight,
Michael Ondaatje, Knopf
Company%20profile%20
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Director: Laxman Utekar
Cast: Vicky Kaushal, Akshaye Khanna, Diana Penty, Vineet Kumar Singh, Rashmika Mandanna
Rating: 1/5
COMPANY PROFILE
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Total funding: Self funded
How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
Jiu-jitsu calendar of events for 2017-2018:
August 5:
Round-1 of the President’s Cup in Al Ain.
August 11-13:
Asian Championship in Vietnam.
September 8-9:
Ajman International.
September 16-17
Asian Indoor and Martial Arts Games, Ashgabat.
September 22-24:
IJJF Balkan Junior Open, Montenegro.
September 23-24:
Grand Slam Los Angeles.
September 29:
Round-1 Mother of The Nation Cup.
October 13-14:
Al Ain U18 International.
September 20-21:
Al Ain International.
November 3:
Round-2 Mother of The National Cup.
November 4:
Round-2 President’s Cup.
November 10-12:
Grand Slam Rio de Janeiro.
November 24-26:
World Championship, Columbia.
November 30:
World Beach Championship, Columbia.
December 8-9:
Dubai International.
December 23:
Round-3 President’s Cup, Sharjah.
January 12-13:
Grand Slam Abu Dhabi.
January 26-27:
Fujairah International.
February 3:
Round-4 President’s Cup, Al Dhafra.
February 16-17:
Ras Al Khaimah International.
February 23-24:
The Challenge Championship.
March 10-11:
Grand Slam London.
March 16:
Final Round – Mother of The Nation.
March 17:
Final Round – President’s Cup.
The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo
Power: 398hp from 5,250rpm
Torque: 580Nm at 1,900-4,800rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L/100km
On sale: December
Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
Race card
6.30pm: Emirates Holidays Maiden (TB), Dh82,500 (Dirt), 1,900m
7.05pm: Arabian Adventures Maiden (TB), Dh82,500 (D), 1,200m
7.40pm: Emirates Skywards Handicap (TB), Dh82,500 (D), 1,200m
8.15pm: Emirates Airline Conditions (TB), Dh120,000 (D), 1,400m
8.50pm: Emirates Sky Cargo (TB), Dh92,500 (D)1,400m
9.15pm: Emirates.com (TB), Dh95,000 (D), 2,000m
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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The Sand Castle
Director: Matty Brown
Stars: Nadine Labaki, Ziad Bakri, Zain Al Rafeea, Riman Al Rafeea
Rating: 2.5/5
Should late investors consider cryptocurrencies?
Wealth managers recommend late investors to have a balanced portfolio that typically includes traditional assets such as cash, government and corporate bonds, equities, commodities and commercial property.
They do not usually recommend investing in Bitcoin or other cryptocurrencies due to the risk and volatility associated with them.
“It has produced eye-watering returns for some, whereas others have lost substantially as this has all depended purely on timing and when the buy-in was. If someone still has about 20 to 25 years until retirement, there isn’t any need to take such risks,” Rupert Connor of Abacus Financial Consultant says.
He adds that if a person is interested in owning a business or growing a property portfolio to increase their retirement income, this can be encouraged provided they keep in mind the overall risk profile of these assets.
In-demand jobs and monthly salaries
- Technology expert in robotics and automation: Dh20,000 to Dh40,000
- Energy engineer: Dh25,000 to Dh30,000
- Production engineer: Dh30,000 to Dh40,000
- Data-driven supply chain management professional: Dh30,000 to Dh50,000
- HR leader: Dh40,000 to Dh60,000
- Engineering leader: Dh30,000 to Dh55,000
- Project manager: Dh55,000 to Dh65,000
- Senior reservoir engineer: Dh40,000 to Dh55,000
- Senior drilling engineer: Dh38,000 to Dh46,000
- Senior process engineer: Dh28,000 to Dh38,000
- Senior maintenance engineer: Dh22,000 to Dh34,000
- Field engineer: Dh6,500 to Dh7,500
- Field supervisor: Dh9,000 to Dh12,000
- Field operator: Dh5,000 to Dh7,000
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
Guide to intelligent investing
Investing success often hinges on discipline and perspective. As markets fluctuate, remember these guiding principles:
- Stay invested: Time in the market, not timing the market, is critical to long-term gains.
- Rational thinking: Breathe and avoid emotional decision-making; let logic and planning guide your actions.
- Strategic patience: Understand why you’re investing and allow time for your strategies to unfold.
Paatal Lok season two
Directors: Avinash Arun, Prosit Roy
Stars: Jaideep Ahlawat, Ishwak Singh, Lc Sekhose, Merenla Imsong
Rating: 4.5/5
The Florida Project
Director: Sean Baker
Starring: Bria Vinaite, Brooklynn Prince, Willem Dafoe
Four stars