Worst spatial awareness
With their matching buzz-cuts, red hair, pale skin and athletic physiques, Lee Probert probably thought he was experiencing double vision when Ben Watson and Steve Sidwell were hurtling towards him on Saturday.
When the senses blur like that, the best option is to make a move one way or the other, then hope for the best.
The referee just stood frozen to the spot, however, and was the meat in the sandwich between the respective midfield dynamos of Wigan Athletic and Fulham.
While prone on the grass after the double whammy, Probert still managed to blow his whistle to bring play to a halt.
And while getting treatment from two fawning physios, he pretended to show red cards to both players.
Best retro chant
Children of the satellite television generation might not believe it, but Everton used to be one of the Big Five clubs, back in the day.
In 1984/85 and 1986/87 they even won the league.
Crazy, hey?
So there was a fragrant whiff of nostalgia on Saturday when, as they went 3-0 up at Swansea City on Saturday, their travelling supporters sang deliriously: "We're gonna win the league."
Between them, Everton's irrepressible forward line managed a monstrous 30 attempts on goal against the Welsh side.
In Leighton Baines, they have the form English player in the division. Marouane Fellaini is the leader of the Premier League's Belgian revolution. And Steven Pienaar is clearly a better player for that gap year he had at Tottenham Hotspur.
If David Moyes's side can marry their customary strong second-half of the campaign to their unseasonably fine start, they may even have an outside shout of proving their fans' outlandish aspirations correct.
Worst acting
Saturday was a pun-tastic day in the Premier League. Southampton were Puncheon above their weight when they came from behind to beat Aston Villa, with a goal contributed by Jason Puncheon, their forward.
And when Ashley Cole fired a rare goal to stoke Chelsea's win over Stoke City, it meant another open-goal of a pun was relegated to a down-page sub-header.
Before Cole scored in a nervy finish at Stamford Bridge, Chelsea's new playmaker was nominated for an Oscar for worst acting when he was booked for diving.
Oscar's wooden fall when he was clipped by the shadow of the defender, Ryan Shawcross, would have won the Brazilian forward a Razzie, had Branislav Ivanovic not come over all Keanu in the first half to seal that prize.
Worst subterfuge
In a league in which personnel are drawn from all over the world, and a good interpreter can be as valuable as a good centre-half, it is sometimes best to draw a picture to explain tactics.
It is a bit odd, though, that a Northern Irish manager felt the need to send on a message in note form through an English substitute, first to his English captain then on to his Welsh midfielder in the second half at Anfield yesterday.
Brendan Rodgers, the Liverpool manager, must have drawn the plan he envisaged and sent on with Jordan Henderson. Either that, or Steven Gerrard and Joe Allen are speed-readers.
The master plan all fell down, though, when Allen just threw the note on the grass once he had looked at it, for any old Manchester United player to pick up.
He should have eaten it: United must have cracked the code as they scored shortly after.
Best veteran
There was a theory when Andre Villas-Boas was the Chelsea manager that he was fearful of the senior players who were part of the furniture at the club.
When the Portuguese manager took over at Tottenham Hotspur at the start of this season, he might have mistaken Brad Friedel for an antique armchair in the directors' box.
The American goalkeeper is so long in the tooth, it is eight years since he retired from international football. His new manager was only 26 back then, and had just been given a chance with Porto's youth team, after a spell with the British Virgin Isles.
Everyone in France, including Fabian Barthez and Arsene Wenger, reckons Villas-Boas is mad for favouring the 41 year old goalkeeper over Hugo Lloris.
But Friedel proved his manager right again yesterday, with three brilliant first-half saves to keep Spurs in their game against Queens Park Rangers.
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Nayanthara: Beyond The Fairy Tale
Starring: Nayanthara, Vignesh Shivan, Radhika Sarathkumar, Nagarjuna Akkineni
Director: Amith Krishnan
Rating: 3.5/5
Neil Thomson – THE BIO
Family: I am happily married to my wife Liz and we have two children together.
Favourite music: Rock music. I started at a young age due to my father’s influence. He played in an Indian rock band The Flintstones who were once asked by Apple Records to fly over to England to perform there.
Favourite book: I constantly find myself reading The Bible.
Favourite film: The Greatest Showman.
Favourite holiday destination: I love visiting Melbourne as I have family there and it’s a wonderful place. New York at Christmas is also magical.
Favourite food: I went to boarding school so I like any cuisine really.
'Downton Abbey: A New Era'
Director: Simon Curtis
Cast: Hugh Bonneville, Elizabeth McGovern, Maggie Smith, Michelle Dockery, Laura Carmichael, Jim Carter and Phyllis Logan
Rating: 4/5
How has net migration to UK changed?
The figure was broadly flat immediately before the Covid-19 pandemic, standing at 216,000 in the year to June 2018 and 224,000 in the year to June 2019.
It then dropped to an estimated 111,000 in the year to June 2020 when restrictions introduced during the pandemic limited travel and movement.
The total rose to 254,000 in the year to June 2021, followed by steep jumps to 634,000 in the year to June 2022 and 906,000 in the year to June 2023.
The latest available figure of 728,000 for the 12 months to June 2024 suggests levels are starting to decrease.
