At 8am the morning of her French Open opening round on Sunday, Marta Kostyuk received a photo from her family in Kyiv, showing a building that was hit by a Russian missile just 100 metres away from her house, where her mother, sister, and grandmother’s sister are residing.
Kyiv was under heavy ballistic missile attack on Saturday night and Kostyuk stepped on court feeling sick to her stomach thinking of what could have happened had that missile landed on her family home.
“I had to live through it and deal with it and go out and play,” said the Ukrainian.
“I didn't know what to expect from myself. I didn't know how my focus is going to be, how I'm going to be able to, you know, control my emotions or my thoughts.”
Kostyuk got through her match 6-2, 6-3 over Russia’s Oksana Selekhmeteva, and later explained how it felt to be playing on court just a few hours after receiving that photo.
“There were obviously times in the match when I would go in back to thinking about it, because most of the morning I felt sick just for my thought that if it was 100 metres closer, I probably wouldn't have a mum and a sister today,” said the 23-year-old.
“It was really difficult to just process it so quick and also go out and play. That's why I'm also very happy that I played first match, because I don't know what would be the outcome if I played last, for example.
“Yeah, it's tough, but I'm very proud of myself today, of how we all handled it, and happy to be in the second round and that everyone is alive.”
Kostyuk’s compatriot Elina Svitolina battled through a tough three-setter against Hungarian Anna Bondar on Monday to advance to the second round and praised Kostyuk for how she navigated such difficult circumstances the day before.
“We are kind of used to it, in a way, but of course in Marta's case, when the missile is very close, landing really close to your home, to your parents, it is just terrifying,” said the 31-year-old.
“You are thinking too much, of course. When there are other kind of situations happening like this, of course, you start to think about it, you start to think about just your life and what are you doing here, in a way, because you could potentially lose your family.
“So I think it's just, for all Ukrainians like that, in general, we have been dealing with that, just maybe not always talking about this, but it's extremely tough, and I think it's weighing on us for years and years now. Some nights are easier; some nights are more difficult. I think she handled it amazingly.”
Like Svitolina, Kostyuk is strong, confident, and outspoken.
She has been that way ever since she broke out on tour as a 15-year-old, blasting her way through the qualifying rounds at the 2018 Australian Open and advancing to the third round of the main draw.
As a young teen, Kostyuk was a natural with the press, but often spoke with a tinge of sadness in her voice. It was clear she felt the heaviness of the world weigh on her more than your average 15-year-old, and she was resigned to the fact that her life as a tennis player required certain sacrifices.
“I’ve been through a lot of things in my life and I obviously don’t have a teenager’s life at all, zero per cent. I cannot even let myself be a teenager because it will affect me, it will affect my tennis. It’s tough, but it is the way it is,” she told me in an interview back in 2018.
Fast-forward to today, and Kostyuk is married, ranked 15 in the world, and is more in control of how she reacts to some of the harsh realities of life.
“I think for sure I had to work on the part where I want to control things. Because when you're disappointed with something and you have your control freak inside, that drains a lot of your energy because you want to change things. But there are things that I wanted to change that I had zero control over, because it's just the way the world is,” she said on Friday in Paris.
“Just letting that go definitely helped. For sure, just focusing on the things that I can actually change, and changing them. I still understand all of these things, I just don't think they have such an emotional load in them.
“Also, as you get older, you don't take everything so personal or so close, and that helps, so I never want to be young again,” she added with a smile.
“A lot of therapy also helped, for sure. But yeah, I'm still the same empathetic person. So, I understand things, but I don't let them ruin my day or ruin my mood or whatever.”
Kostyuk’s athleticism is one of her biggest strengths and she brought back her signature backflip celebration when she won her first WTA 1000 title in Madrid earlier this month.
She was a gymnast up until she was 11 years old, and while having that athletic background has certainly helped her tennis, it also came with its own set of struggles.
“It's a very strict sport. I had to be super skinny, I had to control what I eat. I would weigh myself 20-30 times a day when I was from eight to 10 years old, and it's not the weight that you can carry when you're this age, because you're not supposed to think about the food.
“You're never getting fat, especially when you're doing sports for five hours a day. And that had some consequences on me, obviously, that I had to work through, and the majority of my life I felt like it was a burden, in that sense.
“Right now, I'm free of that, and I'm very grateful that I had the chance to do this sport and to have the ability to do backflips and all of the things that I've done in the past.
“I also sustained a really big injury when I was young. I broke my adductor, and that had also consequences in my career, which I also dealt with and I fixed them, but it took a while.
“So there is always two sides, but for sure it helped my tennis, and I'm happy that I got out on the other side better.”
Kostyuk describes herself as “emotional” and says she’s able to use that to her advantage sometimes during matches.
“I really just try to be realistic about what's going on, rather than just wanting to win and wanting the results, and so on. I know when I need to let it [the emotions] out, because it builds up, and then I just have to let it go,” she added.
“And then there are moments where I can explain to myself why I shouldn't feel that way or this way. And I can change my narrative, and I can change my focus, so then the emotions go away, and it doesn't have the same weight on me.
“But I'm very happy that I'm emotional, so for sure I find ways when it helps me.”
That emotional maturity, helped by her coach Sandra Zaniewska, has taken Kostyuk to new heights this season.
She is undefeated on clay so far this campaign, sweeping titles in Rouen and Madrid and enters her second round at Roland Garros carrying a 13-match winning streak (including Billie Jean King Cup).
Those results have put Kostyuk among the leading contenders for the title in Paris, but the Ukrainian was quick to remind everyone of her recent struggles at the majors.
“So in the last four Grand Slams, I lost the first round in three of them,” she said.
“I think it's very big jumps. I try not to think about this at all. If people think I can do it, I'm capable of it, great. I'm only thinking about my first match, and then when I win my first match, I'm going to be thinking about my second match.
“But I'm definitely not thinking about the whole thing, because it's just too much. I think if you ask any player who's here, whether it's number one in the world, 10, 100, whatever, if they're going to start this tournament thinking they can win it from the first round, it's going to be too difficult to bear this, and too difficult to just play tennis.
“You will think about the result, you will think about the outcome, and this is not the point. The point is to enjoy.”
Kostyuk will face Katie Volynets at Roland Garros on Wednesday, where she will try to reach the third round on Parisian clay for just the second time in her career and her first since 2021.