Uefa Nations League
League A:
Germany, Portugal, Belgium, Spain, France, England, Switzerland, Italy, Poland, Iceland, Croatia, Netherlands
League B:
Austria, Wales, Russia, Slovakia, Sweden, Ukraine, Republic of Ireland, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Northern Ireland, Denmark, Czech Republic, Turkey
League C:
Hungary, Romania, Scotland, Slovenia, Greece, Serbia, Albania, Norway, Montenegro, Israel, Bulgaria, Finland, Cyprus, Estonia, Lithuania
League D:
Azerbaijan, Macedonia, Belarus, Georgia, Armenia, Latvia, Faroe Islands, Luxembourg, Kazakhstan, Moldova, Liechtenstein, Malta, Andorra, Kosovo, San Marino, Gibraltar
Sustainable Development Goals
1. End poverty in all its forms everywhere
2. End hunger, achieve food security and improved nutrition and promote sustainable agriculture
3. Ensure healthy lives and promote well-being for all at all ages
4. Ensure inclusive and equitable quality education and promote lifelong learning opportunities for all
5. Achieve gender equality and empower all women and girls
6. Ensure availability and sustainable management of water and sanitation for all
7. Ensure access to affordable, reliable, sustainable and modern energy for all
8. Promote sustained, inclusive and sustainable economic growth, full and productive employment and decent work for all
9. Build resilient infrastructure, promote inclusive and sustainable industrialisation and foster innovation
10. Reduce inequality within and among countries
11. Make cities and human settlements inclusive, safe, resilient and sustainable
12. Ensure sustainable consumption and production patterns
13. Take urgent action to combat climate change and its effects
14. Conserve and sustainably use the oceans, seas and marine resources for sustainable development
15. Protect, restore and promote sustainable use of terrestrial ecosystems, sustainably manage forests, combat desertification, and halt and reverse land degradation and halt biodiversity loss
16. Promote peaceful and inclusive societies for sustainable development, provide access to justice for all and build effective, accountable and inclusive institutions at all levels
17. Strengthen the means of implementation and revitalise the global partnership for sustainable development
Background: Chemical Weapons
Sholto Byrnes on Myanmar politics
GCC-UK%20Growth
%3Cp%3EAn%20FTA%20with%20the%20GCC%20would%20be%20very%20significant%20for%20the%20UK.%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20My%20Department%20has%20forecast%20that%20it%20could%20generate%20an%20additional%20%C2%A31.6%20billion%20a%20year%20for%20our%20economy.%3Cbr%3EWith%20consumer%20demand%20across%20the%20GCC%20predicted%20to%20increase%20to%20%C2%A3800%20billion%20by%202035%20this%20deal%20could%20act%20as%20a%20launchpad%20from%20which%20our%20firms%20can%20boost%20their%20market%20share.%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
RACE CARD
6.30pm Maiden Dh165,000 (Dirt) 1,200
7.05pm Handicap Dh165,000 (D) 1,600m
7.40pm Maiden Dh165,000 (D) 1,600m
8.15pm Handicap Dh190,000 (D) 1,600m
8.50pm Handicap Dh175,000 (D) 1,400m
9.25pm Handicap Dh175,000 (D) 2,000m
The National selections:
6.30pm Underwriter
7.05pm Rayig
7.40pm Torno Subito
8.15pm Talento Puma
8.50pm Etisalat
9.25pm Gundogdu
UFC%20FIGHT%20NIGHT%3A%20SAUDI%20ARABIA%20RESULTS
%3Cp%3E%0D%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EMain%20card%3Cbr%3EMiddleweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3ERobert%20Whittaker%20defeated%20Ikram%20Aliskerov%20via%20knockout%20(Round%201)%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EHeavyweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EAlexander%20Volkov%20def%20Sergei%20Pavlovich%20via%20unanimous%20decision%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EMiddleweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EKelvin%20Gastelum%20def%20Daniel%20Rodriguez%20via%20unanimous%20decision%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EMiddleweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EShara%20Magomedov%20def%20Antonio%20Trocoli%20via%20knockout%20(Round%203)%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ELight%20heavyweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EVolkan%20Oezdemir%20def%20Johnny%20Walker%20via%20knockout%20(Round%201)%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPreliminary%20Card%0D%3Cbr%3ELightweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3ENasrat%20Haqparast%20def%20Jared%20Gordon%20via%20split%20decision%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFeatherweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EFelipe%20Lima%20def%20Muhammad%20Naimov%20via%20submission%20(Round%203)%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EWelterweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3ERinat%20Fakhretdinov%20defeats%20Nicolas%20Dalby%20via%20split%20decision%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBantamweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EMuin%20Gafurov%20def%20Kang%20Kyung-ho%20via%20unanimous%20decision%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ELight%20heavyweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EMagomed%20Gadzhiyasulov%20def%20Brendson%20Ribeiro%20via%20majority%20decision%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBantamweight%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%0D%3Cbr%3EChang%20Ho%20Lee%20def%20Xiao%20Long%20via%20split%20decision%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
More from Neighbourhood Watch
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
2017%20RESULTS%3A%20FRENCH%20VOTERS%20IN%20UK
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EFirst%20round%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3Cbr%3EEmmanuel%20Macron%3A%2051.1%25%3Cbr%3EFrancois%20Fillon%3A%2024.2%25%3Cbr%3EJean-Luc%20Melenchon%3A%2011.8%25%3Cbr%3EBenoit%20Hamon%3A%207.0%25%3Cbr%3EMarine%20Le%20Pen%3A%202.9%25%3Cbr%3E%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ESecond%20round%3C%2Fstrong%3E%3Cbr%3EEmmanuel%20Macron%3A%2095.1%25%3Cbr%3EMarine%20Le%20Pen%3A%204.9%25%26nbsp%3B%3C%2Fp%3E%0A